WIBU in making this child cry?!

[ILoveFlumps]

We have a new build house, which has shingles on the front garden next to the driveway.
I went out of my front door to put some rubbish in the bin and find a man with his toddler son playing on the shingles. I was a bit confused and politely said “excuse me, would you mind not doing that on my front garden?”. The man then replied “he’s just a child who is playing”. I replied “but it’s my property”
He then picked up his child who then started crying and as he was walking away he said to me “are you happy now, you made him cry?”
I’m a bit taken aback! Was I wrong to tell them to stop playing in my front garden?!

@dontdisturbmenow

Oh please, another one raising his kids to believe he us the centre of the world that entitles him to do as he likes.

My thought exactly

Decent parents stop their children entering other peoples front gardens, the end.

15m into your garden, you weren't unreasonable. Our front garden is larger than the back, but we have now fenced it. Local kids sometimes wander on our drive, and I wouldn't worry about that.
My DS2 was once told off by a grumpy woman for kicking, with his small toddler sized welly at a snowy Bush to see the snow fall off.
The Bush was on communal land. I thought she was being unreasonable and told her so.

Me too. But then territorialism is a mystery to me, I just don’t understand it.

love posters who are so generous with other people's properties

DS likes to go out with a little broom and sweep next door's shingles back onto their drive, we have their permission. NDN says it does make her feel slovenly when he walks past pointing 'ohhh messy' , but we get on well so I know she doesn't really mind. In this example right in the middle of your front garden is a bit odd.

@therealteamdebbie

Me too. But then territorialism is a mystery to me, I just don’t understand it.

love posters who are so generous with other people's properties

I’m generous with mine. I just don’t understand people who aren’t when it’s no skin off their nose. HTH.

@Isit2021yetplease

Was it really necessary? There isn't a whole lot for parents to do to entertain their kids right now - a few minutes looking at shingles on your front drive might have given him a few minutes peace! Yes technically they shouldn't have been doing it but a bit of compassion or ability to see the bigger picture might have been nice. What a grump you are.

They weren't just looking!

Do you let randoms wander over your garden playing with your things?

You've probably not made any friends in your new-build today, so if you were hoping to become part of the community then you've probably blown it at least with that family and anyone else they know, or anyone else with kids.

Yes, yes, just let the mens do what they want with their kids and you just pipe down or they will shun you.

He doesn't sound like the kind of guy who will put himself out for others.

The vast majority of other parents being regaled with this story will rightly decide he is an entitled idiot. And likely be glad someone else stood up to him.

I did similar with a mother who was letting her little angel run on to our path and "play" with our solar lights (pulling them out of the ground and putting them back in). Same when a group of us stood up to a local dad suggesting "boys will be boys" was a suitable excuse for kids running in to front gardens, pulling up plants, knocking on doors, swearing at residents. I can't say the estate has turned their back on me for it but I wouldn't give a toss if they did.

Of course you weren't!

If his toddler wanted to bring a bucket and spade and dig up your flowers would he let him?!

Toddlers cry when they can't do what they want. It's all part of learning and development.

YANBU - endless posts on Mumsnet where people seem to think their children can wander at will onto everybody else's property and play! The fact an adult was with this child is even more entitled. Can't imagine not teaching my children about boundaries even at an early age.

The father is an idiot.

What are Shingles?!
I thought they were a painful rash or cedar tiles for roofing?

Toddlers cry about everything and forget about it 10 minutes later. Still no excuse for the Dad to let the boy do what he wanted and playing in someone else's garden without their permission is not ok. So the Dad was the reason for the boy crying not you. He should have stopped him or distracted him immediately or kids grow up thinking they can do what they like.

YANBU, Kids love a shingled/gravelled/pebbled drive and whenever we’d walk past one mine would ask if they could pick some up and I obviously told them no because that’s someone’s property 😂 I personally wouldn’t have said anything as I wouldn’t care but that doesn’t mean you were unreasonable.

[quote HOkieCOkie]@Isit2021yetplease lockdown boredom isn’t an excuse for entitle behaviour. Her property is her hers and not his and his spoilt little brat.[/quote]
Is it really necessary to call a toddler a spoilt brat?

Curious - so true! Heading off to go and do something useful.

People are so amazingly different in their perspectives though, it’s fascinating. If my mother in law found someone new and interesting to chat to out on her drive, she’d be out there with a cup of tea for the Dad, a deckchair to sit on and a biscuit for the toddler, no question. If it was my own mother in the OP’s shoes, she’d be right there with a broom shooing them off and threatening the police!

I am territorial. If I were a dog, I'd run out of pee marking my territory. As a result, from when they first learned to toddle, my kids learned to stay off other people's property.

I do not appreciate people thinking they can use my property without my permission, whether that's bouncing on the trampoline in the middle of the night, parking on my driveway, leaning over the fence to pick the flowers because their dear wee tot wants the pretty flower, or using the fence as a jungle gym (mainly because it was so damned rotten it's an accident waiting to happen.)

@ILoveFlumps
I’d have been bellowing “
Get orf moi Laaand”!!!! And waving a stick.

I’m not particularly territorial but I taught my kids to respect others property anyway, I don’t think it’s fair to say the toddler was a spoilt brat, it’s the dad at fault here.

Next time, just spray him with a hose to avoid any unnecessary confrontation.

YANBU obviously, it's your garden.

YANBU it's your property to have to maintain and keep looking nice. If parents are happy for their kids to destroy property then let them do it to their own homes.

I think YANBU. I have a three year old who used to love going into other folk’s gardens but isn’t so bad now. I’d be worrying that the dad was the type who, if the child hurt themself in any way, would be onto me for compo.

For good measure I would have said that my dogs use the area to wee on.

I’d let that go personally, unless the child was causing damage to my car or throwing them around all over the place. I understand it’s a bit annoying to have to put it all back in the right place afterwards, but if it was my child doing it I’d definitely take that responsibility at the end. Maybe this man would have too. I agree with poster who said you’re technically correct and it being the worst kind of correct. It’s not the end of the world, given the current situation as well.

Yanbu but personally I couldn’t be bothered by a toddler playing on some shingle.

It's EASY to distract a toddler from undesirable behaviour. God help this man when he has entitled teenagers to deal with who have not been taught boundaries.