Police advising women not to walk alone at night

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

I’ve seen a lot of friends outraged at the Met police locally advising women not to walk alone at night in the days following the disappearance of Sarah Everard. I’ve seen a posts along the lines of ‘how about telling men not to attack women instead?’

I absolutely agree with the wider point that we should be asking the question “how do we make it safe for women?” not “how do women stay out of danger?”

But in this case, was the police’s advice not just the equivalent of advising people to stay out of the water following a shark attack?

I’m so upset and angry about Sarah Everard but I cannot get incensed about the police advising women to take precautions when an unknown attacker may have still been in the area.

Also the two sisters during lockdown who were murdered Nicole Smallman and Bibaa Henry in the park the police took selfies in front of their corpses and other inappropriate photos of their bodies and shared them in a whatsapp group . I think there are some serious attitudes towards woman and ethnic minorities that need to be addressed . They also let someone who had a charge for indecent exposure back to work in the role of protection officer I mean the irony of this is horrendous

@Muncher75
Yes it is incredibly discriminatory isn't it! And yet every time something like this happens women are expected to modify their behaviour and comply with an informal curfew - "we advise you not to go out at night" and nothing is done to challenge the views of the men who do this. Do you see the irony?
We need more men in influential positions calling out the behaviour of the males they know that hold derogatory views about women and a sense of entitlement. If more men challenged other men and the government did more to take VAWG seriously then there would be less men committing opportunistic crimes.

Why don’t they put a curfew on men when there is a suspected attacker in the area?

Would this not be akin to putting a curfew on POC every time a gang member stabs somebody in London?

@PinkPanther27

So you think that there should be a law that men have to stay in, so that women can go out?

@Darlingx
I don't know that case but that's disgusting.

@Eckhart
No. Read my post above

I'm conflicted on the victim blaming bit too tbh. End of the day you either want to avoid being abducted or you don't. The rapist probably doesn't care about political correctness.

I should be able to leave my house unlocked/car keys in engine but I'm definitely not going to!

Actually @eckhart I already responded to you and said no- did you not see this?

[quote PinkPanther27]@Eckhart
No. Read my post above[/quote]
I did.

Oh, I see, you think we should just talk about a curfew?

@fleurpower123
I agree. I will always take precautions but we should also be hearing a very clear message everywhere that puts the responsibility clearly onto the man who committed this crime.

So the indecent exposure incident is exactly what the issue is.
McDonald’s called the police to report him exposing himself to a women in the restaurant.
They had the car registration ( same car he then abducted sarah with ) also gave them clear cctv of the man. The police decided they didn’t have time to investigate. This is the problem. Not acting on other sexual incidents which then escalate !

It’s outrageous that the police focus their attention on women and expect them to change their behaviour. I feel the same when people put the responsibility on black people to not get stopped, or killed by police officers. Society needs to stop putting the focus on women and what they are supposed to do (e.g not walk home in the dark alone) the focus needs to be on MEN to change their behaviour. I’m sick and tired of men killing and abusing women.

@eckhart yes. Talking is a good place to start and when men start feeling the same anxiety, frustration, and anger we do about their rights potentially being taken away then they're more likely to 'get it'.

@FleurPower123

Why don’t they put a curfew on men when there is a suspected attacker in the area?

Would this not be akin to putting a curfew on POC every time a gang member stabs somebody in London?

Exactly. I'm embarrassed at how many people of my own sex are fully for imprisoning 50% of the population in their own homes from 6pm . The lack of logic is terrifying.

@Troublewaters2021

So the indecent exposure incident is exactly what the issue is. McDonald’s called the police to report him exposing himself to a women in the restaurant. They had the car registration ( same car he then abducted sarah with ) also gave them clear cctv of the man. The police decided they didn’t have time to investigate. This is the problem. Not acting on other sexual incidents which then escalate !

I honestly think there could be a turning point on this, especially since the recently jailed murderer of Libby Squires also escalated from similar sexual offences before committing rape and murder.

Both are very high-profile cases. "Flashing" is not just something funny done by harmless weirdos. It should not be laughed at or minimised. It needs to be investigate and punished severely.

@Clymene

The best advice for women would be to never share their home with a man because the men we share our lives and our beds with are far more likely to rape, assault and murder us than any other man.

I can't imagine that would be a popular message though.

This

The skateboard guy is the perfect example of this bravery and reminds me of my brother its scary but he would get involved without a thought for his safety

[quote PinkPanther27]@eckhart yes. Talking is a good place to start and when men start feeling the same anxiety, frustration, and anger we do about their rights potentially being taken away then they're more likely to 'get it'.[/quote]
I agree. Do you not think we need to do something a bit more drastic than being at 'a good place to start'? Something to protect potential victims NOW? If not, why not? And if so, what could we do?

Or do we just keep talking about the curfew until people stop murdering people?

Then you read stories like these:

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/dad-who-attacked-woman-walking-23694175

Clearly punishments need to be harsher for sexual offences. This guy will feel like he basically got away with this. No amount of innocent men saying "hey, don't catcall women, don't be sexist" will stop him doing it again.

Lock dangerous men up like this for a long time. Don't let them off and then act surprised when they do it again or do something even worse.

@clymene
Clymene

"The best advice for women would be to never share their home with a man because the men we share our lives and our beds with are far more likely to rape, assault and murder us than any other man."

Other than men stop abusing women, yes this is true. It shows that whatever women are told to do- go out, or stay at home, we will never be safe from men. So absolutely the message needs to be about them. Self defence classes etc are great but should not be the focus- it should be "we are going to hold men responsible and accountable for their actions and we will take this seriously from now. We know the men that complete these crimes are complete sh*theads and it will take time to do this so we will fund free self defence classes for anyone that wants them whilst we sort this male issue out"

The independent . Wembley murders I quote watchdog deeply concerned by the issues emerging . It was investigated and I think it helped that their mother was an archdeacon and stood up for them with such bravery she stated they had been dehumanised . This is what worries me

@eckhart
No I agree that we need to do so much more now but it shouldn't just be the same "women stay at home response". I wish I had all the answers but whatever the solution is, it needs to be something that makes everyone stand up and pay attention.

* Would this not be akin to putting a curfew on POC every time a gang member stabs somebody in London?*

What are you on about? It’s not relate-able at all, you do realise that people from all races commit street crime and are involved in gang crime...
Statistically poor people are more likely to commit crime than wealthy people, is this also akin?

[quote PinkPanther27]@eckhart
No I agree that we need to do so much more now but it shouldn't just be the same "women stay at home response". I wish I had all the answers but whatever the solution is, it needs to be something that makes everyone stand up and pay attention.[/quote]
So, there's potentially somebody murderous on the loose, and you're not sure what we should do, but it shouldn't be to warn potential victims to stay safe.

I'm still not seeing it, I'm afraid.

[quote PinkPanther27]@eckhart
No I don't but turning the focus onto men and talking about a curfew for men is already causing an outrage and having men protest about "it's my right to ....." .

So it's much more likely to make them realise that this is the shit we have to put up with. Once some of the men in power have been left to squirm for a few days about having a potential curfew put on them then they're more likely to realise that this is our reality and start to take VAWG more seriously. Only then will they be ready to have a grown up discussion about managing men's behaviour and their role in this.[/quote]
No it isn't. What a load of absolute nonsense.

You really think this would ever have a chance of being passed or that anyone thinks it's anything other than ridiculous?

As for them kicking off about their rights (not that I think any men has given this any more than an eye roll), is thet different to grown women throwing tantrums about toilets?