Police advising women not to walk alone at night

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

I’ve seen a lot of friends outraged at the Met police locally advising women not to walk alone at night in the days following the disappearance of Sarah Everard. I’ve seen a posts along the lines of ‘how about telling men not to attack women instead?’

I absolutely agree with the wider point that we should be asking the question “how do we make it safe for women?” not “how do women stay out of danger?”

But in this case, was the police’s advice not just the equivalent of advising people to stay out of the water following a shark attack?

I’m so upset and angry about Sarah Everard but I cannot get incensed about the police advising women to take precautions when an unknown attacker may have still been in the area.

I am laughing at Dame C D promising to put yet more police in the area where she was abducted.

For what? He's in custody now. You think we want more dodgy coppers menacing around?

It is a terrible message because it says 'if you go out alone you are putting yourself at risk - your responsibility' when as we can see, many women HAVE NO CHOICE.

I work late evenings. (or do in normal times). I cannot afford cabs and anyway Uber are a safeguarding nightmare. My employer won't pay for them as after hours transport because they don't pass compliance. Who can I walk from the bus stop with? It's just impractical, mostly scaremongering and just victim-blamey. Makes the police etc feel as if they have dine good by sending out a 'safety message'.

It is a terrible message because it spreads fear.

Women ALREADY do the mental risk assessment every time we go out after dark, in a way men do not. We know what taking care of ourselves means, insofar as we are able.

When I was assaulted it was in broad daylight in a crowded pavement. And I was with a friend.

Mostly our streets are safe, Attacks like this are very rare. But we are constantly vigilant because the impact, if it is you in the wrong place at the wrong time, is total.

But...if we spend all our lives behind our front doors except when it is possible to seek an escort - what are our lives then?

The police can just STFU with their ill thought out trite messages.

It’s just advice. The police aren’t saying it’s compulsory, so I don’t understand why women are outraged. Of course it would be nice if they just told men not to attack and rape, and that they would stop. But obviously that’s not going to happen. Ever. So we just have to use our common sense, as has always been the case. I never have, and never would, walk anywhere lonely or isolated after dark. But other women would. It’s all about taking responsibility for your own choices and assessing risks, like anything else in life.

Women aren’t innocent either

Brilliant

There are not many details out I thought I had read he hadent been on duty at the time ?

@LucilleTheVampireBat

'Makes me rage that in the year 2021 the solution to male violence is to tell women to change their behaviour.*'

This .

How about men having to be restricted more because of male violence than women always having to restrict their lives
gosh, dont be silly, society is run by men for men, they're not going to start making rules which inconvenience them are they!!
(sarcasm obvs)

Women should be able to walk wherever they wish but we share this world with some fairly unpleasant men so I can't get upset with this police advice. It's just common sense.

The trouble is it isn't only women at risk. I was 11 the first time a man tried. And it was lunchtime, not at night. I was so young I didn't initially realise what he wanted, I just knew he was bad news. Are police going into schools and warning girls to walk to and from school in groups? Are they putting extra patrols on at 3.30 near schools? Because sadly that's what's needed.

Something fundamental needs to change!

@SimonJT I am tiny, but I still walk alone in the dark, especially when it’s winter and the days are shorter. I stick to lit paths, preferably streets where there are houses. It just makes me feel a bit safer. I am nervous, but it makes me feel safe if I know others will hear me or see me if I’m in trouble.

People can get attacked wherever, whenever, but I just take steps that make me feel safer.

More women are killed in their own homes than they are walking home in the dark.

Maybe they should be advising everyone (male and female) to not walk alone at night? Men get stabbed, killed and raped too 🤔

I do agree that women should not have to protect themselves from men but sadly we do, not just when walking home alone. In a ideal world there would be no rapists or murderers but we don’t live in that world. Women want to feel safe and equal but we will never be that ☹️.

You can't blame a whole group for the actions of one person. Most men do not murder strangers

No, but because a tiny minority of men murder and rape men ALL women are on high alert or feel that the behaviour of these men limits their freedom, to some extent. So men can never be expected to take the hit for the actions of a few of their number, but ALL women are expected to (have to) modify their own choices because of men.

Same old, same old.

Suggestion of a curfew for men is bonkers. The good decent men would follow the rule and stay indoors, and the bad ones would just sneak out, hide , then pounce when they found a victim.

The people who are getting het up about women being told what to do, etc... When you leave the house and there's nobody else home, do you lock your doors? Because by the same logic, you shouldn't even have to have a lock - why should you live in fear of being burgled, etc.

Advising people to minimise the risk to themselves is not the same as victim blaming.

Why dont they advise men to not walk out alone at night instead

Not offended by the police advice, but the conversation should move on to how can we make the streets safer for both men and women, eg some cities have a route which is monitored on live cctv so people can feel safe from muggers walking on it. That is an achievable goal that might make a difference.

That said there is no way to protect against a policeman who also happens to be a murderous rapist. Something that has come to light during black lives matter and covid is perhaps police forces should do more psychological assessment of their staff / make it easier to fire someone because of concerns about the psychological state. If someone has the legal power to detain a member of the public, then we need to get better at ensuring that police forces can spot and weed out the nutters.

As for making the streets completely safe by ‘educating men’ well that’s a nonsense isn’t it, you can’t educate a psycho into not being a psycho. And the streets will never be completely safe for either men or women. Never have been in any place in the world so not much point talking about that. (In fact it can be dangerous telling people that they have the right to walk home alone in the dark with earphones in etc)

We need achievable goals.

@AnyFucker

Women aren’t innocent either

Brilliant

Didn't take long did it.

Lots of NAMALT bs as well.

Or, all men and women advised to not walk out alone at night time

@PowerslidePanda

The people who are getting het up about women being told what to do, etc... When you leave the house and there's nobody else home, do you lock your doors? Because by the same logic, you shouldn't even have to have a lock - why should you live in fear of being burgled, etc.

Advising people to minimise the risk to themselves is not the same as victim blaming.

I honestly thought people had stopped with this utter fuckwittery.

Are you comparing a woman to a house, or a car? Can a body be burgled? What, exactly, is the comparison between a human of the female sex and a BMW?

Sadly we have to live in the world in which we actually live. Not the one we wish we lived in.

The sentiment that women shouldn’t have to change their behaviour is spot on. The reality is quite different. Because there is no quick fix to the issue of male violence.

Can anyone provide a link to the met telling women not to walk alone at night? I've only seen general advice to people (not just women) to be aware of their surroundings when walking at night.

As posters upthread have pointed out, the statistics do not backup this advice. Most women are killed by men they know in their own homes.

"Sensible" advice for women would be not to live with men. Preferably don't date or marry them either. I wonder if the police made that advice public if men would still like it.

Well they could but it won't stop opportunistic predators ,or women who need to be on the streets after dark getting home from work etc .

I honestly thought people had stopped with this utter fuckwittery.

Are you comparing a woman to a house, or a car? Can a body be burgled? What, exactly, is the comparison between a human of the female sex and a BMW?

That's kind of my point, actually. Why are people happy to take precautions to protect their possessions, but not themselves?

I don't care that it was a police officer. Police officers do the same things everyone else does.

I do object to the same old crap being poured forth again - women stay at home, don't go out alone - have they said 'Be careful what you wear' yet?

Of course if I thought there was an attacker on the loose I'd stay in, and warn my dd to stay on, and my dgd. But there's a potential attacker attached to every penis in the country, and beyond. Including every lovely 'feminist' man, to every beloved mother's son. The 'banter' with the 'boys', when they don't challenge each other's sexist, rapey attitudes ...

So generation after generation, women stay indoors. And men continue to kill us.

In, not on.

The best advice for women would be to never share their home with a man because the men we share our lives and our beds with are far more likely to rape, assault and murder us than any other man.

I can't imagine that would be a popular message though.

This is scarily accurate.

I remember growing up and being warned about walking home alone, don’t get into a car with strangers etc but never about the dangers of the men around me.