What does "posh" mean to you?

[FlatteredFool]

What is it about someone that would make you describe them as posh? I would think it's relative and depends on how much you assign class to people but I find it interesting.

I've been called posh a few times and it bugs me because I'm not posh at all. What does posh even mean? Money? Privately educated? Big house? Second home? Plummy accent? High flying career? Having friends in high places? Owning horses? Private jet? Those things just say to me that someone has plenty of money. None of them apply to me and the people I know that do have some of those things aren't posh to me either. Is "posh" the opposite of "common" ( I know how mumsnet hates that term, sorry) or is it something that can't be pinpointed exactly?

I have a friend who went to boarding school, family spent summers in Kenya and had property in the country, Edinburgh and London.

Posh to me means your parents paid for you to go to a private school. Very posh if it was a boarding school.

I have friends from all walks of life and many different cultures. None of us were "privately educated" . Lots of us went to university, but all from ordinary state schools that were far from posh.

@theonlywayisup33

I would only say aristocratic families and as a pp said, the landed gentry.

Agree, old money. Hunters and a green Range Rover.

Old money and aristocratic families. Well spoken, generations in private school.

But posh people don't use the word posh, they use Smart. So only the middle classes call people posh. Apparently.

Non-local accent was enough to brand me as posh throughout my childhood

@imamearcat

I think it just depends on the situation could be all off those things, or none. It's just an adjective.

My 5yo seems to be developing an accent which is much more 'correct' than my northern one so I'll sometimes say 'you sound posh!' Doesn't mean she is posh!

All relative as well, I mean the queen is definitely posh! Varies where the boundaries lie below that.

No such thing as a 'correct accent', your northern accent is as good as any!

It’s subjective. I used to be called “posh” at my local comp because I didn’t have a broad Somerset accent and didnt shag plumbers in fields after the pubs kicked out.

Such a meaningless term as it's very subjective. To my school mum friend I'm apparently posh because: my parents worked in professional occupations (father degree educated), grew up having music lessons, went to university myself and now work in a professional occupation, also have a fairly broad general knowledge including art, history, geography. Apparently it doesnt matter that I went to the local comp, had rubbish clothes, watched football a lot.

To me DH seems "posh" because on both sides of his family there is a level of wealth, lifestyle & education going back several generations eg private education, extensive travel, very well spoken. But mostly it's that all his relatives live in a sort of bubble where absolutely everyone in one's social circles is exceptionally well off and highly educated and went to one of a narrow group of schools.

I grew up on a council estate and was raised by a single father but still I am accused of being posh. My mum’s side of the family are quite posh and my sister and I certainly have their accent so maybe that’s all people mean? I like nice things (who doesn’t) and was always raised to appreciate poetry, literature, music etc, I don’t know if that’s it?

Good manners, RP and using no “lazy” slang (“like” used inappropriately, starting an answer with “So”, for example), eat at a dining table using the correct cutlery, polite to sales assistants, wearing appropriate clothes (no pyjamas outside the house, good quality/tasteful clothing, dress for the occasion), minimal fakery (false nails/eyelashes Etc. Are OK if not over-done)
Often achieved without money, although money does help!

I think it's often used when people are jealous of you in any way , so but may be something you have, it may be that they perceive people to treat v you better, it may be your self confidence

Posh people don’t talk about it or analyse it.

I think of posh people as having large estates in the country, driving a land rover, going shooting on weekends. Keeps lots of horses and dogs. Houses full of dusty old antiques. They have a 'music room' and call their evening meal supper. Men wearing those sort of khaki green trousers with wellies, check shirt, body warmer and flat cap. Women quite similar actually That 'rah' accent. Kids go to private/boarding school and then have a gap yah in Africah. Oh and they all drink too much. Sounds like fun tbh

Polo Players: Whoever has the oldest, crappiest looking horse box, will contain the best quality polo ponies on the field and owner with a title
Eventers: whoever has the most expensive luxury horse box, it will contain a possibly average event horse and the poshest person on the field
Show Jumpers: they all have nice lorries, good quality horses and none of them are very posh.

People that live in cottages with thatched roofs, pronounce lasagne as ‘luh-sarn-yuh’

As opposed to luh-san-yuh? Isn’t that just regional? Like bath vs barth, path vs parth etc?

Knowledge of art, music, literature, history that they've picked up by osmosis

This is what I think of as posh - that kind of culture that people seem to absorb by growing up around old money. The type of people who can quote classic literature the same way my family quotes Gavin and Stacey or Friends.

polite to sales assistants

That’s not posh, that’s just decent.

I once went to a training day put on by a tenants union.
Most people there were dressed out of Primark or (in the case of students) how you'd expect a lefty student to dress.
One guy was wearing cordoroy trousers, brown leather shoes, tweed jacket and a very expensive haircut.
I said to DH "I bet if we looked in Debretts, his outfit would be in there"
When we got home, I did and it was!
But it was the "country outfit" which confused me because the training had taken place in City.
Then I realised..... That was him dressing down

I think it is background and education as mentioned. But also an inherent understanding of how to behave in different settings and circumstances, and confidence that you belong there. True understanding of etiquette, as well as appreciation that part of good manners is making others feel comfortable. So not shaming people for not using the right knife, for example.

Ideally by not necessarily putting people in positions like that in the first place

Joanna Lumley

It's all in the vowels darling.

Isn't luh-sarn-yuh pronounced la- san- ya?

Country posh is definitely old money, wellies, gilets, Labradors or spaniels, shooting, rugby, tweed, Country Life magazine, voting Conservative, boarding school, no regional accent.

There's also a sort of North London Elite posh which is Waitrose, quinoa, academic private day school, cockapoo.

I don't think wealthy, big house automatically makes you posh. My old boss was a self made millionaire and not posh at all!

"Posh" to me is aristocratic, old money types.

As a child it meant having a front door that opened into a hallway rather than a living room and having a utility room.

Now I think it goes a bit further than that

Posh to me is those who you can tell have been brought up with money. So you can tell they have never struggled or wanted for anything and they have a general air of confidence/contentedness about them.

Myself & DH are wealthy now but we didn’t grow up wealthy and aren’t posh in my view so it’s not money you have now people it’s money all along from birth people