What does "posh" mean to you?

[FlatteredFool]

What is it about someone that would make you describe them as posh? I would think it's relative and depends on how much you assign class to people but I find it interesting.

I've been called posh a few times and it bugs me because I'm not posh at all. What does posh even mean? Money? Privately educated? Big house? Second home? Plummy accent? High flying career? Having friends in high places? Owning horses? Private jet? Those things just say to me that someone has plenty of money. None of them apply to me and the people I know that do have some of those things aren't posh to me either. Is "posh" the opposite of "common" ( I know how mumsnet hates that term, sorry) or is it something that can't be pinpointed exactly?

@unlimiteddilutingjuice

I once went to a training day put on by a tenants union. Most people there were dressed out of Primark or (in the case of students) how you'd expect a lefty student to dress. One guy was wearing cordoroy trousers, brown leather shoes, tweed jacket and a very expensive haircut. I said to DH "I bet if we looked in Debretts, his outfit would be in there" When we got home, I did and it was! But it was the "country outfit" which confused me because the training had taken place in City. Then I realised..... That was him dressing down

What, Debretts has rebranded as the Littlewoods catalogue now?

I get called posh, which is fair comment as I have an RP accent and come from a family where we're the poor relations because we went to state schools. My grandparents employed servants at home and one set were colonial authorities which is quite odd to think about. My life now is not particularly posh as in upper class, but I still have some posh signifiers, mostly cultural choices 2hich I make because of my upbringing (plus having some spare cash to indulge them). Stuff like putting Radio 3 on a lot of the time because I was heavily inculcated into classical music and church music as a child, with piano lessons happening for me due to grandparents paying.

No idea
I think that having good manners is a sign of good parenting, it can carry you anywhere
I totally agree with @alongtimeagoandfaraway

Boris Johnson is posh, says it all really.

I would consider myself to be 'posh' and have been described as such by many people. I speak very well, use a wide vocabulary, my father was a professional, my mother never worked, we lived in a large house with grounds, I went to public school and I ultimately inherited quite a large sum of money from my parents. I would rather go to the ballet or an opera than a festival or pop concert, I know how to use my cutlery correctly, how to hold a conversation with anybody I meet and know all about the correct etiquette for the situation.

Posh to me means aristocracy. It’s a bit of an outdated concept really. Being well off, well educated and confident can be seen as posh by some.

Having worked in very high end hospitality. I would say posh were the landed gentry, old money families, the rt.hons etc.

These people often very down to Earth and not stuck up.

I hated working for the nouveau rich.

What, Debretts has rebranded as the Littlewoods catalogue now?

It has articles on the "correct" dress for various situations. To avoid embarrassment. Obviously didn't cover lefty training days!

taadaa!

70% Way of speaking - mostly accent, but also phrasing and vocab.
30% Dress sense and interests/hobbies.

Doesn't it come from the old Empire days - port outward, starboard home?

Anyway. I agree that it's relative.

Now to me posh is probably aristocracy and landed gentry. My DStepF went to boarding school at 7 and his ancestors owned chunks of Yorkshire. He had the accent that went with it but 40 years with us has knocked that out of him. He's definitely posh.

But where I grew up I was considered posh because my parents were teachers and listened to Radio 4.

DD has an Oxford offer and is worried about all the posh people there whereas to me at the same age she would have seemed really posh. Bizarre really.

@unlimiteddilutingjuice

taadaa!

I don’t know, though, I would think that someone who confused city vs country codes like that probably wasn’t from a ‘smart’ background himself — even Debretts covers ‘informal smart casual’ (specifying ‘smart, clean, dark-coloured jeans’ for men).

The men I’ve known who dressed in full-on ‘correct’ country attire in situations where it was not called for, have been aspirational — my childhood best friend’s father, who was from a WC background, made a lot of money, bought a huge house with grounds and promptly acquired an expensive outfit of tweed, Barbour, Hunter wellies and a chocolate lab. Having failed to understand it looked a bit mad because the house, while very big and old, had had a suburb grow up around it, and only retained a couple of acres of garden.

Or a couple of overseas graduate students who thought everyone was going to dress like this outdoors in the daytime at Oxford and/or were indulging their inner Brideshead Revisited.

It's more the snobby attitude that makes someone posh. Money definitely isn't the main factor though it helps. I suppose it's the "old" money thing but even then it is more about how you act. Generally whilst privileged and posh often run in tandem it's not always the case now eg look at footballers!

Or a supporter of Peterborough united

I see the stealth boasters are out in force this morning...

Depends on your starting point. I would say landed gentry are posh - the Honourables, and Dukes, Ladies, Earls. The ones who have massive country piles and can track their lines back to William the Conqueror.

But when I was a child at a not so great comprehensive, doing your homework and not telling the teacher to fuck off was "posh". Where I live now is solidly middle class and is referred to as a "posh" suburb.

It's all relative.

This is all very interesting, thank you for the replies. I'm still not sure what I consider posh. Maybe I just don't consider posh particularly.
I get called posh because I don't have a local accent. I don't have any particular accent at all but am Northern so don't put the letter r where there aren't any I shop at Waitrose but before lockdown mainly shopped at Tesco and nipped into the local Asda for some things. I like a properly laid out dinner table. I prefer to eat at the table and know what cutlery to use. I spent 3 years at private schools but my parents didn't pay. I went to university. 4 of them so have a degree and post-grad qualifications and although not working at the moment I have a professional career. Working class parents. Dad grew up without a bathroom and had an outside loo. Mum's parents gained wealth from hard work and stocks and shares. All very down to earth. We live somewhere that is considered posh but I still don't understand why because it's not.
Pp who mentioned Joanna Lumley-yes I agree about the vowels there. I have northern vowels but not very northern. Just not southern.

It’s not Port out, that’s an urban myth. The word first came out long before 1930s when it started being attributed to liners.

It’s not a word I’d use. It reminds me of Tory ‘ladies’ with handbags like the queen and ‘shoes off’ rules.

@whiteroseredrose

Doesn't it come from the old Empire days - port outward, starboard home?

Anyway. I agree that it's relative.

Now to me posh is probably aristocracy and landed gentry. My DStepF went to boarding school at 7 and his ancestors owned chunks of Yorkshire. He had the accent that went with it but 40 years with us has knocked that out of him. He's definitely posh.

But where I grew up I was considered posh because my parents were teachers and listened to Radio 4.

DD has an Oxford offer and is worried about all the posh people there whereas to me at the same age she would have seemed really posh. Bizarre really.

Tell your DD not to worry. I was someone who grew up with an outside toilet and an illiterate parent, and still had a ball at one of the ‘smartest’ colleges.

To me it's a lazy word. I generally assume that whoever is using it has a chip on their shoulder.

I see the stealth boasters are out in force this morning..

Yep! 😆

I remember after the Dominic West/Lily scandal seeing his wife in the papers. She looked like she was posh, very slim, big hair, bit scruffy & plainly dressed, playing the role of the doting wife.

To some, 'posh' is used as an insult. To others, it's an aspiration. My interpretation of posh is probably someone who is refined, well brought up, comfortably off with old money. Someone who doesn't commit faux pas regardless of which circles they mix in. Someone who is comfortable in anybody's company and can converse with all sorts of people. They'd just as happily scrub the loo to help a friend as take them out for champagne.
Then you get the obnoxiously posh who brag and boast and name drop and put people down. I don't think they tick the 'well brought up' criteria though.

@TaraR2020

Cultured, well educated (not necessarily clever). Understated wealth helps, but most of it comes down to those little social codes and rituals that those who aren't in the posh club will never truly get.

Yep. Codes and rituals

I was one of the posh kids at my school, and felt really embarrassed of our detached house, 2 cars, holiday abroad etc. However in reality I was middle class (lower middle class) in a working class area.
Going away to uni I encountered truly posh people for the first time in my life. I didn't know people like that really existed! You know, like the Jack Whitehall in Fresh Meat character. I was like 'im not posh at all!!'.
So its all relative i think.

@FlatteredFool I suppose I would wonder who is calling you posh or otherwise??? Is it your friends in a jokey manner? Or random people who meet you/see your fully laid table??

From what you said I would consider you very normal rather than posh. Having been to university is pretty standard these days - as in it’s not reserved for the ‘elites’