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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Unhelpful craze for early pregnancy testing

199 replies

LittleLottieChaos · 01/03/2021 05:34

I think that there is a hugely unhelpful side to being on here. The early pregnancy testing craze... before discovering this notion of testing before a missed period I had quite happily waited and if my period arrived then I wasn’t pregnant, if it was a week late then I tested. (I have one toddler and sadly has one termination for medical reasons). Now after reading all those threads... even I was considering testing before my period & I did - it was as expected negative, and my period arrived 2 days later.

Does anyone else think that testing early is absolutely a stress and a waste of time? Of course it’s a negative you’re testing far too early. Why torture yourself?

Chuck in bad for the environment and a waste of money, these test making companies are rubbing their little hands together profiteering from suggestible desperate people.

Or am I misreading something? I know ‘each unto their own’ will be the response to this thread, but I would like to say to these lovely women, just stop doing it- you’ll be happier and you likely will conceive, testing repeatedly before a missed period is asking for disappointment.

(Duly note not a single acronym appeared in this post as they are also massively unhelpful)

OP posts:

User527294627 · 30/10/2021 17:49

Would you really wait a whole week for your period before testing? I was so excited I tested when I was a day late.

I’m regular as clockwork though, so maybe that’s why a day late felt reasonable to me!

Gottahavehighhopes · 30/10/2021 17:49

Getting your period can be a shit way to find out it hasn't worked
Early pregnancy and period bring due feels similar. Id rather not get my hopes up and discover it hasn't worked in the work toilets, or by bleeding in a party etc
A pregnancy test gives some control back

Rosesareyellow · 30/10/2021 17:55

YANBU. Such a waste of money and a complete head fuck. But I can understand why people do it. TTC really messes with you’re sense of rationality.

Buttons294749 · 30/10/2021 17:58

You seem terribly ignorant of fertility struggles.

If I hadn't tested early I would
(A) realise that I was conceiving but not able to hold the pregnancy repeatedly
(B) each CP counts towards the 3 miscarriages you need to trigger a referral to the recurrent miscarriage clinic. It was there that I discovered I had a blood clotting problem that was stopping me keeping a pregnancy and (most vitally) potentially going to cause me to have a clot if the pregnancy progressed

So yeah avoiding death (something that actually happened to my DGM sister) during pregnancy/whilst PP is a really good reason. People have a right to access medical information about their bodies.

Rosesareyellow · 30/10/2021 17:59

@Gottahavehighhopes I disagree. You see so many people posting ‘day before missed period, is there still hope?’ ‘3 days late but no period, negative pregnancy test, could it be a false negative?’. People hold out hope until their period arrives and all the testing just messes with your emotions even more.

Loubiemoo · 30/10/2021 18:01

YANBU @LittleLottieChaos

Also the false hope people cruelly give on the ‘line eyes’ threads. Heartbreaking.

4thtimethecharm · 30/10/2021 18:02

I test early as I need to go on medication as soon as I test positive, in order for the pregnancy to survive. So the spontaneous occasions of 'oh, I am a few days late, let's take a test' are lovely, but not for everyone.

RobertaFirmino · 30/10/2021 18:03

@Loubiemoo

YANBU *@LittleLottieChaos*

Also the false hope people cruelly give on the ‘line eyes’ threads. Heartbreaking.

I hate these threads. A woman posts, giving no indication of whether she actually wants to be pregnant or not and it's all 'Congratulations!'. Then if you say you cannot see a line, others get really snotty about it!

NorthSouthcatlady · 30/10/2021 18:04

Total waste of time. I have never done it despite trying for over 3 years and 2 rounds of IVF. It’s not a good habit to get into

Shorty30 · 30/10/2021 18:05

I think that is a little different and if you have had problems conceiving previously then I completely get it. However, for someone who is trying for the first time and is unaware of what may lie ahead, it can be a route to more upset than necessary.

Anyhow, I was just looking for some advice, as to when is the best time to test after a missed period, how long do you leave it? A week, two weeks? It is excruciating waiting when you are late and as it gives that little bit of hope.

Viviennemary · 30/10/2021 18:06

I couldn't agree more. Its ridiculous. If there is a line you will see it. Why does it take 50 mumsnetter to pile in I can see a line whoopee
Yay congrats when there is no line to be seen.

Toddlerteaplease · 30/10/2021 18:07

I've wondered about this. Does a chemical pregnancy really class as a miscarriage. Surly it's causing unnecessary distress, as they'd never know If not testing so early.

vajingleberry · 30/10/2021 18:07

@Shorty30

You might be better off starting your own thread as most of the replies will just be to the original OP.

I hope you soon get the outcome you want

FETOCT2021 · 30/10/2021 18:15

I realise this thread is old but I have to test early because I nearly died having a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. Going through ivf you also test earlier and have to have early scans.

Buttons294749 · 30/10/2021 18:17

@toddlerteaplease yes it does count. For me not really in an emotional way (I actually went to NY mid miscarriage from a CP and had a bloody lovely time), but for diagnostic purposes. This actually helped me get the diagnosis I need that not only affects me whilst pregnant but affects a lot of other medication I'm on .

It's similar to the group step B test, you only need to test if you're the one in whatever that has it, but for the person that does it's vital (and yes I managed to have group step B on top of all my other issues 🙄)

FETOCT2021 · 30/10/2021 18:23

@Toddlerteaplease it’s called a biochemical pregnancy so slightly different from a miscarriage (but often just as upsetting).

it can be very helpful for woman who are struggling with infertility to know if they’ve had one. It could indicate poor egg quality or lining issues. So very useful for them to know about so they can make decisions on what to do next with their treatment.

Infertility is horrendous and women often have depression and suicidal thoughts, so peeing on a stick early isn’t silly or stupid for them. Infertility is all consuming.

Berkeys · 30/10/2021 18:43

@4thtimethecharm

This

NorthSouthcatlady · 30/10/2021 20:15

@FETOCT2021 no, you don’t test early after IVF. Most people are told to test about 2 weeks after transfer which if it was a standard cycle, is roughly about day 32 to 35. A lot of people do have blood tests and an early scan (around 6-8 weeks)

NorthSouthcatlady · 30/10/2021 20:16

Well, l never have after 3 transfers. No one l know who has had IVF, has been told to test less than 14 days after transfer

Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 30/10/2021 20:21

These threads bring out the worst in people. Who cares if you don’t think it’s good/don’t like it?! You can wait a week and test then. For people who like to test early, they aren’t hurting anyone and there’s no harm.

If they want to spend money doing that it’s their business, and saying it’s a waste of money and bad for the environment is very bitchy IMO. A (now EX) friend said that to me when I told her I was pregnant and had taken several tests. Lovely thing to say…not

Live and let live

Sparklybanana · 30/10/2021 21:12

All of you saying about chemical pregnancies are missing the fact that you can have miscarriages after you find out even through a missed period. Thats the thing about pregnancy- all the way until the end, your heart can be ripped out at any point. As someone who struggled to get pregnant, knowing that I could get as far as a chemical would have made a huge difference. As it happens, I've always tested early and have always been sure 4 days before my period and good job too because if I had waited for a missed period, then i would have been devastated unnecessarily so as my implantation bleeding has always been very much like a light period. You have no idea how it feels to wait so long for those lines. The reason why women post about if you can see the lines (which I've not done) is that only someone going through the same as you can comprehend why you're looking for a barely visible line. Until you've walked in someone's shoes - don't judge. It doesn't affect you if others test early. Yabu.

SarahAndQuack · 30/10/2021 21:17

I know this is an old thread, but I'm another one pointing out I need to know early as I need to be taking medication, amongst other things.

I really dislike this thread of tutting about pregnancy loss - oh dear, silly women, if only they'd not bothered to take care of their health, then they'd have nothing to get so emotional about. Right?

KingsleyShacklebolt · 30/10/2021 21:21

Nothing new. It's 19 years since I was pregnant with my first and ventured into pregnancy forums, and even then women were bulk buying pregnancy tests from Ebay (at that point Amazon only sold books) and posting "can you see a line" threads.

I get the desperation to know and the desperation to be pregnant. But agree that a lot of heartache could be saved if people just waited until they were a few days late.

SarahAndQuack · 30/10/2021 21:58

@KingsleyShacklebolt

I get the desperation to know and the desperation to be pregnant. But agree that a lot of heartache could be saved if people just waited until they were a few days late.

Yes, there's nothing like the saving of heartache when you get told 'well, you were pregnant, but because you didn't know and didn't take medication, you've lost the pregnancy again. Sorry and all'.

Honestly. What a stupid idea.

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