My boyfriend and I live together. He works freelance and his money comes in at random times. Occasionally, his payment gets missed or there's some delay in approving it so it doesn't get processed on time.
He told me yesterday that he got a text from his bank to say he was £50 away from his agreed overdraft limit of £2500. I didn't even know that he was in his overdraft. He's waiting to get paid, but doesn't know when it will go into his account.
We are not married, but own a house together. We get paid into our own accounts and then should transfer money to cover mortgage, bills and food into our joint account. I earn a few hundred more than him a month on average, but generally end up putting more money into the account than him each month, probably averages out at 70% me, 30% him.
He didn't come out and say it, but that means he hasn't paid any money into the joint account this month yet. He paid his usual 30% last month, but didn't pay any in January "because of Christmas". The way he brought it up yesterday felt like he was expecting me to give him the money to get him out of his overdraft.
In the past, I have loaned him money when he's had cashflow problems because of work. When it's been paid back, it's been paid into the joint account, so I've never really 'received' the loans back.
I'm really careful with my money, and have my own savings. Last month, I splashed out on something expensive, which was both a treat for me, and something that will help me with working from home while I'm shielding. He knows how much it cost and raised eyebrows when I bought it.
However, he is happy to spend a lot of money each month on wine, fags and bits for his computer, while not paying a fair share of the joint expenses.
YABU- I should share my money with him, it's unreasonable for me to have savings and not help him.
YANBU- We're not married and have separate finances, so he needs to manage his spending and check his income/ payment dates more carefully.