What does "posh" mean to you?

[FlatteredFool]

What is it about someone that would make you describe them as posh? I would think it's relative and depends on how much you assign class to people but I find it interesting.

I've been called posh a few times and it bugs me because I'm not posh at all. What does posh even mean? Money? Privately educated? Big house? Second home? Plummy accent? High flying career? Having friends in high places? Owning horses? Private jet? Those things just say to me that someone has plenty of money. None of them apply to me and the people I know that do have some of those things aren't posh to me either. Is "posh" the opposite of "common" ( I know how mumsnet hates that term, sorry) or is it something that can't be pinpointed exactly?

It's all relative.
I'd think posh was a range of old money, landed gentry, asset rich (but maybe not cash rich like your very flashy bling look at me types), tend to be quite confident in themselves so would happily have a well used land rover than a new white spotless 4x4.

For some of my students 'posh' is any experience that isn't their experience or the experience of their immediate family. One student said I was posh because I said I dressed DC in jumpers and dungarees as a baby, but dressing a baby in designer clothing is normal and not posh. 🤷‍♀️ .

When you even buy your knickers from Boden.

I must admit, I didn't actually know Boden did knickers I like their clothes, mainly dresses and jumpers but have never actually looked that closely. Will now!

Something that has become clear after reading all the posts is that there are exceptions to every rule.

To me this kind of posh is insufferable!

I think the dc had Boden pants and socks. Probably 2nd hand. Super quality I recall. As were the hand me down jimjams.

I can't believe how many people look down on the upper classes making sweeping statements like "they don't treat people with kindness"

We are not posh but lead a very middle class lifestyle in a rural area. There is a big difference between my family that lead a comfortable life but worked up to get there verses the "posh" people around us.

They are beautifully softly spoken, all ride. Many have tennis courts and all have land in old country residences. All children are privately educated.

What is noticeable is the manners and behaviour. There is no swearing, shouting, loud music, brash behaviour. I think of being in our local pub and there being a soft din of chatter. If you go in a pub in a less posh area you hear loud voices, raucous laughter etc.

@Countrygirl2021

I can't believe how many people look down on the upper classes making sweeping statements like "they don't treat people with kindness"

We are not posh but lead a very middle class lifestyle in a rural area. There is a big difference between my family that lead a comfortable life but worked up to get there verses the "posh" people around us.

They are beautifully softly spoken, all ride. Many have tennis courts and all have land in old country residences. All children are privately educated.

What is noticeable is the manners and behaviour. There is no swearing, shouting, loud music, brash behaviour. I think of being in our local pub and there being a soft din of chatter. If you go in a pub in a less posh area you hear loud voices, raucous laughter etc.

Yes, the Buller is well known for its perfect manners, soft-spokenness and lack of ‘brash behaviour.’

@Countrygirl2021

I can't believe how many people look down on the upper classes making sweeping statements like "they don't treat people with kindness"

We are not posh but lead a very middle class lifestyle in a rural area. There is a big difference between my family that lead a comfortable life but worked up to get there verses the "posh" people around us.

They are beautifully softly spoken, all ride. Many have tennis courts and all have land in old country residences. All children are privately educated.

What is noticeable is the manners and behaviour. There is no swearing, shouting, loud music, brash behaviour. I think of being in our local pub and there being a soft din of chatter. If you go in a pub in a less posh area you hear loud voices, raucous laughter etc.

How dare people laugh raucously. Scumbags.

"I'd consider anyone who shops at Waitrose as 'trying to be posh' lol"

Really? I shop at Waitrose. I'm not considered posh at all. But..... I do not do a full shop there. No way. I buy 3-6 items when I usually there. I love their organic range.

@Emeraldshamrock

I find most teachers I've met throughout the years posh, lovely people with well spoken accents. Giles and Mary from gogglebox too.

You haven't met many teachers then

@Wondermule

People that live in cottages with thatched roofs, pronounce lasagne as ‘luh-sarn-yuh’, drive an old Ford covered in dog hair and find a trip to B&M ‘fun’.

This might be me not understanding phonetic spellings, but how else do you pronounce lasagne? La-sag-nee?

I say luh-zarn-yuh in my very not-posh Doncaster accent, I have never heard anyone pronounce it any different? I know Americans pronounce it Luh-SON-ya, but I haven’t heard anyone in the UK say it that way.

I tend to think of Posh with someone who speaks very very well.

I was speaking to a woman a couple of weeks ago and I was like "Wow, you are very eloquent". Honestly, I have never met someone who speaks so eloquently. It was like I was speaking to the queen.

[quote SugarfreeBlitz]I must admit, I didn't actually know Boden did knickers I like their clothes, mainly dresses and jumpers but have never actually looked that closely. Will now!

Something that has become clear after reading all the posts is that there are exceptions to every rule.

To me this kind of posh is insufferable! [/quote]
I loved that show!!! I was only a young girl and used to watch it with my dad. Sigh... this is what nostalgia does.

@intheshedyes

"I'd consider anyone who shops at Waitrose as 'trying to be posh' lol"

Really? I shop at Waitrose. I'm not considered posh at all. But..... I do not do a full shop there. No way. I buy 3-6 items when I usually there. I love their organic range.

Posh people don't shop, silly. Somebody else buys ingredients and delivers them to the cook. Do posh people know about supernarkets?

@Changechangychange "luh-SAN-yuh" is how I pronounce it.

Old money, people who wear holey old clothes and live in a wreck that’s been in the family for generations and is falling apart. Eccentric. Not really knowing about fashion, celebrities, popular culture etc. Being sent away to school.
People who have the confidence to not give a shit what others think. The “keeping up with the joneses” mindset is the opposite of posh.

We are friendly with a titled gentleman - he is our neighbour and the poshest person I know. The thing that stands out to me about him most is how he is completely comfortable in his own skin - he’s always has something interesting to say and doesn’t make small talk. And he is exactly the same whether talking to a peer or his cleaner (oh, and he had a governess before he went to boarding school - and wears scruffy clothes!)

@intheshedyes

I tend to think of Posh with someone who speaks very very well.

I was speaking to a woman a couple of weeks ago and I was like "Wow, you are very eloquent". Honestly, I have never met someone who speaks so eloquently. It was like I was speaking to the queen.

But is the queen ‘eloquent’? We’ve only ever heard her utter the scripted-by-a-team-of-other-people banalities of the Christmas Day speech or the opening of parliament. Nor does one get the impression that she is holding back a stream of witty, articulate thoughts...?

I would think it's relative and depends on how much you assign class to people but I find it interesting.

As predictible on MN a thread fills up with people who self associate with a certain class pretending class isn't a thing, whilst also being offended at being associated with said class.

MN is the embodiment of Orwell speaking of the left leaning, it bubbles along in various threads and then comes out as full on working class routes when any election comes along.

It is why MN has the wider internet reputation as it does.

@Changechangychange I pronounce all of the vowels in lasagna the same. Like in spaghetti or Santa.

Posh is a very aspirational term. The only old money family I knew were constantly guffawing about how terribly expensive everything was, the mother would rummage through charity shops for wool jumpers she could unravel and knit new ones with. They were very asset rich but constantly pleaded poverty, it was most odd. They had very eccentric pastimes too, such as washing algae off rocks and boulders in their stream. They also wore a gilet at all times and oversized jeans and trousers before they became fashionable.

Posh is when you go private
Your parents give you a place or a deposit
Earning stacks of Monet isn’t necessarily the reason that you work
You have a wine stash
You will get an inheritance
Someone in your family owns a pile
You have a ridiculous name like Rory, Henrietta, Rupert or Boo
You are horsey

@intheshedyes I used to love it too (and it still makes me smile) so even though I complain that Hyacinth is annoyingly posh I think she's hilarious, especially when she falls in a bush or in water

Talking about posh voices makes me think of someone who said "Use your inside voice dear" (Come to think of it, that might have been Hyacinth too haha)

They also wore a gilet at all times

This is true 🤣

Old money, going back several generations. Not necessarily cash rich though, some of the poshest people I've met have been quite skint when it comes to ready money.

A hereditary title in the lineage.

Staff.

Old houses, old cars, old clothes, old furniture, old art, old books. Old gundogs and old guns!

Male children going to the same public school for a few generations, usually followed by Oxbridge or the Royal Ag. Art college for the eccentric ones, army for the thickos. These days, I would expect a decent public school for the girls, too, but in my day (I'm 65) a good day school was considered adequate for daughters.

A house in town (or a flat, times are hard for the gentry) and a house in the country.

And that air of utterly assured confidence and being at ease in any situation.

So do you think “posh” people are all snobs? Because honestly it sounds as though you have an enormous chip on your shoulder

I agree. Two of the poshest people I have ever met (a viscount and the son of a marquis) weren't snobby at all, but very down to earth, had lovely manners and were charming and polite to everyone.

"Posh" people would never use that term. They would describe someone as "smart".