To think this is too much?

[Geeitsfriday]

Do you think an alternate of calpol and nurofen every day every 4 hours for months is too much? I'm starting to worry about a friends baby. I wouldn't dare say anything as she is a great mother and loves her DD very much. But knowing she uses it when they get whiney 'in case they're in pain' is troubling to me as it could be a number of things, tiredness included. I know she thinks she's doing the right thing but I'm not so sure. What's everyone else's opinion on this much pain relief every day? Surely the liver is going to be impacted long term?

Call 111 now.

When eldest dd was a baby I remember reading a report that it was common to give a baby a 'calpol shot' to get them to sleep. A lot of parents at the time believed that calpol had a sedative in it ( it doesn't)
I would report your concerns as it's surprisingly easy to accidentally give a tiny child an accidental overdose.

PLEASE RING THE POLICE STRAIGHT AWAY.

You shouldn’t say something to her, you need to tell the authorities. If you tell her, she may just become more secretive about it. She’s committing a serious criminal offence not to mention putting her child’s life potentially at risk. I’m not sure why you think in any way she’s a good mother. That poor baby likely needs medical help straight away.

@justanotherneighinparadise

My second teethed very badly and on the pharmacists advice I would alternate ibuprofen with paracetamol and it worked very well. I would only do this on the odd night when he SCREAMED.

Me too, I've only ever given calpol or nurofen at night when DS pain seemed to be worse and he couldn't sleep. Never ever for longer than a week at most, more likely 5 days and only ever one dose. This is why the amount really stuck out to me

I would make a report to social services. That baby is in danger.

Have you considered contacting your local health visiting team for advice?
This way you're getting clarity and presenting the situation to the team who can use their training to visit and support the mum or signpost her to the correct team.

@Chooseausernamenow

PLEASE RING THE POLICE STRAIGHT AWAY.

You shouldn’t say something to her, you need to tell the authorities. If you tell her, she may just become more secretive about it. She’s committing a serious criminal offence not to mention putting her child’s life potentially at risk. I’m not sure why you think in any way she’s a good mother. That poor baby likely needs medical help straight away.

She needs educating on the risks and harms. Just because a bottle says every 4 hours doesn't mean you should. I don't think anyone has ever told her this. She won't become more secretive about it if someone says anything because she genuinely believes she's doing the right thing for her child. I just think someone needs to step in and explain to her the potential damage she's causing. And right now, I'm quite happy for it to be me.

Thats a good idea. Although they have been a nightmare to get hold of with everything going on.

What about

“She’s in pain such a lot, I want you to make a GP appointment to get her checked over, tell them how much medication she is needing, I am worried that she shouldn’t need so much, it says on the bottle use for up to 3 consecutive days and then consult GP”
I’m a GP and I don’t mind you saying “insist the GP see her” to check her over.

Also postnatal depression can make it much harder to deal with normal crying and look for gentle opportunities to see how she is doing/support / suggest health visitor/ meeting up more/ having a break for herself / her own sleep etc

Not being rude but could the mum possibly have a learning disability? Is it possible that she doesn't understand the medicine instructions? ( maybe she thinks it has to be every 4 hours everyday instead of every four hours if necessary)

Is she dosing the child through the day and night do you know? And do you have it in writing?

It is too much. Maybe try giving some calgel or those herbal teething powders, both of which worked for us with two children.

Way way way too much.

I cannot believe you are saying shes a good mother? Any adult with a functioning brain know this is too much medication , for anyone, let alone a small kid. Why haven't you taken any action till now?

Call the police and report someone on their use of calpol

Surely if she is your friend being brave and talking to her seriously should be your first port of call? Either she doesn't understand how to use the medication responsibly or she is being flippant or exaggerating her comments. Only you know from the conversation if she sounded deadly serious about meditating their child EVERY day rather than every day for a week while they were unwell (when your kid is out of sorts it can seem like it has been going on for months even though it's been a matter of days).

If that doesn't work a chat with their HV might help. My friend had to do this for a different reason but ut made the HV aware and the correct supports were put in place.

@Coffeeandaride

What about

“She’s in pain such a lot, I want you to make a GP appointment to get her checked over, tell them how much medication she is needing, I am worried that she shouldn’t need so much, it says on the bottle use for up to 3 consecutive days and then consult GP”
I’m a GP and I don’t mind you saying “insist the GP see her” to check her over.

Also postnatal depression can make it much harder to deal with normal crying and look for gentle opportunities to see how she is doing/support / suggest health visitor/ meeting up more/ having a break for herself / her own sleep etc

This seems perfect advice. If she doesn’t agree, contact others for help

PLEASE grow a backbone and either tackle this directly with her or report her anonymously to social services/her local health visiting team. That child is at danger and so is the mum it seems.

Gosh that's awful and really worrying. How can she think it's acceptable?
Please do call someone.

This has made me feel sick. That poor baby could be crying for anything. My DD is teething and during the day you can generally just distract them from it. She has calpol at night if she's really unsettled and never for more than a few days (it says on the bottle!) Is she struggling and feeling overwhelmed so just doing it to make the baby quiet because she can't deal with trying to distract the baby with play/just wants to be left alone?? Agree with PP it absolutely needs dealing with.

@Coffeeandaride

What about

“She’s in pain such a lot, I want you to make a GP appointment to get her checked over, tell them how much medication she is needing, I am worried that she shouldn’t need so much, it says on the bottle use for up to 3 consecutive days and then consult GP”
I’m a GP and I don’t mind you saying “insist the GP see her” to check her over.

Also postnatal depression can make it much harder to deal with normal crying and look for gentle opportunities to see how she is doing/support / suggest health visitor/ meeting up more/ having a break for herself / her own sleep etc

This is super helpful. Thank you so much

I'm on it guys. Thank you all

She needs educating on the risks and harms.

But not by you.

By a professional, be that a dr or via social services.

You need to protect the child.

Wow. Surely it's instinct to know that giving medication day after day could be harmful.

The only time I've alternated ibuprofen and calpol was (on the GPs advice) when DS was delirious with fever due to an ear infection. He was literally screaming the place down - I et the neighbours know what the problem was so they weren't alarmed.

How old is the child?

The only time my child has had calpol every day for a week was when they broke their collar bone.

I would raise it, maybe look into the long term
Effects of nurofen and then show them to your friend? So you approach it with scientific proof!

Oh God.

OP, all I can say is I'd happily see a friendship ended in this case - the baby is in real danger here, kidney/liver damage, death. No exaggeration.

If it's been going on for some time, it's perfectly possible that when she stops medicating, the baby becomes distressed?