What does "posh" mean to you?

[FlatteredFool]

What is it about someone that would make you describe them as posh? I would think it's relative and depends on how much you assign class to people but I find it interesting.

I've been called posh a few times and it bugs me because I'm not posh at all. What does posh even mean? Money? Privately educated? Big house? Second home? Plummy accent? High flying career? Having friends in high places? Owning horses? Private jet? Those things just say to me that someone has plenty of money. None of them apply to me and the people I know that do have some of those things aren't posh to me either. Is "posh" the opposite of "common" ( I know how mumsnet hates that term, sorry) or is it something that can't be pinpointed exactly?

I always think people in detached homes,with dogs, and having a MC accent ,children at Uni and so on .But hang on! I have some of these and dont think Im at all "posh"!

Ok I see your point...
But there are different types of breeding and class.
I don't think it is classy to boast and name drop because it seems very insecure to have to compare yourself in that way.

I think anyone secure in their wealth, upbringing and class does not need to boast or name drop because they know who they are and do not need other's approval. Perhaps that's a better way of saying it.

quite @EpiphanySoul1

Many wealthy people I know are perfectly happy to wear "old clothes" and be seen in them, donate to charity without boasting or needing to tell people, don't need to tell the world where they shop and are philanthropic (without boasting about that either)

Some other wealthy people I know are extremely selfish, entitled, insecure and boastful. Their need to tell everyone if they did a good deed or shopped at a certain shop is rooted in insecurity and fear of what others will think. Not all "posh" people are equal!

Anyone who pronounces words and doesn't roar at their DC around here is considered posh.

@imamearcat

I'd consider anyone who shops at Waitrose as 'trying to be posh' lol. I mean why?

This is hilarious. Same reason anyone shops anywhere. Because it’s convenient and they stock the products I like. Their wine selection is definitely better than Tesco for example.

Haha, the people who need to tell everyone they shop at Waitrose and loiter there hoping to see "the Jones's"

I know many wealthy people who are not ashamed to shop at Aldi, feel no need to name drop or "be seen" - because they are secure in themselves.

I feel sorry for people who need this level of approval from others and who alienate others without realising it because of their (boring) need to impress.

I think its attitude, self confidence and an innate abiltity to know how to behave in any situation you find yourself in, I think this is learnt when a person has been raised by a family who value education above all else and decency to fellow man. It does not always signifiy a moneyed background but it does help. It takes money to be able to travel, to have the leisure time to study interests like Art and History, nothing to do with designer handbags and expensive cars etc.

My friend who is from East Europe has apparently very posh accent.
Lots of people commented on it. She lives in UK for 18 years.
She is coming from a poor background and had this accent since learning English in here.
She has no idea how come it sounds like it so posh but people who just met her think she is aristocratic and royal.
We are all baffled by it and often joke about it.

I had this conversation with my DC and we concluded that:

Rich = has a simple and a relative comparison of money so if I have £50 and you have £500 you are rich but if I have £5,000 and you have £500 then I am rich. Therefore it all depends on your social circle and area you live in rather than the absolute levels of money.

Posh = similarly is a relative comparison of how that money is spent. So if I shop at Aldi and you shop at Tesco's then you are posh but if I shop at Waitrose and you shop at Tesco's then I am posh. Same logic can be applied to clothing brands, cars, holidays etc. Note you can be rich and not posh except it's called either "down to earth" or a miserly / tight fisted.

Class - is an upbringing on how you respect yourself, others around you and your environment - or more simply manners. For example a rich man sat in a Lamborghini in a supermarket car park and emptying his rubbish out of the window for someone else to clean up is not classy. A poorer girl offering to pick up a young mum"s dropped shopping is classy. Equally thanking the waitress at a restaurant and eating in a calm civilised manner is classy whereas being rude to the waitress and ripping the food apart with your hands like some Neolithic cavewoman is not.

@thepeopleversuswork

I see the stealth boasters are out in force this morning...

Ha ha I noticed

To me it's proper aristocracy, older men in colourful cords and younger men with ruddy faces.

I'm working class and northern. Don't live in the north any more and my dc don't have a particular accent. When we go back they're often called posh and, oddly, people tend to assume they're older than they are. I think it's down to the accent.

@Notanotherhun

Saying wat TER and not Wat ER makes me sound posh. SatURday instead of SatERday. It's a sad state of affairs when people take pride in speaking really poorly and then getting defensive when corrected. It makes a really poor impression.

Try as I might, I cannot even imagine how you pronounce 'water' and 'Saturday'. Your descriptions are bizarre. I'm not sure you communicate as clearly as you boast you do.

there are different types of breeding and class Are you discussing horses or humans. 🤣
All these notions airs and graces are funny.
The song "common people" pulp comes to mind.

This.

I forgot you can also have faux rich, faux posh and faux class.

Faux rich is simply telling everyone you are fabulously wealthy when you are not.
Faux posh is buying designer clothes expensive hand bags and booking expensive holidays when you really can't afford them.
Faux class is where there is a veneer of manners but the mask will eventually drop such as shouting at a waitress or road rage at which point others around them will think whoah and see them for what they really are.

I was always picked on for being “posh” at school. But it was only because of my accent.

I was born and raised in a deprived area of a northern city and went to a local comprehensive school on the edge of a council estate. All my peers were local to the area for generations and I was one of only a handful of kids whose parents, grandparents etc weren’t born and bred within the same few streets in that segment of the city. My parents were both originally from the midlands and had met at this city’s university and then stayed when my dad got a local job.

Hence my accent and family background marked me always as an outsider and therefore “posh”.

My MIL owns a few horses, she is the farthest thing away from posh . My DH also went to private school, he definitely isn’t posh.

Posh is different to rich. Many rich people are ultimately working class people who either worked hard or got lucky. Posh to me is like Boris Johnson. They tend to be a bit scruffy and drive old bangers.

@Norwaydidnthappen

"Posh to me is like Boris Johnson. They tend to be a bit scruffy and drive old bangers."

Posh in that he has had a more expensive education and upbringing than most others. But refusing to acknowledge his child is most definitely not class.

I was always picked on for being “posh” at school. But it was only because of my accent
Similar here our house was bought in a very mixed area, went to the local tough rough school.
I had to be in or out. I choose in and replaced mam for ma.
You don't realise then how harshly the outside world will judge you for being wc as an adult.
My DC speak well they don't have the local accent. I'm worrying for DD starting secondary school but it is important she speaks well for adulthood.
I never want her to feel the shame of her roots like I had to feel a few times as an adult by other adults.

In my experience people get called posh when they have a plummy accent.

Things get called posh when they are expensive.

Posh isn’t quite the same as ‘upper class’ to me. To me it means better than average. Tesco’s Finest or M&S food is a bit posh. In the case of people, it’s mainly the accent tbh.

@Mara2021

"Knowledge of art, music, literature, history that they've picked up by osmosis (actually often a private school education)."

You seem to have such an idealised notion of private schools.

Most common and garden variety indies give their pupils barely a decent sniff of the above. The contingent who send their offspring there, tends to be very lower-middle to middle-middle class, thus bringing their 'toilets' and 'pardons' with them and as such, 'polluting' the rarefied atmosphere they so aspire to.

What you meant, I believe, are the public schools, such as Harrow, Eton, Charterhouse, Winchester and Rugby.

I do find it quite funny one of the people calling the @FlatteredFool posh is her daughter who if her mother is posh is also posh I would’ve thought...

Private schooling paid for by old money or professional jobs.
Knowledge of art, classical music, theatre, literature etc despite that not being what they studied. Although it does tend to be posh people who do degrees in music or history of art.
Owning antiques.

MIL says my accent is posh but what she means is southern... I grew up in Hampshire so I have a ‘modern RP’ accent like most people from my town (indeed probably most people from Hampshire, Berkshire, Surrey, Oxfordshire, Wiltshire, Buckinghamshire, Hertfordshire etc) regardless of class. So I don’t think accent is a particular marker in all areas.