Unhelpful craze for early pregnancy testing

[LittleLottieChaos]

I think that there is a hugely unhelpful side to being on here. The early pregnancy testing craze... before discovering this notion of testing before a missed period I had quite happily waited and if my period arrived then I wasn’t pregnant, if it was a week late then I tested. (I have one toddler and sadly has one termination for medical reasons). Now after reading all those threads... even I was considering testing before my period & I did - it was as expected negative, and my period arrived 2 days later.

Does anyone else think that testing early is absolutely a stress and a waste of time? Of course it’s a negative you’re testing far too early. Why torture yourself?

Chuck in bad for the environment and a waste of money, these test making companies are rubbing their little hands together profiteering from suggestible desperate people.

Or am I misreading something? I know ‘each unto their own’ will be the response to this thread, but I would like to say to these lovely women, just stop doing it- you’ll be happier and you likely will conceive, testing repeatedly before a missed period is asking for disappointment.

(Duly note not a single acronym appeared in this post as they are also massively unhelpful)

I think for some women it’s damaging, for others it is fine. So many threads asking for line eyes, where clearly there is no line, and posters saying “I can see it”. I guess they think they are being nice and supportive, but it’s not.

I’m 52 now, my daughter 23, and when I was ttc you missed your period and tested a couple of weeks later, for so many women this cycle of early testing before a period is even missed is just a roller coaster of hope and despair, much more so than if they just waited.

For other women they can deal with it clinically and don’t have emotion associated with it, but I’m genuinely unsure it’s the majority.

YABU. A lot of this is judgement dressed up as concern and care.

I tested early because after many, many months of TTC, it very slightly softened the blow of yet another failed cycle. The shock of my period always seemed worse than the inevitability of a blank screen.

And of course, when I actually finally got pregnant after IVF, you test earlier than normal and get scanned WAY earlier than normal.

It was how I coped, and I think YABU to judge how other women cope.

I try very hard not to test early but to be honest 12 cycles into trying to conceive with no luck so far it’s pretty much all I think about from the time I ovulate until my period arrives so the idea that it’s ‘less stressful’ or whatever doesn’t really ring true for me - in the last few days before my period arrives I will lie awake from 4am onwards, fighting the urge not to get up and test. I’d love to just be cool about it all and not care if I’m finally pregnant or if this is another month of disappointment but that’s just not how I am. If anyone has a magic solution to turning all my anxiety off, I’m all ears!

I think you're right that early testing is unhelpful, but I don't think it's a new fad and I don't think it's a mumsnet thing. People desperate to be pregnant often just find POAS very tempting, and if they're active on the TTC boards then they're going to post about it there. There are probably thousands of women testing early every day who have never been on Mumsnet.

Even more unhelpful imo than testing early is endlessly retesting after a positive and squinting to see whether a line has "progressed" or not - over the counter pregnancy tests are not designed to be quantitative and it's just a recipe for anxiety.

I agree, it's a ridiculous.

Picture of a clearly negative pregnancy test and no indication that pregnancy would be a good thing for the OP and loads of posters pile on with 'I can see a line, congratulations' type comments.

So the OP is then terrified she's pregnant when she doesn't want to be, or she gets her period a few days later and she then thinks she's had a miscarriage when either she was never pregnant in the first place or has suffered one of the quite frequent early pregnancy losses that without all this early testing would otherwise have been seen as a slightly late period.

Plus there's the cost of all this unnecessary testing. I know you can get cheap strip tests from the poundshop etc, but those FRER type tests are expensive. Madness.

Actually I take some of that back. I think very often early testing and repeat testing are symptoms of anxiety, not the cause itself, but that often they can feed into the anxiety to make a vicious cycle. What's best for TTC is to not think about TTC, but I know from experience that that's often impossible.

When I was in the very early days of being pregnant with DD I needed some very strong painkillers for back pain. I knew there was a possibility I could be pregnant but my period wasnt due for a few more days. I decided to take the risk and have the painkillers for a couple of days as I was in agony. If I had known that I could have tested early this would have been helpful in making this decision. It was ok in the end but I did feel very guilty when I later found out I was pregnant.

I often think the people who manufacture the 'early response' tests are cynically exploiting people who may be desperate to conceive and therefore vulnerable.

"YABU. A lot of this is judgement dressed up as concern and care."

Yes

I think if some people had been trying for years, had fertility investigations, fertility treatment or a stillbirth that meant you had to stick a needle in your stomach every day from the day you knew you were pregnant, they might feel differently.

I agree with you OP. As well as the early testing, it's the people booking early scans that I feel sad for. The scanning companies are so wrong for taking people's money when they know it's too early to see anything.

But no matter what we think others will disagree and will pay for more and more tests.

I'm sure we've all unknowingly had failed pregnancies along the way. It would be more helpful if women were given the statistics around how often this happens.

Irregular periods/ going for months without a period while trying to have a baby?

You seem to have very little imagination for situations that you haven’t directly experienced.

It feels like it is another aspect of the 'instant gratification' society we now live in.

When TTC I'm afraid patience is really hard. I have been pregnant twice. Not that long ago. Both times I had to force myself to wait until I was due on.

It was better for my state of mind, not to mention cheaper.

I am all too well aware that you can suffer the tragedy of loss at any stage in a pregnancy. We lost our second daughter at 21 weeks. Why, why put yourself through the 'hope and loss' cycle every month?

It can't be good. Sorry. I'm sorry for all those who are disappointed this morning.

Just looked it up...

Chemical pregnancies are extremely common. In fact, experts actually believe this very early pregnancy loss may account for up to 70 percent of all conceptions. Often, the only sign of a chemical pregnancy is a late period.

YANBU at all. And I do not think early scans should be given out like smarties. I struggled for years to have a baby - a test for each hopeful month was pointless.

I do a test pretty much every month.

My reasoning is that I don’t get periods because of the mini pill and side effects of my current medication means that if I was to get accidently pregnant then termination would be the safest option.

I buy tests online which I feel are as accurate as pregnancy tests can be but cheaper than the branded ones you get in supermarkets. The ones I use are made by the same company that the NHS uses.

If my circumstances change and I do TTC then I would probably avoid testing until the missed period just to avoid disappointment.

I have tested 5 days before with each of my pregnancies and got a positive on a digital test. I am lucky in that it has only ever taken me a month or two to get pregnant. With some women it can take longer and they can get obsessive. I don't see any harm in taking a test earlier than your previous of like me you know when you ovulate and have regular periods. What I don't understand is women who continue to test once they get pregnant waiting for that dye stealer or will continue to fo digital tests in the hope that they will get to 3+ or even going as far as opening up a digital test to see the lines. I have been lucky when trying to conceive, ir is a more difficult road for some and I recognise that if it helps them to do so fair enough. I avoid reading such boards as it causes me anxiety, I go by the mantra that if I am pregnant today there is no reason I won't be tomorrow and even if there was a reason it would be out of my hands anyway. That helps me.

YANBU it’s not good. Neither are early scans.

I agree that it does create heartache.

However, I was told to test early to see if I was having chemical pregnancies, so it can be useful.

It obviously stems from desperation, the same reason people who test early imagine symptoms.

I agree. Early testing leads to women feeling they are having miscarriages which a generation back we didn't have.

If there have been problems conceiving, then great start early testing as a way to identify the problem. But for most women, early testing leads to suffering miscarriages that they would otherwise not have known about.

I tested 6 days before my period was due. I got a very strong positive. I'm now 8 months pregnant. No harm done for me.

And to be fair I only tested at that point because I went home from work that day vomiting with a migraine... I just "knew".

A (more recent?) thing I have seen that seems to cause anxiety is women using the Clear Blue Digital Weeks tests, where it displays “pregnant 1-2 weeks” or 2-3 weeks or 3+ weeks. If they get a positive test stating 1-2 weeks, they’re happy but not satisfied until they keep continuing to test each to see “progress” to 2-3 and then 3+. If their tests don’t progress they see this as a sign there’s something wrong or the pregnancy not viable, same if they have worked out their weeks and the numbers on the tests don’t reflect that.