AIBU to get son’s hair cut

[fedupslummymummy]

I have an autistic DS who is 17. He has a huge sensory issue with hair and not being able to get his hair cut is distressing him immensely, so much that he’s starting to pull his hair out in clumps. He is now hugely self-conscious and wears a hat full time. He’s also very anxious about going back to college this week as he knows people will comment.
For background info he won’t let me anywhere near his hair...I clippered it for him during lockdown 1 and he was traumatised both by my inept barbering skills and the feel of my ancient clippers on his head.
A good friend is a hairdresser. Hearing his plight she has offered to come round and try and salvage his hair. I appreciate it’s at huge personal cost and I’m immensely grateful.
I mentioned it to my parents...DM is aghast as “it’s against the law and he needs to learn to wait”. DF is a bit more pragmatic and says I need to take a common sense approach and do what I think best. So WWYD??

Get her round. Get her round today.

People may comment if he turns up at college with perfectly neat hair.

The support bubble option may be an available if not used already?

I would argue this falls under: You can also meet with another person, including inside someone’s home, where necessary to provide care or assistance for disabled or vulnerable people.

If he is genuinely in distress about it then I would argue he can seek help.

All my DC's have some kind neurological issue so if it were one of mine, and your D's is happy for her to do it, then I would. It will just take away one bit of stress/anxiety away. X

People are allowed to help vulnerable people and those at risk.
I think this would be fine - can your DS wear a mask? Could it be done in the garden?

@peak2021

People may comment if he turns up at college with perfectly neat hair.

The support bubble option may be an available if not used already?

So what if they do? At worst it’s a few whispers. I doubt anyone is going to be dialling 999.

Yes as ds is in distress, and you are lucky enough to know a hairdresser. Definitely do it.

@StillCoughingandLaughing I had not thought of the personal care option and a diagnosed condition I think comes into that, even though I would never call autism a disability.

Do it. Poor buggers pulling his hair out. Mine also has issues, luckily he's fine with his stepdad doing it with his clippers or I would have got someone in.

Everyone wear masks. Outdoors if weather permits

@Seeline

People are allowed to help vulnerable people and those at risk. I think this would be fine - can your DS wear a mask? Could it be done in the garden?

It could definitely be done in the garden, DS won’t wear a mask but my friend will wear PPE.

Absolutely get your friend around, no issue at all. I am saddened that your DM can't understand why this is so important.

@MuddleMoo

I would argue this falls under: You can also meet with another person, including inside someone’s home, where necessary to provide care or assistance for disabled or vulnerable people.

If he is genuinely in distress about it then I would argue he can seek help.

Yes, this.

I assume your DM doesn’t understand disability then.

Get your friend round. From today you can meant with one other person outdoors and I believe two can accompany someone with a disability - it’s legal if she does it in the garden if you want to keep everyone happy. However - stuff the rules, your son is distressed.

Thank you all for your supportive comments. She’s coming round today. DS is over the moon.

It's OK to meet someone outside from today. It's also OK to helping someone who is vulnerable. This is a major issue for him, therefore it's a welfare matter and permitted in law.

I'd crack on, and ignore any issue a.

I would definitely do this and I'm not a rule breaker.

I am really pleased that you will be going ahead. I can't see why anyone wouldn't think it is reasonable. I hope your son is happy with his haircut.

I agree with MuddleMoo, I think it's permitted.

If she has cordless clippers you could mitigate the risk further by getting her to cut his hair outside in the garden (if you have one)?

Hope you manage to get it sorted for him.

Sorry for some reason the page hadn't refreshed and now I realise I repeated what lots had already said.
Glad you're going ahead!

It will help his transition back to College immensely and clearly has impacted on his mental health. Have a great day.

Good for you!!

I imagine this would fall under care for disabled and vulnerable people, it’s not like you’re doing it so he looks pretty. He needs this done for his sensory issues, you’ve made the right decision OP.

Sounds like a welfare visit rather than just a haircut. She would be providing assistance to a vulnerable person.

Oh I really feel for you. My autistic son is the same. We just do it with the clippers but he likes that.

You definitely should let the hairdresser cut it. Your poor boy, I can’t imagine how he’s feeling. Unless you actually live with this it’s hard to imagine how distressing it is for the person. Xx