Shit tips or genius life hacks that are fucking useless

[Stoppissingonmyheather]

I have just read the genius tips are the tops page of crap magazine and it really made me laugh.. Making useless tat out of pringle tubes and wrapping paper to clutter up the place aibu to ask you for your useless shit tips?

@HarrietSchulenberg

You need the Take A Shite FB page in your life. The "use a pitta bread as am emergency clutch bag" was one of my favourites.

Just checking, would a naan bread do? I’ve got peshwari in the cupboard!! 😂😂

A massive thank you to all who recommended the Take a Shite FB page. I've just spent the last 20 mins laughing like Muttley with tears streaming down my face! Just what I needed this week...

@sammylady37

Don’t forget to use sanitary towels as slippers or as insoles for shoes!

I've actually used knicker liners as insoles for shoes that I wore without socks! It really works to absorb foot-sweat. They need changing regularly, obvs

I dont have Facebook, can someone do some screenshot! I would love to see some of these!

[quote notanothertakeaway]Viz top tips

www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ALeKk02y_niEIxRRgSD0cq6I6wQhPuz-Gg:1615464467372&source=univ&tbm=isch&q=viz+top+tips&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjS9-WNmqjvAhU0QhUIHY3rClEQjJkEegQIBhAB&biw=1600&bih=789[/quote]
I used to love reading Viz Top Tips!

My favourite went something like this... "Don't spend £££ on new flooring. Glue carpet samples to the soles of your feet and get that new carpet feeling in every room."

Stop bread from drying out by keeping it in a bucket of water

If you are scared of heights, avoid climbing to the top of a set of ladders by turning them upside down. This way you will start at the top and always be climbing downwards.

Love top tips
Last yr I manage to get 2 tips published in different mags and made £50

@HarrietSchulenberg I don't know whether to thank you or not as this is yet another place to waste hours of my time

Does anyone remember the Viz Magazine top tips. Basically this sort of stuff. One I remember was cover your glasses (spectacles) with cling film so you could roller a ceiling without getting pain on them.

Sorry I hadn't read the whole thread. Of course you all remember Viz.

Take a Shite ! It's brilliant. I've just happened upon this particular gem.....Use an old video box as a substitute sponge bag.

It’s been mentioned already

Pitta bread clutch bag 😂😂😂

@HarrietSchulenberg

You need the Take A Shite FB page in your life. The "use a pitta bread as am emergency clutch bag" was one of my favourites.

You'd get mugged by pigeons!

That Take a Shit Facebook page!!! Fantastic!! Thanks :)

@StillCoughingandLaughing

On Super Scrimpers once, they suggested saving money on expensive sink unblocking fluid by cutting your dog’s old tennis ball in half and using it as a makeshift plunger.

Well, that was a complete write-off. For a start, I don’t even have a dog. Once I’d been to Battersea to rescue one, built a kennel, took it for all its vaccinations and had it neutered, taken our pet insurance and booked kennels for my next holiday, I’d already spent £1200 - and that’s without the tennis ball! Plus my sink had been blocked for three weeks! Wilko’s own brand sink unblocked is only £2.25! Talk about false economy. I was fuming.

sage advice right here ladies. Take note!

@StillCoughingandLaughing

On Super Scrimpers once, they suggested saving money on expensive sink unblocking fluid by cutting your dog’s old tennis ball in half and using it as a makeshift plunger.

Well, that was a complete write-off. For a start, I don’t even have a dog. Once I’d been to Battersea to rescue one, built a kennel, took it for all its vaccinations and had it neutered, taken our pet insurance and booked kennels for my next holiday, I’d already spent £1200 - and that’s without the tennis ball! Plus my sink had been blocked for three weeks! Wilko’s own brand sink unblocked is only £2.25! Talk about false economy. I was fuming.

Borrow someone's dog and take them for a walk-mine never go out without finding at least one tennis ball!

I remember one from years ago. Don't have a top to wear? Take a pair of tights, cut a hole in the gusset to shove your head through. Then trim the legs of the tights to the desired sleeve length. Hey presto - a fetching sheer top!

My favourite Viz top tip:

Don't waste money on expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object that you wish to view.

SHOPPERS: Take one grape to the till. It won't register on the low-tech, insensitive scales so you will get it for free. Repeat this procedure 100 times or so and you have yourself a free bunch of grapes.

Shoppers: Take one grape to the till. It won't register on the low-tech, insensitive scales so you will get it for free. Repeat this procedure 100 times or so and you have yourself a free bunch of grapes.

@RolyPolyLilBatFace

My favourite was the woman who couldn't find a hair fascinator on the shops for a wedding she was going to.

She hunted everywhere! Nothing in budget, nothing stood out, nothing in the right shade of purple. What on earth could she do?

That's right! She used one of those nylon shower puff things. It was perfect!

I remember that one! We always take trashy magazines camping; standard reading!

I love this thread and Take a Shite

One I recall (& laughed about with a friend) was for if you wanted a new top to wear at Xmas/New Year. ^Simply staple quality street sweet wrappers to a vest top and you’ll be ready for a sparkly night out.^

Every xmas I am tempted to make one as a gag gift for my friend.. but I’m afraid she may have forgotten about this tip and think I’ve lost the plot!

Another Viz one.. save money on first class stamps by using a 2nd class one and posting your letter earlier...

@Sparklesocks

One of my faves - yummy!

Is this serious? 😂😂😂

@Sparklesocks

One of my faves - yummy!

If Gemma from Ashton invites me for dinner, I'm busy 😂