Messaging somebody's fiancé

[namechanged03]

Hello

So about 5 years ago, I started talking to somebody via Twitter which then turned flirty, made plans to meet etc but wasn't right but we've stayed "internet friends" since.

He's now engaged with a baby and NOTHING has been remotely flirty since about 4 years ago.

Occasionally he'll put a story or picture on his Instagram of his fiancé and kids I always like it etc, lovely to see him happy bla bla.

I've got a partner, no secrets, he goes on my phone quite often to check something if his phones out of battery, it's got no passcode nothing to hide.

Anyway, last night I put on my Instagram a recipe for my home made macaroni cheese and said guy messaged me and said "hi how are you? Stolen the receipt for Mac cheese looks amazing" I replied "I'm good thanks how are you? How is (sons and fiancées name) hope you're all well!" He replied "we are great thank you!" I double tapped it to like it.

Well this morning I've woken up to a friend request from her and he's unfollowed me and taken me off his followers! I haven't accepted her friend request yet as I imagine she's not going to be happy due to the fact he's unfollowed etc I imagine she's seen these messages and isn't happy.

Other private messages included me congratulating him and her on birth of baby etc nothing at all dodgy, no kisses or anything.

Just want to get some perspective. Shall I accept her as she obviously wants to talk to me?

For the record he doesn't ever like any photos unless it's of my dog or me and my partner.

I feel anxious to accept her as I don't want any drama and certainly didn't mean to cause any upset between them. I asked my partner and he just said to delete her friends request and get on with it.

What would you guys do?

I wouldn’t accept. There is absolutely nothing to be gained by doing so.

No. She probably just wants to have a snoop. See your relationship status look at your pictures etc. Just leave it. He's unfollowed you now so just don't speak to him again. Not worth the faff.

Nah, don't accept it. Just leave it in limbo!

Doesn't sound like you have anything at all to hide, OP.

What's your friend / follower policy? If it's quite loose, what's the harm in accepting her?

Don't add someone you don't know. She probably did it by accident.

I wouldn't accept her request. You've done nothing wrong! I'd do exactly as your partner said, delete her request and that's it. If he messages in the future, I wouldn't reply. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

Well I don't add anyone I don't know so I wouldn't anyway

Thanks everyone

I have my Instagram on private, same as my Facebook as have pictures of me with friends children etc so don't accept anybody I don't know (apart from him but after 5 years trusted him enough to have him on there).

I know she hasn't added me by accident as he's suddenly removed me off everything and she's sent me a request (she can't message without being a follower of mine) so I'm guessing she's not happy,

Don't accept, block and move away .
Why are you communicating with him/her?
Just leave them be.

I wouldn't add her. That's the actions of someone who is very insecure.
Anything you do here is a losing situation.
Add her? She'll scroll through your feed looking for 'evidence' of whatever she has decided is going on, or find something to sling at her fiance in an argument. Or she'll message you full of silly accusations, or doing the technological equivalent of pissing on her territory.

Don't add her and she'll probably conclude you didn't accept her request because you have something to hide, and then she'll probably concoct some story where you must have been throwing yourself at her man.

It's easier to avoid.

Also would avoid

Is your picture you and your partner? Maybe she thinks your after him?

Just decline

Actually you can message on Facebook without being friends and following

I’ve had and sent several over the years

Of course you should not accept it, no good will come of it.

I would accept. Maybe she‘S feeling insecure and will message, but you can tell her the truth about your friendship. Surely that’s just the nice thing to do?

Do not accept her request. You may be opening yourself to all kinds of drama. For what? Avoid.

My Facebook account is set that so nobody can message me unless on my friends request - same as on my Instagram.

No my profile picture is a picture I took of a view in Italy.

Something inside of me says to accept her, take the questions or maybe even an earful and reply that I have zero feelings for her fiancée and I'm happily in a relationship of over 2 years etc. I'd hate to think I've caused a falling out between them or if she is insecure, maybe I could put her mind at rest.

But, I will go with the majority including my partner and decline.

I would accept, something may have happened to him (unlikely, but possible).

I may not message back, but I'm too nosy not to see what she wanted.

I wouldn’t accept her I’d block and delete.

I'd accept. If she messages I would reassure her nothing was going on but keep the dialogue short and if she asks you not to contact I'd oblige - he's probably getting hell for it and she's probably in agony thinking the worst

I would accept as she's probably worried and wants to ask you a few questions to put her mind at ease. Although going on what you've said it's nothing flirty and you could just be an ex colleague.

I would ignore it.
You don't know her

@Yellowfish2020 see this is my worry, if I can put her mind at rest then I'd like to.

I have no issues going no contact with him if his fiancée isn't happy with it, of course. I'd never want to cause unhappiness in somebody's relationship.

I wouldn’t add her, she sounds batshit.

If someone posted on here that their partner had made them unfollow and block a friend of five years because they’d talked about a macaroni cheese recipe on Instagram everyone would be saying LTB.

But people want you to accept her request so you can reassure her there is nothing going on because she must be in agony over it?!

Block her, she won’t believe a word you say anyway so no point wasting time or effort on it.

Your poor friend.

Isnt it more likely that she has been in his account and unfollowed you etc, and now she wants to 'have a word's?