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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Day off school on birthday?

553 replies

Givemeabreak88 · 06/03/2021 09:36

What are your thoughts on giving a child the day off school on their birthday? If they are asking for the day off..

OP posts:
Newkitchen123 · 06/03/2021 11:10

@Givemeabreak88

Yep her birthday is in January, she books it in advance as says it’s a family members wedding.
Not buying this. A wedding? Every year? I'm a teacher. Not a chance would this work.
RedcurrantPuff · 06/03/2021 11:11

No I wouldn’t.

My eldest has never been at school on his birthday as it’s in the holidays. My youngest’s isn’t so he goes to school. In primary school it was fun anyway, they got a fuss made of them and happy birthday sung to them in the lunch hall so he liked going, my eldest felt hard done by that he never had the experience!

Derrymum123 · 06/03/2021 11:11

I let my daughter have her birthday off every year, but it is Christmas Day.

Chanandlerbong01 · 06/03/2021 11:11

Home schooling has made me realise how little they actually do in a day.

Home schooling covers significantly less than a normal school day - hence the panic over catching kids up!

rosegoldwatcher · 06/03/2021 11:12

This habit seems to be a tradition in my sister's family.

My (now adult) elder son was aware of this and several times, in his childhood, asked for the day off school on his birthday. We always refused, not least because we were both school teachers.
The same son was also envious of classmates whose parents regularly took them out of school for the family holiday. "Why can't we do that Mum?" "Because Dad and I have to be in school during term time son!"

He is now in his late 20s and, before furlough, booked the day off work on his birthday every year!

RedcurrantPuff · 06/03/2021 11:14

My birthday is May so it was always in exam season when, more than once did I have to spend my birthday studying and/or sitting exams!

Hopeisnotastrategy · 06/03/2021 11:14

@Hopdathelf

What a sad thread. Way to instil good values and work ethic OP.
This.

Schools and teachers have had more than enough disruption to deal with over the last twelve months, and there will be plenty going forwards for a while yet. Everybody should be pulling together to try and get back to normal, not adding further to the teachers's burdens. What if everybody did this? There would constantly be a child having to be brought up to speed and disrupting the class progress. Not good.

iMatter · 06/03/2021 11:15

Ridiculous

RedcurrantPuff · 06/03/2021 11:16

@Dutchesss

For those saying no, would you go to work on your birthday or book the day off? I'm lucky both my children's birthdays fall in the summer holidays so I haven't had to think about it.
My work gives us the day off for our birthdays, I would either work or take leave otherwise. I wouldn’t just have a random unauthorised day off.
RedcurrantPuff · 06/03/2021 11:20

@SnowyBranches

My birthday is late May, so - shock horror - I have had exams on my birthday, GCSEs, A Levels, finals...There wouldn’t have been any getting around that, so if I had been brought up to believe my birthday was sacrosanct and I should remember it and keep it holy, I would have been in for an upsetting shock.
Snap!

It’s quite good now though as it’s often around the holiday weekend so (in normal times) I take a few days off to make a nice break of it. Grin

Lollipop1234 · 06/03/2021 11:20

@Givemeabreak88 are you going to lie to school to get the day off or ask for permission?

Children of that age are pretty honest and are likely to go in an tell everyone what they’ve done! If you’re saying he’s ill when he isn’t, it’s not a great message to send to him is it?

And then, what are you going to do for the day....it’s not like there’s much to do at the moment! It’d be easier to have a special breakfast and tea surely?

sherrystrull · 06/03/2021 11:20

My dc's birthday always falls in a holiday. He'd love to celebrate at school. Everyone's on holiday for his birthday! He's jealous of my other dc who always has their birthday at school.

If sweets aren't allowed just stand on the pavement and hand out.

Flowerlane · 06/03/2021 11:21

@Hopdathelf I disagree. My brother and I never went to school on our birthdays and we have good work ethics. I at one point had 3 jobs at once when I was younger as did my brother. We have never been out of work and have good jobs. One day off a year for our birthdays didn’t do us no harm and we always remember them birthdays and have lovely memories of our special day. We now both let our children have their birthdays off.

Seeming as a vast majority don’t let their children have their birthdays off I can’t see how you think it affects work ethic, there is no statistics or evidence to back that statement up.

NameChangedForThisFeb21 · 06/03/2021 11:26

If sweets aren't allowed just stand on the pavement and hand out.

Seriously? In a pandemic you think we should be standing outside a school handing out food? How sensible do you think that advice is? Do you understand that school have reasons (allergies, anaphylaxis) for not wanting sweets and other foods handed out and they are asking parents to comply with strict rules around drop off and pick up to keep schools open right now? I really despair when this is the mindset of some parents.

Womencanlift · 06/03/2021 11:27

@therealteamdebbie

It's so depressing to see how people have abused the school place system and how others children have been penalised because of it. It really shows a nasty side of society.
I think you are the nasty one. Ignoring the OP’s comments that she is not taking a key worker space to satisfy your own agenda

Post and poster have been reported

FreddyTheFlute · 06/03/2021 11:29

Op it read like you have a poor attitude towards school and your child is starting to pick up on this. PP’s are correct in that this could lead to school refusal. Also, you sent him in when he could have stayed at home for the past two months despite disliking school. Why did you decide to and him in throughout, but allowing him to stay off when he asks right decision?

Teens dont wake up one morning suddenly become impossible to handle. A lack of effective parenting just becomes harder to hide.

Op, your child was in school because he is classed as a vulnerable child. He is at risk of not achieving as it is. Allowing him to stay off school when he chooses is a very rocky path to put him on for his future.

sherrystrull · 06/03/2021 11:32

@NameChangedForThisFeb21

Seriously? Have a bottle of hand sanitiser and a bag of bagged haribo. Parents choose if they take a bag knowing what allergies their children have? Offer to children in child's class.

They can sanitise first and quarantine at home.

There's absolutely no need to be so rude. People are capable of organising perfectly safe experiences to bring a tiny bit of joy to their children's life Hmm

Awalkintime · 06/03/2021 11:32

Only if your child's teacher can do the same on their own birthday and their kids birthdays too.

RevolvingPivot · 06/03/2021 11:33

Luckily both my kids birthdays are in the holidays. I'd hate for one to be at school and not the other.

For the people who say end of May is exam season my dd is end of May.

DavidsSchitt · 06/03/2021 11:33

"One day off a year for our birthdays didn’t do us no harm and we always remember them birthdays and have lovely memories of our special day"

How are your memories of the years schools were closed at a moments notice several times and you weren't able to socialise with family and friends?

It's not even remotely comparable Confused

mamatocaptainchaos · 06/03/2021 11:35

Yeah why not.

ThanksItHasPockets · 06/03/2021 11:36

I wouldn't, but if you do, don't lie - and for goodness' sake don't tell your child to lie. There are so many parents who encourage their children to tell little fibs - about their age to get in to a theme park on a cheaper ticket, or about where they were on Friday when their parent claimed they were sick - and then genuinely wonder why their teens are able to lie so easily and naturally to them later.

Flowerlane · 06/03/2021 11:38

@DavidsSchitt I said my memories from my childhood not my children’s memories.

I think it’s very obvious their memories are going to be different it has been a horrible year for everyone all children have suffered during the last year. Still doesn’t erase their past birthday memories or the ones we still get to make.

Inthevirtualwaitingroom · 06/03/2021 11:39

dont do it, imo, it is unhelpful, most kids enjoy their birthday so much at school.

JohnMiddleNameRedactedSwanson · 06/03/2021 11:39

@RevolvingPivot

Luckily both my kids birthdays are in the holidays. I'd hate for one to be at school and not the other.

For the people who say end of May is exam season my dd is end of May.

In years when Pentecost is late and the Whit bank holiday is 1 June, exams take place in late May (in England and Wales at least).