Child in DD’s class.

[Roob23]

Dd is nearly 6 and in year 1. There is a boy in her class with additional needs. Now before anyone jumps down my throat about writing this. My eldest child is autistic and has 1:1 at school so as a parent I full understand how hard this is. I’m not judging or blaming the boy or his parents maybe more the school for not supervising him.

Dd is a sensitive girl with some issues. She is speech delayed and young for her age she but despite this she generally loves school. But every day she comes home saying the said boy is hitting her, pinching her, kicking, snatching things off her etc. She gets very upset about this. She says she tells the teacher but they don’t seem to do anything about it.

As a parent of a child with additional needs I understand that this isn’t the boys fault BUT I feel like there should be more supervision.

I’ve always had concerns of the lack of staff in DD’s class. There’s at least 4 or 5 of them needing more support and supervision but often only one TA with the teacher. At lunch times they don’t seem to be fully supervised at all.

Aibu to bring this up with the school? I feel like a complete asshole as my own DS would be a bit of a handful in year 1 too (but never hit or kicked anyone as far as I’m aware). Dd is telling the teacher so maybe I should just leave it? But then the school don’t see the upset when she gets home about it.

Wwyd?

so what happens to these dc at lunch time exactly? Do they get extra supervision? Can your dd tell you when these incidences occur?
A word to the wise - we were taught that when asking questions you have to be very careful about how you ask questions - namely do it by "mirroring" which is to say in this case when dd says "he hit me" you than say repeat this back like "so he hit you ? " & lead her step by step into telling you more about when & where & how

Thanks all. As far as I’m aware the said child does have an EHCP. I only know this because I do know his mum and we have chatted on occasion as we’ve been through similar experiences getting diagnosed and getting an EHCP etc. I feel this is going to get into the other families business now but as far as I’m aware he does indeed have an EHCP. But I’m not sure if it states 1:1 or not.

My own DS has one because has significant learning difficulties.

As previous posters have said. You do need to bring it up with the school. Politely and calmly of course, but the school needs to be told.
I have worked as the 1 -2-1 in this situation, where I was having to be 1-2-1 to 5 children simultaneously as only one of them had the funding for the extra help. Ironically that child needed the least help out of the group.
Underfunded schools is a serious problem and the more people who speak out, the better.

Be specific if you think the incidents are mainly at lunchtime. In a bigger school especially the teacher may not be aware and it may not be her place to intervene in how midday supervisors are utilised on the playground. It is the school's issue to solve and the teacher needs to be involved but they cannot be the one responsible for what happens at lunch.

Sadly most EHCPs aren’t worth the paper they are written on because they are so wooly in what they specify.

I had to fight and quote the law just to get specific targets and 1-1 named!

I would raise it with the school, nothing at all wrong with calmly bringing it up. If anything it could well help school in the battle to get the support needed.

An EHCP doesn’t always cover the cost of an additional member of staff, especially as the school is meant to fund about £6,000 out of its already overstretched budget

To add my own daughter has an EHCP too. I. didn’t add in this in my original post ad felt it was too much detail. She does not need 1:1 support herself but does need extra support with her speech & language. She had an EHCP out in place before she started after seeing an Ed psych who said she requires it as her speech was non existent when she started (little chatterbox now but still delayed). She’s not believed to be on the spectrum like ds - or she’s masking very well.

I think I will email the teacher today. I find it’s impossible to speak to them on drop offs and pick ups.

I have an autistic son at a highly specialised school . He is 2:1 and cannot cope with being around other children . Prior to this he was kicking and hitting other children at a different specialised school with only 1:1 . I was always mortified .
I would definitely talk to school , you sound like a calm and reasonable parent but your daughter shouldn’t have to endure this on a daily basis and she could then expect to be treated like this by other people in her life which isn’t healthy .
I was always mortified with my son hurting other children /staff . They need to address what is happening to your daughter as it is a safeguarding concern

Speak to the teacher as soon as possible. The teacher may not be aware of every incident and she may not be aware how bad an effect they're having on your DD. And from now on keep a log of incidents in case they continue and then escalate if necessary. You might have to escalate but speaking to the teacher is the first step.

Focus on how the school will protect and support your DD and not on whether the boy has a diagnosis or an ECHP, that is 100% not your business.

(Sorry, x-post - I see you are going to email the teacher today. )

Roob23- the trouble is even if the child has a full time 32.5 hour 1-1 ta the school don’t always use the ta as they should as there’s a lot of pressures on the school so the ta gets taken away to be used for other children even if it’s stated in the ehcp. When we got ehcp in mainstream we had lots of times still where ds wasn’t supervised all the time as he should have been (Close monitoring at all times including break and lunch was in the ehcp and he had a full time 32.5 hour ta). So definately still worth pointing out to school.

If the child had an EHCP which specified 1:1 then he'd be getting it. The school has to provide what the plan says. The fact he doesn't have it likely means the plan doesn't specify it and therefore it's not funded. It would need to be reviewed which would take a lot of time.

The government basic funding covers 1 teacher and 1 TA for a class of 30 and no more. If the school put an extra one in from their own funds then something else will have to get cut.

Many schools are running a deficit budget this year. Lots of children deregistered during COVID and their funding will be lost. Lettings money that many schools relied on for extra income has dried up plus likely no PTA contributions. There won't be any extra in the pot.

You have every right to complain if you feel your child is not safe but you cannot demand extra staffing if they have no money to provide that.
They should try to make some solution but very doubtful it would be extra staff.

Definitely raise it. Your DD needs to know you have her back. The school needs to know what’s going on. Your DD needs to feel safe at school.

Whst you absolutely shouldn’t do and it doesn’t sound like you are sort of person who would anyway is kick off at the other parent about doing something about it. Having been in this situation i can say it’s awful, but realistically the parent can’t do anything when they are not there, the parent can support the school but ultimately if there is funding for support in place it is up to the school to use it properly

You need to leave the boy out of the email, and don’t mention his name - if you do the parent has the right to see the mail

Say it in your DDs terms

DD feels DD was upset when x happened DD cried DD is worried about school etc

I think the SEN is a red herring. They have a responsibility to keep your child safe and that includes from other children.

I a child has funding which states “x hours 1-1 support provided by a qualified teaching assistant” then school has to provide that and if they don’t then it should be reported to the local authority to sort.

However in most areas getting that working is a fight and they will use things like “high levels of adult support” or even “will require some 1-1 support” which doesn’t actually mean anything.

@ineedaholidaynow

Unfortunately the school probably don’t have the funds for an additional member of staff in the classroom

So they should apply for an EHCP - just as they presumably did for OP's older child.

Definately bring it up don't send the poor child to school everyday to get attacked for goodness sake. Give your head a wobble OP that's your child.

If the child had an EHCP which specified 1:1 then he'd be getting it. The school has to provide what the plan says. The fact he doesn't have it likely means the plan doesn't specify it and therefore it's not funded. It would need to be reviewed which would take a lot of time.

It will take up to 12 weeks, but that doesn't mean the wheels shouldn't be put in motion.

OP, I suggest you get a copy of the school's bullying and safeguarding policies and ask for a meeting with the head and class teacher to discuss how they are putting them into effect. They may be cash-strapped, but that doesn't change their duty to keep their pupils safe.

I think there is an commonly held view (in mainstream schools) that the only way to support a child's needs is to have a dedicated 1-1.
Often what is actually needed is a closer working relationship and better communication between school, outside professionals and families with the child at the centre, to work out the right strategies to support the individual child's needs.
Some of that may involve a 1-1 member of staff and training.
Unfortunately it is not something I have seen happen enough in ds's school - even with children with EHCP's.
OP - yes, have a conversation with school - ask them what they are doing to support your daughter in order for her to feel safe at school, around a child who is presenting with challenging behaviour towards her.

An EHCP doesn’t cover all the costs though, the school is meant to have a notional £6,000 which they have to spend first. It would appear that least 2 or 3 pupils in that class alone have EHCPs. The school won’t have a spare £18,000 hanging around just waiting to be spent for any possible pupils with EHCPs

I wouldn’t send my child if she wasn’t safe. Keep her off school until they can guarantee she’s safe.

You need to raise it as a safeguarding issue re your daughter's safety within school.

It is not up to you to solve the problem, it is up to school to assign someone to monitor his behaviour.

In the school I volunteer in, the LSAs who have been there a long time get 1 hour for lunch, anyone who joined in the last 7 years gets 30 minutes for lunch because the other 30 minutes are spent supervising those children who need support, whether eating, or for their behaviour.

Your daughter is saying she is getting hurt, report that to the school. Follow it up with what they have put in place to protect your child.

Obviously this does come down to money, but they need to staff their school to ensure everyone stays safe.

@activitythree

But every day she comes home saying the said boy is hitting her, pinching her, kicking, snatching things off her etc.*

Aibu to bring this up with the school?

No, of course not. Why is this a question?

The rest of the information about the child doing this is irrelevant. Your child is being hurt at school and they have a duty to protect her and ensure her safety.

This.

Don't get into the other child's situation.

Your dad is being hurt at school, school must make this stop.