Unhelpful craze for early pregnancy testing

[LittleLottieChaos]

I think that there is a hugely unhelpful side to being on here. The early pregnancy testing craze... before discovering this notion of testing before a missed period I had quite happily waited and if my period arrived then I wasn’t pregnant, if it was a week late then I tested. (I have one toddler and sadly has one termination for medical reasons). Now after reading all those threads... even I was considering testing before my period & I did - it was as expected negative, and my period arrived 2 days later.

Does anyone else think that testing early is absolutely a stress and a waste of time? Of course it’s a negative you’re testing far too early. Why torture yourself?

Chuck in bad for the environment and a waste of money, these test making companies are rubbing their little hands together profiteering from suggestible desperate people.

Or am I misreading something? I know ‘each unto their own’ will be the response to this thread, but I would like to say to these lovely women, just stop doing it- you’ll be happier and you likely will conceive, testing repeatedly before a missed period is asking for disappointment.

(Duly note not a single acronym appeared in this post as they are also massively unhelpful)

@Bluntness100

I think for some women it’s damaging, for others it is fine. So many threads asking for line eyes, where clearly there is no line, and posters saying “I can see it”. I guess they think they are being nice and supportive, but it’s not.

I’m 52 now, my daughter 23, and when I was ttc you missed your period and tested a couple of weeks later, for so many women this cycle of early testing before a period is even missed is just a roller coaster of hope and despair, much more so than if they just waited.

For other women they can deal with it clinically and don’t have emotion associated with it, but I’m genuinely unsure it’s the majority.

I think you’re underestimating the stress of waiting though. It’s not necessarily a choice between ‘wait calmly and without expectation’ and test early. Once you’re actively TTC it can be an incredibly emotional process with a lot of emotions either way. I know a lot of women find it’s the lesser of two evils to just test and get an answer so they can move on to the next cycle. Psychologically that can be helpful even if it turns out later you’d tested a bit too early and were pregnant after all.

OP, YABU. Do what you feel is right during your own TTC, and others do what they feel is best for them. As others have pointed out, for some people it’s useful to know early so they are aware of losses and CPs. I needed to know ASAP so I could go for a scan to check whether the pregnancy was ectopic. You can buy cheap strips by the bulk so plastic waste isn’t necessarily an issue. Let people do what they feel is best.

Some people would prefer to know about an early loss and process and grieve for that pregnancy even though it’s painful, rather than never know it existed. I have a friend who only managed to conceive once, which ended in a loss very early (chemical pregnancy). She’s glad she knows that her ‘baby’ (to her) existed, however briefly, as that’s the closest she will ever come to having been a mum. It’s really none of your business.

I HATE this obsession with early testing and I say this as someone who took 2 years to get a BFP and went through IVF failure. I just don't think it's healthy behaviour. I didn't test until I was a few days late. I used to be obsessed with TTC but once under fertility clinic I relaxed gradually and stopped symptom spotting each month. I just think early testing reinforces anxiety and then if they get an early positive, they repeatedly test and get anxious if lines aren't darker etc. It's not helpful.

@LittleRa

A (more recent?) thing I have seen that seems to cause anxiety is women using the Clear Blue Digital Weeks tests, where it displays “pregnant 1-2 weeks” or 2-3 weeks or 3+ weeks. If they get a positive test stating 1-2 weeks, they’re happy but not satisfied until they keep continuing to test each to see “progress” to 2-3 and then 3+. If their tests don’t progress they see this as a sign there’s something wrong or the pregnancy not viable, same if they have worked out their weeks and the numbers on the tests don’t reflect that.

Yes I remember there was a most ridiculous advert for those weeks tests, in which a woman handed a friend a test saying 2 weeks pregnant.

@picklemewalnuts

I agree. Early testing leads to women feeling they are having miscarriages which a generation back we didn't have.

If there have been problems conceiving, then great start early testing as a way to identify the problem. But for most women, early testing leads to suffering miscarriages that they would otherwise not have known about.

It doesn’t lead to people ‘feeling they’ve had miscarriages’. It leads to them becoming aware that they’ve had a miscarriage. It’s a miscarriage either way.

@Turtles45

YANBU it’s not good. Neither are early scans.

Are you aware of the many reasons why someone might need an early scan?

@Superstardjs

YANBU at all. And I do not think early scans should be given out like smarties. I struggled for years to have a baby - a test for each hopeful month was pointless.

They don’t.

You can go pay for one privately, as is your choice.

The nhs don’t ‘give out early scans like smarties’, what gave you that impression?

A lot of 'in my day' on this thread! I'm sure plenty of these posters would have done more tests if they'd had the opportunity.

I got a couple of multipacks from the pound shop each time (so, £2) and tested ridiculously early as I was excited. I still remember seeing that barely discernable line both times.

So much scoffing on here from people who have been there and done that.

It's also a bit naive to think that the women currently stressed and testing early would otherwise be blissfully skipping through life without a thought about pregnancy until their period was weeks late.

I don't find early scans to be at all helpful or reassuring, after a history of miscarriage. But I can see why other people would find them useful so I wouldn't tut at people for having them. As long as you know what the uncertainty is and you're making an informed decision, you don't just assume line on a test/early heartbeat = definite full-term pregnancy, then it's really not up to anyone else to tell you what you should or shouldn't know.

[quote honeylulu]@greendress789

It wasn't LIT but a blood plasma transfusion. Not sure if you're in the UK but LIT wasn't offered as an option. It was either lipids or blood plasma and my consultant thought blood plasma was the better o ption. Also most expensive (not an option on the NHS)! I was with Dr Alison Taylor at the Lister clinic in London. She was fabulous.[/quote]
I am in the UK. Thank you.

@LittleRa

A (more recent?) thing I have seen that seems to cause anxiety is women using the Clear Blue Digital Weeks tests, where it displays “pregnant 1-2 weeks” or 2-3 weeks or 3+ weeks. If they get a positive test stating 1-2 weeks, they’re happy but not satisfied until they keep continuing to test each to see “progress” to 2-3 and then 3+. If their tests don’t progress they see this as a sign there’s something wrong or the pregnancy not viable, same if they have worked out their weeks and the numbers on the tests don’t reflect that.

I agree they’re ridiculous. A pregnancy test is supposed to tell you if you’re pregnant, not ‘how pregnant’ you are. Those tests are manufactured of course for pure profit rather than clinical need (not that you’d expect anything different from a business), people buy loads of them to see progression whereas before they’d have just used a cheapie to see they were pregnant.

@VestaTilley

I’m inclined to agree; I think it just gets hopes up and is unhelpful- it can then lead to women being devastated a few days later.

I can understand wanting to know immediately so you can take vitamins/be healthy etc, but my advice would always be give up alcohol and the non-allowed foods anyway if you want to conceive, then if you think you’re pregnant test a few weeks later, and no harm will hopefully be done. Don’t test on what should be day two of your period.

Give up alcohol and the non allowed food 😂

What about people who TTC for years?

@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise

Like another pp, I like testing. I like knowing to expect my period. I like a degree of certainty around the disappointment.

I think there's a degree of privilege in not being an (or wanting to be a) early tester, or not having the anxiety surrounding conception or pregnancy. Whether it be because it wasn't available, because you conceived easily or because you're not an anxious person (or a control freak like me!).

I lost my DS2 at 21+4, I wish I'd celebrated him from the moment I got a positive test, I wish I'd done more private scans, I wish we had more to remember him with.

A lot of the responses on this thread come across with an element of smug judgemental unkindness.

I’m so, so sorry for your loss

@MotherPiglet

Its something I absolutely dont understand. YANBU. I just think it's such a waste of money.. why not just wait until your AF is due and then test if needs be!

When I was TTC, the boards where full of when are you testing and I never really understood then either..

You posted on page five: I really recommend reading the thread first. If you don’t understand then there are plenty of posts from women with a range of TTC experiences that will give you some insight.

Unless you just don’t care to try understand or want to.

@wheresmycrown

Also agree. I think it massively increases the anxiety in an already anxious time. If you're pregnant then you're pregnant. You will still be pregnant if you test a month after your missed period.

That is monumentally stupid. You can't really not understand biology to this degree?

It is useful to know. I am suffering from secondary infertility (one DC, been trying for another for 18 months). I had a couple of early positives and then nothing. I was eventually scanned at the EPU just in case one was ectopic and they found a large uterine polyp which is likely to be causing implantation issues as well as my very heavy periods since DC1. So I'm now waiting for surgery to have it removed. I wouldn't have had the scan without the early positives.

I tested early because as each day passed I got more and more hopeful and convinced myself each feeling I had was a pregnancy sign. When I wasn't pregnant, getting an early negative test sort of prepared me in advance for the period that was about to come.

@flashbac

I agree OP, and what a bloody waste of plastic! The horrible images of 3+ pregnancy tests laid out in a row with a "can you see a line?" No we flipping can't cos it's far too early love. There was one poster who planted a tree in memory of a 'loss' which was in reality a chemical pregnancy. I really had to sit in my hands to stop myself replying to that one. Glad she's planted a tree though I suppose (although it probably won't make up for all that plastic in landfill). If women are that anxious and testing multiple times and getting more anxious and upset the cortisol levels in the body mean pregnancy is going to be tougher to achieve in any case.

Disgusting comment.

@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry on your behalf that there are comments here from people mocking lost pregnancies.

The plastic waste comments are so disingenuous yet so typical of the MN need to moralise everything. There are many, many things we need to worry about regarding climate change before we look at pregnancy tests (hell, disposable sanitary protection and razors - and nappies - for a start, or even having a child at all if you're going to go down that route).

@GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom

The plastic waste comments are so disingenuous yet so typical of the MN need to moralise everything. There are many, many things we need to worry about regarding climate change before we look at pregnancy tests (hell, disposable sanitary protection and razors - and nappies - for a start, or even having a child at all if you're going to go down that route).

I'm more astounded by the person who is so cruel she had to "sit on her hands" to prevent herself being unkind to a poster who had just experienced an early pregnancy loss.

Wtf?!

This thread just highlights that some women (thankfully) just don't understand the heartache of struggling to conceive and pregnancy loss.

Some posters also seem to be of the view that pregnancy is something that should be kept quiet, you know, in case (whisper) something bad happens.

I know I've already shared my experience with early testing on this thread. It's a double-edged sword for me, I hate it but it is a necessary evil for me, if I want to have a baby, which I do.

Oh, and to the poster who said that it doesn't matter if you test when your period is due, or a month later - my baby was dead by that point, but my body didn't know - 3 times that has happened to me. Sometimes when you are pregnant, you don't get to keep that baby and a little bit of compassion and understanding goes a long way.

I tested early with three pregnancies, first baby found out seven days before AF was due as I was throwing up a lot so decided to test, second baby I felt off so tested and was eight days before AF was due and third I felt pregnant but had had a small bleed which unfortunately turned out to be a chemical pregnancy.

I did find it very helpful to know early. Also with my second baby I had severe bleeding and cramps which I got after my BFP and I wouldn't have got checked out at the pregnancy unit if I hadn't tested early. Baby was fine but took multiple blood tests and scans to know that.

There are a lot of stupid, stupid people on this thread who are so keen to come on and give their opinion that reading the thread doesn't cross their minds.
Over and over there have been REASONS given why testing can be advised or even essential in the case of recurrent losses or IVF. One medication I had to stop taking if pregnant and another I had to start. Early scans to check for ectopic pregnancies or whether another ERPC was required.
But no, just go on posting your "how ridiculous! I don't understand it so of course there can be no good reason!" posts.
Fuckers.

@ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown

There are a lot of stupid, stupid people on this thread who are so keen to come on and give their opinion that reading the thread doesn't cross their minds. Over and over there have been REASONS given why testing can be advised or even essential in the case of recurrent losses or IVF. One medication I had to stop taking if pregnant and another I had to start. Early scans to check for ectopic pregnancies or whether another ERPC was required. But no, just go on posting your "how ridiculous! I don't understand it so of course there can be no good reason!" posts. Fuckers.

It’s odd isn’t it that some posters go out of their way to advertise loudly how incredibly thick they are?

I don't get why or how it even affects anyone else? If someone wants to do 1 test on the day of their missed period, or if someone wants to do 17 tests 2 weeks before. How is it affecting anyone other than themselves?! Unbelievable judgmental tone on so many of these posts.