What does "posh" mean to you?

[FlatteredFool]

What is it about someone that would make you describe them as posh? I would think it's relative and depends on how much you assign class to people but I find it interesting.

I've been called posh a few times and it bugs me because I'm not posh at all. What does posh even mean? Money? Privately educated? Big house? Second home? Plummy accent? High flying career? Having friends in high places? Owning horses? Private jet? Those things just say to me that someone has plenty of money. None of them apply to me and the people I know that do have some of those things aren't posh to me either. Is "posh" the opposite of "common" ( I know how mumsnet hates that term, sorry) or is it something that can't be pinpointed exactly?

@NovemberR

Posh to me means your parents paid for you to go to a private school. Very posh if it was a boarding school.

I have friends from all walks of life and many different cultures. None of us were "privately educated" . Lots of us went to university, but all from ordinary state schools that were far from posh.

"Private school" can mean anything from a genuine public school to a recently-founded exam factory. The former is "posh", the latter may well not be.

My SIL's kids go to private school. Their dad is a barely-literate builder who struggles with words of 3 or more syllables, but has made a few mill from developing properties in the Surrey commuter belt. Both SIL and her husband grew up on a really rough council estate, went to the local comp, and ended their education at 16. They think people who enjoy classical music, buy actual paintings or go to the theatre are "posh".

They have money, but are nowhere near posh. They're nouveau riche and, at best, lower middle-class. A judgey middle-class person would regard them as vulgar. Their kids will never be posh, despite having been sent to private school.

@Averyyounggrandmaofsix

Boris Johnson is posh, says it all really.

I don't think of him as posh, more wealthy upper-middle. There's no old money, country estate or title in the family afaik.

Of course, going to Eton bestows a veneer of poshness, but it's only skin deep.

They have money, but are nowhere near posh. They're nouveau riche and, at best, lower middle-class. A judgey middle-class person would regard them as vulgar. Their kids will never be posh, despite having been sent to private school.

Hate to burst your rather sneery bubble, but don't be so sure. If the children are clever and likeable, they'll end up with patrician accents, good degrees and all the connections needed to swim into a comfortable upper-middle-class milieu.

Both SIL and her husband grew up on a really rough council estate, went to the local comp, and ended their education at 16.

What’s the relationship is it your brother’s sister? Are they similar?

I’ve never thought it an issue that a mix go to private school. The dc are like their friends and who needs everyone to have same background.

HRTFT....

Posh:

Nice accent.
Wide vocabulary
Always looks effortlessly gorgeous.
Nice clothes
Nice car
Immaculate house
They don’t have to be rich as such, just have a comfortable life where money isn’t even a concern.
Clever and polite children.
An owner of a fancy dog.

I wish I was posh

Always looks effortlessly gorgeous.
Nice clothes
Nice car
Immaculate house

None of these are reliable class signifiers

They have money, but are nowhere near posh. They're nouveau riche and, at best, lower middle-class. A judgey middle-class person would regard them as vulgar. Their kids will never be posh, despite having been sent to private school.

Wow, jealous much? They’ll be perfectly fine I’m sure, confident and assured to mix across a range of class backgrounds. No one with any actual class themselves will be going around pronouncing them ‘vulgar’.

• Always looks effortlessly gorgeous. Nice clothes Nice car Immaculate house

None of these are reliable class signifiers

It’s purely based on my own observations. I wasn’t speaking for society as a whole

The main thing that makes me think someone is posh is accent.

@Countrygirl2021

I can't believe how many people look down on the upper classes making sweeping statements like "they don't treat people with kindness"

We are not posh but lead a very middle class lifestyle in a rural area. There is a big difference between my family that lead a comfortable life but worked up to get there verses the "posh" people around us.

They are beautifully softly spoken, all ride. Many have tennis courts and all have land in old country residences. All children are privately educated.

What is noticeable is the manners and behaviour. There is no swearing, shouting, loud music, brash behaviour. I think of being in our local pub and there being a soft din of chatter. If you go in a pub in a less posh area you hear loud voices, raucous laughter etc.

I wasn't looking down on ALL posh people, just pointing out that they seem to get idolised on here as being as you describe.

Not all posho's are charming and down to earth just like not all 'less posh' people are 'raucous and loud'.

The fawning makes me nauseous!

There was a recent episode of Rich House Poor House where the rich family had become multi millionaires, but otherwise lacked qualifications. Despite the huge privilege they were born into, their dc (around 11 and 13) certainly hadn't been advantaged when it came to soft skills.

I was born working class as was my dh.
I moved as a child and due to nasty remarks at my new school about my accent I quickly worked on losing it.
Since I met my dh and all through life I am referred to as posh.
We are comfortably off, not wealthy, we live in a nice area and we know how to behave in public.
I can only assume it’s the way I speak, it’s not just accent though, it’s the way you speak, tone, vocabulary etc.
My dh’s family always teased me for saying actually, jolly, terribly and dreadfully. If you use words ending lly and have no accent then apparently you’re posh!

I was with a group of friends yesterday (Zoom) and I was telling them a tale about something that had happened at work and I said, “.....I can’t remember what my boss said ‘word for word’ but it was really rude.”

And my posh friend said,

“I’m always really bad at remembering things verbatim too.”

That’s why she’s posh and I’m not

@ThornAmongstRoses I don’t really understand why knowing the word verbatim makes someone posh? It’s a fairly standard word.

@Housewife2010 would they really say smart? Most ‘posh’ people in the public eye (for example the royals) are as thick as a plank. Or is it ‘smart’ for posh and ‘intelligent’ to signify having brains!

@ThornAmongstRoses I don’t really understand why knowing the word verbatim makes someone posh? It’s a fairly standard word.

Maybe it’s a regional thing because I can assure you, it’s not a fairly standard word where I am.

But like I said, I’m not posh.

Immaculate house

Definitely not this. Didn’t you see the picture of Princess Ann in her living room? It was definitely more lived in than immaculate!

As I said, we do say “posh”. It may be said somewhat ironically but there’s always someone posher.

The codewords change all the time .

Private schooling, red trousers on men, turning collars up on shirts

Housewife2010 would they really say smart? Most ‘posh’ people in the public eye (for example the royals) are as thick as a plank. Or is it ‘smart’ for posh and ‘intelligent’ to signify having brains

This is interesting Epiphany. Please can you name some other ‘posh’ people who are ‘thick as a plank’?
I thought describing people as ‘thick’ was looked down on on mn? Maybe it’s ok if they’re ‘posh’ or Brexiteers.

red trousers on men

Keeping an immaculate house is so far from posh.
It’s very Dubai.

What does "posh" mean to you?

People who wear gilets

I'm now wondering where I have heard "Use your inside voice dear!"

It could have been Hyacinth. I think inside voice is a good way of putting it anyway, not that I have ever used the term myself. I may do if I was a teacher though

The poster a while back who described a delightful old man who always had something to talk about and treated everyone the same is definitely how I see someone of class. They do say that how someone treats the waitress is a good indicator of how nice a person they are and this definitely lines up with that.

Good breeding is classless because there are some "posh" people who have been well bred and know how to treat others well regardless of their station in life. Whether they are moneyed or their family was, the breeding which they have recieved stands them in good stead to be a decent citizen, not an asshole. Being philanthropic comes easy to them, often.

Meanwhile there are fake-posh people who treat the waitress badly and are general assholes, boast about their "wealth", ignore anyone them deem as beneath them and are insecure enough to have to name drop about who they mix with and where they shop , be seen at the right places, let everyone know what they have bought. These are tiresome people!

Posh is not an accent. Anyone can have elecution. It means nothing and even the news readers do not have elecution anymore.

The posts saying that there’s a specific way of behaviour “low polite hum” vs “raucous laughter” just sound deluded. People are just people and irrespective of background (can’t believe this needs to be said) there’s a range of personalities and behaviours to be found like in any social strata.

I think that just because people “know” how they should behave or what knife to use, or that a low polite respectful hum should be emanating from their table, the only people that actually care about this are more the aspirational, judgemental climbers. Most people “above“ or “below“ that judgey group laugh at them being uptight and caring too much what other people think.

Always looks effortlessly gorgeous.
Nice clothes
Nice car
Immaculate house

That to me sounds like skilled blue collar working class families.

Over dressed, nails, eyebrows and hair all done up on ladies. Michael Kors handbag. Little boys with gelled hair. Little girls dressed as mini teebs. High gloss units in the kitchen and laminate floors. Everything done up beautifully to show they have achieved a level of success and money.