Texts from ex girlfriend

[Marshallorchase]

Nc for this and not enabling voting as already think I am probably the unreasonable one here.
For context, dh and I have been married 5 years and together 12, we have 2 dc, the youngest is 3months.
Last night dh received a text at 11pm (why so late?) from an old girlfriend, his first love that he dated over 30 years ago now. It was a short message, just asking how he was and had 2 kisses at the end. He showed me first thing this morning as, coincidentally, he had mentioned her the other day and he was surprised to hear from her. I asked him if he was going to reply. I wish I hadn't. Jealousy is my worst trait. It doesn't show often but when it does I dont think as rationally as I should. He said he was as it was like catching up with an old friend, that she checks in every 10 years or so.
I dont think he should message her back. I wouldn't message any of my ex partners our of respect for DH. I dont think anything untoward is happening but we are so tired with the new baby and toddler and I dont have much energy past a quick hug and a chat right now. I don't want him to think the grass is greener.
Also, it's been years, what could they have in common now? It's not like catching up with a mate at the pub, it's talking to someone you were once intimate with. I know I'm showing my ugly flaws here, I'm overthinking and showing some insecurities but would you be ok with it?

@Shahira78

I'm going against the grain here and feel this is a bit weird. What is it she would like? What is it she wants to know? She reminses about them, wants to stay in his life. Wants him to think about her. I dont think you're being unreasonable at all. I would be very pissed off. You are YANBU at all. You are just being wise and others perhaps being a little naive. I wouldn't dream of contacting my ex every 10 years, unless I felt a little insecure and needed to be in his life and know his business. It's that simple.

I think it's a little weird too, but honestly I'd just feel a bit sad for her. It's like she has to make sure he remembers her, thinks of herself as important enough that she must be thought of by him and reminds him about her.

If they were in regular contact, then wouldn't be so weird, but every 10 years is literally her just wanting an ego boost.

Just pity her op. She's a bit sad that she must be remembered by her first love from decades ago and want to be on his mind still, when she knows he has a wife.

@ClarkeGriffin I dont know if she does know that we are married, actually. I'm not even sure DH would have brought me up in conv when he last bumped into her (we would have been together about a year, maybe) he is very private in that respect.

[quote DropDTuning]**@maddy68* Really? I'm in contact with loads of my ex's. It's nice to catch up with old friends (which is what they are*

Do you define 'friend' as someone who has had an orgasm inside your body, then?[/quote]
that was hilarious!

[quote DropDTuning]**@maddy68* Really? I'm in contact with loads of my ex's. It's nice to catch up with old friends (which is what they are*

Do you define 'friend' as someone who has had an orgasm inside your body, then?[/quote]
Clearly not as high maintenance as some 🙄

I'm not even sure DH would have brought me up in conv when he last bumped into her (we would have been together about a year, maybe) he is very private in that respect.

too private to mention he's married

glad you sorted it out OP 🌺