Unhelpful craze for early pregnancy testing

[LittleLottieChaos]

I think that there is a hugely unhelpful side to being on here. The early pregnancy testing craze... before discovering this notion of testing before a missed period I had quite happily waited and if my period arrived then I wasn’t pregnant, if it was a week late then I tested. (I have one toddler and sadly has one termination for medical reasons). Now after reading all those threads... even I was considering testing before my period & I did - it was as expected negative, and my period arrived 2 days later.

Does anyone else think that testing early is absolutely a stress and a waste of time? Of course it’s a negative you’re testing far too early. Why torture yourself?

Chuck in bad for the environment and a waste of money, these test making companies are rubbing their little hands together profiteering from suggestible desperate people.

Or am I misreading something? I know ‘each unto their own’ will be the response to this thread, but I would like to say to these lovely women, just stop doing it- you’ll be happier and you likely will conceive, testing repeatedly before a missed period is asking for disappointment.

(Duly note not a single acronym appeared in this post as they are also massively unhelpful)

Yes it drove my insane. I would have not known about 1 of my mc. Another I may have, 2 were later on. I guess I wouldn't know what role the testing had in mental state as I've not been pregnant without doing it. I have 2 daughter's now and those involved many tests and scans constantly.

OP isn’t starting a petition to forbid women buying pregnancy tests before their period due date.

She merely started a thread to discuss whether, overarchingly, very early testing is a help or a hindrance. Which isn’t unreasonable given the sheer amount it is discussed on this website.

Weighing in with your very individual circumstances and using them as a reason to berate people discussing the topic, is missing the point.

@Wondermule

OP isn’t starting a petition to forbid women buying pregnancy tests before their period due date.

She merely started a thread to discuss whether, overarchingly, very early testing is a help or a hindrance. Which isn’t unreasonable given the sheer amount it is discussed on this website.

Weighing in with your very individual circumstances and using them as a reason to berate people discussing the topic, is missing the point.

Well, she did say "I know ‘each unto their own’ will be the response to this thread, but I would like to say to these lovely women, just stop doing it".

Can't really be surprised if some of those 'lovely women' say actually, no, it is helpful to me and here is why?

Can't really be surprised if some of those 'lovely women' say actually, no, it is helpful to me and here is why?

Of course not, but ‘fuckers’ is a ridiculously OTT reply from one of those lovely women.

@flashbac

I agree OP, and what a bloody waste of plastic! The horrible images of 3+ pregnancy tests laid out in a row with a "can you see a line?" No we flipping can't cos it's far too early love. There was one poster who planted a tree in memory of a 'loss' which was in reality a chemical pregnancy. I really had to sit in my hands to stop myself replying to that one. Glad she's planted a tree though I suppose (although it probably won't make up for all that plastic in landfill). If women are that anxious and testing multiple times and getting more anxious and upset the cortisol levels in the body mean pregnancy is going to be tougher to achieve in any case.

The amount of plastic someone uses while TTC is negligible in the grand scheme of things, and this is a monstrously uncharitable post.

I personally don't think it's helpful, but each to their own. I don't mean that women should wait until their period is very late -maybe testing on the day it's due, or a day or so before, but where it pushes the boundaries of a reliable result.

If it's negative, then actually it may not be negative, but too early, so it tells you nothing conclusive.

If it's positive, then at that stage it's likely to be a squinter, so may not actually be positive at all, but people egging you on that it is.

Basically,I think personally it's too early if you've got to adjust the lighting, contrast, and ask people if it's positive. Waiting until your period is due should make the result either way, abundantly obvious, and avoids ambiguity.

@Wondermule

Can't really be surprised if some of those 'lovely women' say actually, no, it is helpful to me and here is why?

Of course not, but ‘fuckers’ is a ridiculously OTT reply from one of those lovely women.

Yeah, but that was at the posters saying "how ridiculous! I just can't understand why anyone would do such a silly thing!" after about five pages of people with various medical conditions, histories of infertility and miscarriages and so on explaining why they did. 'Fuckers' might be going a bit far for you but it does come across as rather astoundingly blinkered.

YABU
I have found it very helpful to know by testing early that I am having multiple chemical pregnancies, as well as having normal miscarriage as it points us more clearly to what the issues might be. We seem to conceive ok but the issues happen at implantation (so sperm/egg quality or the uterine environment). My fertility clinic said this was helpful information to have. Knowledge is power. At 38 ttc#1 we don’t have the luxury of bimbling about for years.

@GoldenOmber Op never said that.

Yes it is ridiculous. And it also makes some people effectively go through the emotional process of a ‘miscarriage’ when they test 3 days before their period, get a faint positive, and then period arrives anyway

Yes. I know a woman who tells people she has had multiple miscarriages, she lights candles and talks about "her babies" and spills it all over FB. I happen to know she actually had an extended habit of early testing, convincing herself there were lines when there weren't, and then saying it was a m/c when she got her period a few days later.

I try to just feel sorry for her but when she pipes up "me too" whenever anyone mentions their actual, sometimes late, m/c, its actually quite offensive.

[quote Wondermule]@GoldenOmber Op never said that.[/quote]
And ‘fuckers’ wasn’t directed at her.

Yes. I know a woman who tells people she has had multiple miscarriages, she lights candles and talks about "her babies" and spills it all over FB. I happen to know she actually had an extended habit of early testing, convincing herself there were lines when there weren't, and then saying it was a m/c when she got her period a few days later.

I try to just feel sorry for her but when she pipes up "me too" whenever anyone mentions their actual, sometimes late, m/c, its actually quite offensive.

You might try for a bit more empathy. Yes, it's not the same, but she is grieving being unable to have a child. It's not a competition in misery.

YANBU
I keep seeing posts about being four weeks pregnant. And thinking you mean your period is due.

@GoldenOmber it was directed at everyone who has said early testing can be a bad idea. Including OP. Unnecessarily aggressive given the topic at hand.

You might try for a bit more empathy. Yes, it's not the same, but she is grieving being unable to have a child. It's not a competition in misery

She has 2! She's a grief vampire, she likes the idea of being a "bereaved parent". She has no empathy for the people she upsets by comparing her imagined losses with their actual losses.

@AtSwimTwoBerts

You might try for a bit more empathy. Yes, it's not the same, but she is grieving being unable to have a child. It's not a competition in misery

She has 2! She's a grief vampire, she likes the idea of being a "bereaved parent". She has no empathy for the people she upsets by comparing her imagined losses with their actual losses.

I expect that if early testing didn't exist, she would find some other way to appropriate pregnancy/baby loss. Every time she had a period that was a day late, or pretending her cycle is shorter than it is to engineer it.

I think from your post you probably don't understand why some women test early or haven't been in their shoes.

I have had trouble conceiving and had miscarriages. When we were trying to conceive by testing early (even a couple of days before period was due) would put me out of my misery and the desperate wait.

I think there are lots of women who find them useful for a number of reasons.

My personal experience with them was that I tested early and got a negative. I was sad and disappointed and hit the booze and the rare meat. Then tested when my period was due and got a positive and then felt extremely anxious about everything I’d eaten and drunk.

So I feel in my case they weren’t helpful - (my fault, I don’t think I understood their limitations) but from reading the thread I can entirely see why there is a place for them.

I don't think it's a problem. I tested early with all 3 of my pregnancies (one of which ended in mc). I knew I was pregnant. It's super obvious for me well before a missed period. I was nauseous and felt awful from 5 dpo with the youngest one, even though I didn't actually get a positive test until 16 dpo. I was grateful to know rather than live in suspense, stressed and waiting. But I've never taken early tests any other months than when it was super obvious I was pregnant. I didn't need to. I didn't feel pregnant and there was nothing to check for. I used them to confirm as soon as possible what I already knew. I think if it's a source of anxiety, you just have to step away though and exert some self-control and put healthy boundaries in place. I'm conscious that ttc can be stressful but people do need to be sensible and take care of themselves. I don't think the pressure to not do that is because of early tests though.

Did it take you a long time to conceive? I think desperate takes over, or it did in my case.

Thank you, @GoldenOmber that is what I meant.

Yes it's ok to ask, but when post after post gives an answer it would be polite for others to read them before giving another dismissive reply. I think that is what is so unreasonable - the dismissive, you're just making trouble for yourself, I never had any of these worries type posts.
I think having a total empathy bypass should be called out. I'm at peace with my rmcs now but others reading this may still be in the throes of it and it's so insulting to them.

@Wolfiefan

YANBU I keep seeing posts about being four weeks pregnant. And thinking you mean your period is due.

No, 4 weeks pregnant is a thing. My period would be due when I was only 3 weeks and 4 days pregnant.

Does it make you feel better to belittle early pregnancy? Does it not count for you?

It was catastrophic for my mental health, so I had to stop. To the extent that I didn’t test when I was pregnant with DS2, until more than 3 weeks after my period was due (cycle was all over the place, which didn’t help).

But each to their own I guess? If you’re having a lot of chemicals that can be important information to know.

Completely right op! I didn't actually test for dd1, just booked an appointment with my gp once I was 2 weeks late. With dd2 I did a test once I was about a week late.

I like many people can be 2-3 days either side of my normal cycle (typically 29 days for me) so seems little point in testing under a week. In fact I was over a month late last month and I didn't test because I'm in my late 40's on birth control and alas perimenopausal - I did look at the tests but they were £8 in the pharmacy

@Rainbowroads

Yes it is ridiculous. And it also makes some people effectively go through the emotional process of a ‘miscarriage’ when they test 3 days before their period, get a faint positive, and then period arrives anyway. Women then feel like they have had something taken away whereas if no one was encouraging them to test early then they’d never know and the rates of chemical pregnancies are probably much higher than 1 in 4. You’re right also that companies producing the testing kits are the ones really benefitting here.

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