WIBU in making this child cry?!

[ILoveFlumps]

We have a new build house, which has shingles on the front garden next to the driveway.
I went out of my front door to put some rubbish in the bin and find a man with his toddler son playing on the shingles. I was a bit confused and politely said “excuse me, would you mind not doing that on my front garden?”. The man then replied “he’s just a child who is playing”. I replied “but it’s my property”
He then picked up his child who then started crying and as he was walking away he said to me “are you happy now, you made him cry?”
I’m a bit taken aback! Was I wrong to tell them to stop playing in my front garden?!

It wouldn’t bother me if a little kid, supervised by a parent, played quietly on my driveway for a few minutes. I’d be rather pleased to see it, actually. I’d take the opportunity to go out for a little chat and get to know them, as they’re most likely local. Perhaps I’m unusual in that I am generally an optimistic type of person, who finds joy in little things like that. But it’s good you reacted as you did, because the word will soon get round that you’re best avoided. Are you a fan of the work of Oscar Wilde?

I think you were a little harsh yes. Unless they do it daily what harm was it? My toddlers adore stones and on walks will often try to drag me onto people's drives. I do say no, but it's hardly a big deal surely?

15 metres? That's nearly 50 feet. (According to an online calculator)

I do not believe most people would be happy in real life about a stranger bringing their toddler 50ft down their property and sitting down to play with them. It's really more a bash the op type of reply.

@Borntohula yeah I’m a professional nanny with 20+ years experience with tiny babies and young toddlers.

Yanbu

He was really odd to take his child onto your garden. If the child had just strayed onto your garden or drive then it would be ott to go out and tell him to get off. As little ones don't have any respect for other people's property! But to actively play with your child in somone else's drive is odd.

In the context of lockdown, I would be confused but ultimately heart warmed to find a child playing in my front garden.

In normal non lockdown times I would be confused and then a bit annoyed.

I guess OP hasn't been struggling to entertain little kids during lockdown so didn't immediately think of it that way.

Completely different scenario, but I remember someone getting upset with us once because my toddler jumped in a puddle on the pavement outside their house in the rain . Apparently it was "their" pavement so my DS had no right to jump in the puddle there and make it all wet (at this point, it had been raining all morning ). That cracked me up! My mother was with us and we just managed to get around the corner with DS, who was a tiny tot of about 15 months, before we started laughing.

@SugarfreeBlitz

It's EASY to distract a toddler from undesirable behaviour. God help this man when he has entitled teenagers to deal with who have not been taught boundaries.

Give over. A toddler playing for a few minutes on gravel hardly equates to an "entitled" teenager. Massive exaggeration.

I've seen toddlers play gently with my driveway gravel before and it's made me smile actually! If if bothers you then of course you were right to say something but I can't say I'd mind at all.

Tbh I would have probably let my child play with the shingles too (won't from now on!) But would have been super apologetic and left immediately after you said, and would have felt bad about it for days. So no you were not unreasonable, he was.

@MessagesKeepGettingClearer

I think you were a little harsh yes. Unless they do it daily what harm was it? My toddlers adore stones and on walks will often try to drag me onto people's drives. I do say no, but it's hardly a big deal surely?

Buy your child some stones then. I like driving cars, does that mean I can pop round and use yours? What's the harm?

@Isit2021yetplease

Was it really necessary? There isn't a whole lot for parents to do to entertain their kids right now - a few minutes looking at shingles on your front drive might have given him a few minutes peace! Yes technically they shouldn't have been doing it but a bit of compassion or ability to see the bigger picture might have been nice. What a grump you are.

You are joking, right?

Give over. A toddler playing for a few minutes on gravel hardly equates to an "entitled" teenager. Massive exaggeration.
If their parent believes it's okay for them to sit down and play in someone else's garden and doesn't apologise but says the owner of the house is at fault then they are going to grow up entitled. It's always going to be someone else's fault

Just realised how far that is, ok, that were unreasonable and I would never have come onto your property! Also had to Google as thought the wee lad was playing with your diseases

Tbh I would have probably let my child play with the shingles too (won't from now on!) But would have been super apologetic and left immediately after you said, and would have felt bad about it for days.
Yes. Normal human behaviour. Not 'you've made my child cry!!!'

You’re really not the unreasonable one here, it’s weird to let your kid play in a strangers garden without permission

@DayBath

You were technically correct, which is the worst kind of correct.

Standing on shingle to hear the crunch of different textures under your feet is fun, it was a small child, the Dad probably thought most sensible people wouldn't mind a child briefly walking on the very edge of a boundary to feel the difference underfoot.

Like I say, it's your property so you were technically correct. But you were a total dick about it and it wouldn't have killed you to just say good morning, smile and then go about your day would it.

We have some lovely shrubs on the edge of our front garden that toddlers love to stroke and feel the texture of. I can't imagine ever telling them to bugger off my property and causing them to cry, what a nasty piece of work you have to be to do that.

You sound tedious.

Well done you.

It is easy to distract a toddler though. Yes, it's tiring and exhausting. We've all been there but I'd never have dreamed of letting mine play on someone else's garden. I took them to the park or played in our own.
Toddlers are easily pleased. They are happy with all sorts of little things. They think everything their parents do is great, so it's basically lazy parenting.

Playing on other people's gardens isn't really reasonable, especially in a pandemic when we are supposed even more to respect each other's space.

I don't think it was your finest hour op, then again it wasn't the dad's either, he could have got a grip.

Meh. I couldn't get het up about a tiny kid playing with stones. Our house has 10 acres of woods that belong to it. They build a housing estate next to it and we let all the kids play in it. Their gardens are like postage stamps. Maybe I should get out there and yell "orrrrf my land!".

I have no fucking idea what a shingle is and this thread has only made me more confused. Will someone please post a picture and explain what it is and what it's used for

@BlissLi

I have no fucking idea what a shingle is and this thread has only made me more confused. Will someone please post a picture and explain what it is and what it's used for

Gravel / pea shingle .

@BlissLi google image search has lots of pictures of shingle

Yanbu. My toddler regularly tries to do this on neighbouring drives etc, I remove her every single time and apologise if the neughbours are out and about to speak to

Yanbu, they were cheeky and entitled. A while ago a woman drinking from a bottle of wine, opened my front yard gate and sat on my doorstep. I was going to tell her to move but I noticed her just as she as leaving.