What does "posh" mean to you?

[FlatteredFool]

What is it about someone that would make you describe them as posh? I would think it's relative and depends on how much you assign class to people but I find it interesting.

I've been called posh a few times and it bugs me because I'm not posh at all. What does posh even mean? Money? Privately educated? Big house? Second home? Plummy accent? High flying career? Having friends in high places? Owning horses? Private jet? Those things just say to me that someone has plenty of money. None of them apply to me and the people I know that do have some of those things aren't posh to me either. Is "posh" the opposite of "common" ( I know how mumsnet hates that term, sorry) or is it something that can't be pinpointed exactly?

Posh to me means old money, privately educated, Tory-leanings.

Typical posh family would be very scruffy in appearance, drive a filthy old Land Rover, have a handful of privately educated sons who come across as sweet and a bit dim but are happy to be ruthless if they get something from it, daughters who know how to blank you if you are no use to them, black lab dogs, house very grubby but full of family antiques. Loads of land.

Where I live now there are loads of rich people - massive mansions, luxurious decor, perfectly dressed size 6 women, handsome men, flash cars, wall-to-wall Cockerpoos. That's all self-made money - business or football. I never think of them as posh though, just rich.

Red trousers on a man.

Posh is such a common word

Having an anecdote about Eric Hobsbawm is pretty posh, no? Although Hobsbawm himself was upper middle and a Jew, which some people will say means you definitely can’t be posh. David Rocksavage would disagree there, quite rightly.

I agree with the Burke’s Peerage listing, although it’s been mythologising the sons of social climbing soldiers and raped housemaids for generations.

Lots of people have called me posh. Mostly because:

• they hear me speak (RP)
• I grew up in Surrey
• I like riding horses
• I like skiing
• I went to private school

@MarshaBradyo

Both SIL and her husband grew up on a really rough council estate, went to the local comp, and ended their education at 16.

What’s the relationship is it your brother’s sister? Are they similar?

I’ve never thought it an issue that a mix go to private school. The dc are like their friends and who needs everyone to have same background.

My late DP's sister and her DH.

DP grew up on the same rough council estate (as did I), but got a scholarship to a private school (as did I).

I don't think anyone who was truly upper class would touch anything grey crushed velvet or "Mrs Hinch style" with a barge pole I found an account on Instagram called "my little council house" or something and everything was grey

Obviously they had emulated that style. Whatever happened to gorgeous colors and patterns like you see in stately homes?

dramaalpaca I agree, posh is titles, possibly rich, but often not, brought up in a world of rules of etiquette, but actually very easy going and IMO the least likely to be bothered about class.

Titled, entitled and entailed. The rest of us are mere dross.

@intheshedyes

I tend to think of Posh with someone who speaks very very well.

I was speaking to a woman a couple of weeks ago and I was like "Wow, you are very eloquent". Honestly, I have never met someone who speaks so eloquently. It was like I was speaking to the queen.

Do you mean somebody with a plum in their mouth, or somebody with a wide vocabulary?

There are probably degrees of 'posh'. I don't think I've ever met landed gentry, for example, but I listen to Radio 4, which passes muster round these parts.

Surely it’s all relative though. I’m called posh in my regional home town, I’m “normal”/ average in professional circles in London, and I’m positively common when I socialise with some West London privately educated friends.

But generally I think if someone is middle class, grew up in the South East, speaks with an RP accent, and is privately educated- then they’re likely to be posh (even if they perceive themselves as otherwise).

Impossible to define, because it means different things in different circumstances. Not a good thing when its used negatively to exclude others. However, I realised that I was quite posh myself when I tried online dating for 3 weeks . There are a lot out there which are far too rough for me which I didn't even know existed in such numbers.

Gosh, yes, OLD was something else 😱
I've read every single reply and still can't define what posh means to me.
It is interesting that some posters have said that posh is used as an insult or by people with a chip on their shoulder or from a point of envy. When I think of those who have called me posh then this is all true. You're posh is equal to you're not like us. You're posh equals you didn't grow up on a council estate like I did and had the chance to go to uni when I didn't. Posh equals you live in a nice area but I'm from one of the biggest council estates in England. Posh equals you don't have a local accent like me. Posh equals you speak nicely and have nice manners and eat cake off a plate with a fork. I've not got to the bottom of why Dd thinks I'm posh but she's been away from home for a few weeks in an area that is slightly rough around the edges with a bit of a reputation and very different to home and I think she has noticed the contrast to some extent and this will have been helped along by comments from her dad and his gf. Feel free to add punctuation to that; I'm too tired.

I find it easier to classify items as posh. Silver sugar tongs would be posh for example. To me anyway.

One of my dc's friends said we were posh because we use cake forks 🤣

Accent and education. Money most definitely has nothing to do with it.

Top rate public school, old money and an estate.

Anything else is just rich.

I think all British are posh to me lol they look so well dress and pretty with good postures

Miranda Hart. She’s very posh.

I come from posh! Landowning aristocracy and all the privilege that comes with it. But youngest daughter of youngest daughter so no titles or grand estates and not much land left! It's possible to trace the family tree back 100s of years if that's your thing.

But we did a lot of "nice" things growing up, private schools, horses, great networks, go anywhere, talk to anyone, confident etc.

Proper posh people are generally polite and open to everyone in my experience. Not up their own arses. The other kind tend to believe they are special rather than the result of luck.

Trust fund for essentials such as new car, city flat, etc but never a penny of ready cash available so constantly scrounging up 'pocket money'.

People who put their jumpers over their shoulders rather than tying them around their waists.

@poshme

I'm posh. Hence my username.

Come from old money & land (actually there wasn't very much money)

But comprehensive school (cos no money).

I call my evening meal supper but I shop at Aldi or Tesco.

Evening meal is dinner. Dinner is only supper when its not dinner. You have supper if the main meal was had at lunch.

To call dinner supper in the belief that it is a marker and sets you apart from riff-raff eating tea and uppity types eating dinner is itself quite telling.

Can't be arsed to read further. Anytime this conversation is had nothing new is gained. Work to put food on the table? get paid a wage for your labour? working class, irrespective of how you slipped down the cobbles.

"Naice" = secure in themself, not comparing or judging others, gracious to all, even the waitress and the cleaner. Some naice people may be on hard times, but their deportment is the same whatever their circumstance.

"Posh" = insecure, maybe grabby. Judgemental and critical of anyone who is not like them, yet terrified that the Joneses will get a better one. Name drops, place drops, buys all the latest things to appear successful, yet often struggles to pay their bills. Is fake and brittle.

There are exceptions to the rule, but these are categories I've seen. You can tell a lot about someone by how they treat someone who can do nothing for them.

I’ve committed the mumsnet sin of not reading the full thread so forgive me if this has already been said. Being posh is not caring what people actually think of you because you have been brought up to have innate confidence.
DB1’s ex wife and DB2’s wife are posh. They are both descended from titled people, have excellent manners, privately educated and Oxbridge but in the case of DB1’s ex absolutely broke.
Both of these women are really lovely women. DB2’s wife is very witty and good company. What I would say is that they have no interest in us unless we are with them... they have their own lives and didn’t attempt to cultivate a relationship with us.
DB2’s stepson when his brother was referenced replied that he was his half-brother- they say things as they are.
My sister’s husband could buy and sell them but is intimidated by them.
We all need to cultivate confidence in ourselves and not place importance on symbols of wealth.

Shooting pheasants is a bit nouveau isn't it? Shooting peasants? That's a bit more like it.