The 'sayings' that were fashionable in school, stay with you forever

[FrankButchersDickieBow]

I remember a saying with school, that if you sneezed 8 times on the run, you would have an orgasm. I'm forty fuckin three and just sneezed 6 times on the run andi never thought 'oh I need a tissue' I thought, 'ooh another 2 sneezes and I'll have an orgasm' 🤣🤣

Nothing fact based please.

Just the sayings that went round in school that you kinda believed but were vvu!!

So many of these bringing back memories!
It was 'itchy chin' at my school for someone telling stories

@Bellver888

Did anyone get told about that person who put 5 fruit pastels in his girlfriends vagina and swallowed one extra that was a “HIV lump” or were we just over imaginative

Hahahahahahaha yes 😂😂😂😂

We always got told more than three sneezes was pneumonia 😳

I was 'skelling' back on my chair on two legs and fell backwards putting my head straight through a glass door (this was the 80 thin single glazing) im lucky i didnt puncture my jugular or something. Instead I had to sit in the school office having bits of glass pulled out of my hair.

I remember the Marc Almond story. We were talking about it one day (would have been about 14/15 at the time, early 80s) and one girl kept asking "but how did it get there"?. She was horrified when we explained what a blow job was and said it sounded disgusting. We told her that if she ever got married she would have to do it as that was part if being married, you did it when you were on your period so your husband wouldn't miss out. To be fair, I don't think we really believed that, we were just winding her up, but it ended with her saying "well, in that case I'm never getting married".
I bumped into her years later when we were in our 40s, had the usual chitchat about what we'd been doing in the 20+ years since we'd last seen each other. I had my dh and dc with me, so introduced them. She then said she'd never been married and still lived with her mum and I immediately thought of the Marc Almond story and felt horribly guilty.....

We had a substitute teacher we called Mrs magoo due to her thick glasses. One after noon and she brought in a cow heart to show us for science and we all freaked out big time. We had been winding her up all week to be fair and the screams of horror really offended her. She slammed the heart down on the silver tray and watery copper smelling blood splattered all the kids in the first row of the semi circle. It got worse, people started crying and running for the door. A boy stuck his fingers into the arteries and a kid threw up in the bin. The teacher never came back. Everything was measured against that day afterwards. Having a bad day? Bet it's not as bad Mrs magoo and the splattered heart. Feeling sick? Aim for the bin like Lydia did. We etched dripping hearts into the desks and it really bonded us together as a class. A class of total animals. I'd like to say that was the first and only substitute teacher we ran off but it wasn't. We were absolute monsters.

This is amazing, @ChiefBabySniffer! Worthy of Adrian Mole... 😂

Going to the girls school meant you were definitely a lesbian.

🤷‍♀️

In high school we all firmly believed that if we smoked a ciggie whilst chewing gun we'll get cancer.

I recently quit smoking.... Iv never been able to puff n chew though

You were a fridge until you'd had your first kiss.

The Smilie gang were always doing the rounds. With vinegar.

If you had more than 1 female PE teacher they were DEFINITELY a lesbian couple.

Shirt collars were called gay flaps

Blow jobs were 'noshes'

If you eat a packet of cream crackers without water you will die.

If someone commits suicide in an exam everyone passes.

People commit suicide in exams by sticking pencils up their nose.

Ny orimary sxhool was that a plane/helicopter crashed on the school field and oody marys head came off and landed in a bucket in the school garden/alotment and gaunted the girls toilets there which no one used. People would them scare each ither with the mirror and bloody mary and challenge them to say the rhyme alone. I still get the heebie jeebies when i go in my bathroom at like 3 am and see mt reflection in the dark!

Sorry abiut the typos. Screen is broken so typing isnt always right

Oh God yy to the seven types of spunk (exactly the same number as the Samurai/sisters/veils etc hrm what a strange coincidence 🤔), chicken tumour, girl with the dog, virgin/lesbian/frigid socks. Had completely forgotten about the drains, not thought about it in years and yes to all the spurious "laws" about teacher lateness/cold building and so on. Also IDTF and of course for backup INDTF.

And putting two matches together and lighting them then letting the flame burn out naturally. If the heads stayed stuck you and whoever you'd decided the second match was were destined to be together forever.

We did the Apple thing too. Also with cherry stones or prune stones, the tinker, tailor, rhyme decided the profession of your husband.
If you wore an ankle bracelet you were a prostitute.

@Luckyrabbitfoot

If you try to sneeze with your eyes open, they will pop out of your face.

The OP said no fact based ones. This is absolutely a fact!

We used to fold up a piece of a4 so that you could put your fingers into the pockets and open them forwards and sideways (this is difficult to explain, so I hope someone knows what it mean smile. On the outside, were numbers. you picked a number then you counted and opened the flap and inside was a message. It was always some good and bad things like X (was always the most popular person at school) has a secret crush on you, or today you will pee your pants etc.

I remember those! We called them fortune-tellers.

Great thread! I remember the Marc Almond story too - poor sod! This being the 80s, there was much discussion of AIDS. According to the playground, you could catch it by touching boys and using the boys toilet. A girl might be described as a 'frigid whore' too, especially if she had 'got off with' more than two boys.

I went to a boarding school and we used to terrify each other after lights-out by talking about the ghost who haunted one of the dorms -- it was of previous owner of the house who hanged himself on a butcher's hook. Or so the story went.
We had a more innocent saying for the multiple sneezes, it was
Once a blessing,
Twice a wish,
Three times a letter,
Four - something better.
(Letters were very important to boarding school kids. And a parcel was definitely something even better. )

@PedrosPony
That if you walk over three drains something terrible will happen and you must immediately walk over two drains to cancel out the bad luck. Still avoid three drains to this day.

Oh wow, that's ringing a bell!
Had that at school too, and also read somewhere more recently (without googling will try and remember!) that it has its origins in being in the trenches World War and something to do with a lighter being lit and third time unlucky and they know where you are.
Still don't like walking over three drains here either lol

Yes to the pp mentioning making paper fortune tellers. They were great! If you wore an anklet on your left ankle, you were a prostitute. The right ankle was fine though.

[quote 14down]@Bellver888 didn't have that one but there was ' a girl in yr x sat on a stand in the chemistry lab and it went all the way up her' obviously now I know it's not possible to fit 50cm of pole in to your vagina but then.. well!

Also this was an actual thing I heard, in sex ed with the scariest female teacher ever, she was about 4foot tall but commanded respect immediately, she was talking about male orgasm and then showed us a video of sperm swimming and Darren in front of me asked if he could keep one if his in a tank as a pet.. she had to excuse herself from the room [/quote]
Can you imagine that at home

"Darren!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE SEAMONKEYS!!!"

@Chunkymenrock

Yes to the pp mentioning making paper fortune tellers. They were great! If you wore an anklet on your left ankle, you were a prostitute. The right ankle was fine though.

anklet now is "hotwife"/swinger isn't it?

I don't remember the anklet thing but I do remember the idea that boys/men with a single ear pierced (very trendy in the early 80s) were gay if they had the earring in the left war. It was like a secret sign to other gay men. Right ear was fine though.

@EmmaGrundyForPM

I don't remember the anklet thing but I do remember the idea that boys/men with a single ear pierced (very trendy in the early 80s) were gay if they had the earring in the left war. It was like a secret sign to other gay men. Right ear was fine though.

I think that comes from British misunderstanding of the American "handkerchief code" gay men would have varying colours of handkerchief in either thier left or right back pocket for top/bottom/specific things.

For cruising when it was all illegal

@zen1

Oh yes the xxxx LOVES xxxxxx puzzle. I loved Andrew Ridgley 99% based on that!

We also had the piles / radiators one and the coke / aspirin one.

There was a rumour going round at school that someone ate a McChicken Sandwich at McDonalds and they asked for no mayo but when they bit into it, it had mayo inside that turned out to be a burst cyst from the chicken. I never ate one again (and that was 30 odd years ago)!

I have never been able to eat McDonald's chicken burgers for this very reason!!