To feel weird about buying pre worn clothes

[unikitty08]

DC is starting nursery next month.

A few friends have told me how messy his clothes are going to get and not to send him in anything expensive.

I was talking to one friend about buying him a puddle suit and she recommended ebay.

She told me she buys a lot of her daughters clothes (especially for nursery) in bundles and they are “pre loved”

I was surprised about this as her daughter is always dressed in Next, Zara, Gap. Brands I would consider to be that bit more pricey.

When I was growing up, to buy second hand or use charity shops etc was a big no no.
It was viewed as though you didn’t have money or couldn’t afford nice things.

I don’t have this view of other people, particularly not now as an adult, but I do have this view of myself if I were to buy pre worn clothes.

I’ve had a look at some clothes bundles this evening and I’m shocked at some of the lovely things I could get, the puddle suit id seen for nursery, which brand new is £35, I can get pre worn worn for £5!

I don’t think I can bring myself to buy pre worn though, I feel weird about it, like I’m “hard up” or
a bit trampy.

I feel really envious now of the people that clothes shop this way, it would save me a fortune!

How can I get past my weird feelings?

What do you think then OP? Going to give it a go

I’ve bid on the puddle suit.... 😬
Once you've got a great bargain theres no going back!!!😂😂😂

Op dont forget, if you get good branded clothes you can sell them on as well once you've finished with them.

If money is tight, you'll get over those feelings very quickly.

If you want to get past your feelings on the matter, think about what situation would make it more acceptable for you. e.g. Would you feel the same if a good friend offered you some of the clothes their child had outgrown? If not, just tell yourself you're buying from a mate. Once you've had a good experience at buying good quality second hand clothes, you may find your old thoughts become less prominent.

I would second your friend's suggestion not to send your child to nursery in anything you don't mind getting ruined. If you don't want to buy second hand clothes, wait for the shops to open (if you're somewhere in lockdown) and buy cheap clothes from primark or somewhere similar. My experience was that my child's clothes got covered in paint and god knows what, mainly from other kids wiping their hands on him / bumping into him etc. And no matter what it says on crayola paints about them being washable, if the clothes aren't instantly stripped off and washed, that stain is staying there for good!

It’s very eco friendly and fashionable to buy secondhand clothes nowadays.

Buying from Primark or sweatshop brands or disposable fashion brands is frowned upon in many circles!

I bought most of DD’s nursery clothes preloved, in great condition, some had hardly been worn. If you stick to good quality brands like Boden, Joules, Polarn O Pyret, Frugi etc they last well and wash well. I sold most of hers on too, as they have great re sale value.

I never bought anything with stains or holes, and made sure they were from a smoke free, pet free home. And washed them in Dettol laundry cleanser when they arrived.

Well bite the bullet, buy something pretty loved cheap then see what you think. What's the worst that could possibly happen?

Pre loved not pretty loved!! Crappy auto correct!

Can you reframe it to yourself as being ‘clever’, like it’s a bit of a sneaky trick for you to get something for a bargain. And remind yourself you don’t need to do it. (But if you did that would be fine too.)
I used to get nicer second hand stuff than I would have got new. So, second hand Boden rather than new supermarket.

Agree it’s PP. Much prefer to buy Frugi and Jo Jo second hand, compared to brand new Primark. When they’re babies they grow out of stuff so quickly it’s barely been worn. We’re well off, just trying to be sensible and eco friendly. I’m afraid the stigma is only in your mind.

@notacooldad

What do you think then OP? Going to give it a go

I’ve bid on the puddle suit.... 😬
Once you've got a great bargain theres no going back!!!😂😂😂

Agree 100%! You might get some duds but overall you'll be amazed at what you can get.

Hooray OP! You made the bid!

My youngest was/is pretty much fully kitted out in second hand stuff. (I buy new pants, tights, vests and school shoes.) We can easily afford new but she has so many lovely things passed on (we were the last of our friends to have a girl) and eba y has been a great source for once in a while stuff like party dressea and wetsuits.

Great for the environment as PPs have said. After fuel pollution, textile pollution is one of the biggest offenders.

I get quite a bit of my smart workwear from Ebay and no one has guessed. I have loads of Karen Millen, LK Bennett and I look the business!

Absolutely no help to the Op but Christ I miss a good charity shop mooch. I'll be queueing outside the BHF door when they re-open, I need some new bedside cabinets.

@TheCatWithTheFluffyTail

Where I live it’s the wealthy who buy second hand and the poor who buy brand new.

^This, definitely.

I bought/ swapped and consequently sold/ passed on a mix of both new and second hand equipment, toys and clothes, absolutely normal in my circles. I used to help out at NCT sales, and another version of kids clothing sales.
The people who attended were mainly for want of a better description the ‘better off’, who could have afforded new but chose not to.
The people who really would have benefitted would not use or buy in a second hand sale sadly, as in their eyes there was a stigma to second hand. ‘Pre loved’

What also gets me is when I lived in a more affluent area all the schools did a second hand uniform shop.

Here, where there is a huge level of deprivation and unemployment, it's practically unheard of. When I took Dd to look around her new school I asked in the office if they had second hand uniform and they said no, but did I need help with applying for any benefits.

It's so odd here. Everyone is kitted out in new stuff, flash cars.

Dd has grown over lockdown and I'm loathe to spend out on brand new school cardigans and jumpers. Her old school you could go to the second hand she'd every Friday and pick them up for £2.

I find something vaguely off putting in immaculately put together toddlers in brand new outfits.

I had a whale of a time as a toddler, and going by the vast amounts of documentary evidence I was either naked or wearing second hand clothes. I was the youngest of four. You only got shoes that were your own.

It just seems like unnecessarily rushing to the image heavy stages of adulthood. Clean, comfortable and practical is so much nicer to see on toddlers than mini adult clothing.

I haven’t thrown away any of his clothes. They’re all vacuum packed in storage bags.
Glad to see you're at least contemplating putting the next child in them. But what do you think you'll do with them once you've had your last child?

Yabu obviously. I was brought up wearing hand-me-downs and I buy almost all of my clothes from eBay nowadays, don’t have DC yet but when I finally do I certainly will buy their clothes second hand too. It’s so much better for the environment than buying everything new. The only things I buy new are underwear obviously and shoes because they have been broken in to the shape of someone else’s feet so it’s hard to get them to fit. I only have 5 pairs of shoes though so it’s not like I buy them regularly.

No one is forced to buy second hand, with the likes of Primark you can buy a kid an outfit for next to nothing. However for pricier items that aren't really worth the money you can get them a lot cheaper second hand. I've bought clothing bundles on Ebay and I've exchanged children's clothes with friends. It just stops things going to waste and if they're still in good condition and look nice, another kid can wear them. I don't see a problem as long as the clothes fit and are in good condition. When kids go into the teenage years that's when it matters more as they want to fit in with friends and wear certain brands and you can't always get away with buying second hand.

90% of my kids clothes are second hand. We're a high income household, I could afford to buy them brand new but I don't see the point. It's better environmentally and my DC get play clothes ripped and stained so quickly. I buy big bundles and get bags off friends. Some are 3rd or 4th hand. How other peoples kids keep them clean and in good condition I'll never know!

I hated second hand as a teenager. I was curious but would feel ashamed. Now as an adult I have an Instagram just to brag about my second hand finds. Soo much better for the environment. I find the cheap fast fashion stuff is just false economy. Primark just doesn't last. I'd rather buy something quality second hand. I've got a 4 year old with an amazing wardrobe, doesn't bother me if he stains something as it costs next to nothing to buy kids stuff second hand. Also old clothes make great cleaning rags chopped up, so they get another lease of life.

My baby is due any day now!

I haven’t got anything new other than the pram and the car seat!

I got a bag of newborn clothes from a friend and bought some bundles on eBay! I got given a few new blankets and things from family

I really don’t see myself buying new clothes for probably the first year! They wear them for such a short time

We could afford new clothes, but I don’t see the need to buy new - it’s bad for the environment - an trying to be as eco as possible with this baby so want to use as much reusable stuff rather than single use stuff as possible!!

I hope you get over this and start being able to buy second hand

There will be stopping you now you've started OP.
Double check they come from a smoke free clean home, don't be afraid to ask if not advertised.
I bought a jacket it still had a smell after a few washes it was for the bin.

I almost have the opposite. I love frugi clothing for my two girls, but the full price is very high (£30 for a dress for a baby). I buy a lot of frugi in sales and second hand. If someone asks me where their clothes are I would say "its frugi but I got it in the sale/second hand". I actually wouldn't want people thinking I had bought it full price because they would think I'm an idiot for spending that sort of money.

Blimey - I think most people who like their kids to wear better quality clothes buy and sell second hand - kids wear them for 5 minutes, and if they are good quality they last for years.

All my friends do this, and (if this matters to you) my friendship group is mostly very middle class (independent schools etc) - this was equally true when we were kids, our mothers did the same. There is no point spending money on expensive kids clothes when you could be putting it into school fees / mortgage / wine,

Get on eBay now - you’ll get much nicer stuff for less, and you’ll be doing the planet a favour.

@Fuckadoodledoooo

What also gets me is when I lived in a more affluent area all the schools did a second hand uniform shop.

Here, where there is a huge level of deprivation and unemployment, it's practically unheard of. When I took Dd to look around her new school I asked in the office if they had second hand uniform and they said no, but did I need help with applying for any benefits.

It's so odd here. Everyone is kitted out in new stuff, flash cars.

Dd has grown over lockdown and I'm loathe to spend out on brand new school cardigans and jumpers. Her old school you could go to the second hand she'd every Friday and pick them up for £2.

I think this is exactly it.

And it’s so sad because people who have less money are spending more.

What also gets me is when I lived in a more affluent area all the schools did a second hand uniform shop.

Yes, my kids private school has a thriving second hand uniform shop. Yet the state school nearby it's a thing of shame to have to get second hand uniform.