To expect my 11 year old to be able to a watch strap on?

[SeldomFollowedIt]

So I lost my temper this evening.

My son bought a Fitbit out of his Christmas money (the one suitable for kids) and he can’t put it on. It’s just a watch strap, so AIBU to expect at age 11 he should be able to do this?

As far as I know he hasn’t got dyspraxia or anything but he was trying for hours today (and I mean hours). I’ve showed him how to put it on, but he’s all fingers and thumbs and honestly it looks painful to watch.

I refuse to put it on for him. Surely I am not asking for too much? Why can’t he do this?

Crikey I thought you wanted your child to watch strap-ons. Looks like we all make mistakes OP, maybe don’t be so hard on your kid

@SeldomFollowedIt My daughter sounds very similar to your son, so I'm watching this thread with interest. She has extremely neat writing and can draw very well, but some things (doing up a stiff buckle, tying shoelaces, putting on a watch or badge) have taken so much longer for her to do than others. Her balance seems to be slightly off, too - teaching her to ride a bike was painful and took, literally, years. She gets wobbly legged climbing over a gate.

We've found that demonstrating the stages and talking her through an action before she tries it herself helps as she becomes very panicky and tearful if she feels she's getting nowhere.

DD is now 13 and has been flagged as possibly on the autism spectrum, which I believe is often comorbid with dyspraxia or balance issues?

So glad this thread is not what I thought.

As far as I know he hasn’t got dyspraxia or anything but he was trying for hours today (and I mean hours). I’ve showed him how to put it on, but he’s all fingers and thumbs and honestly it looks painful to watch.

@SeldomFollowedIt Well, maybe he does have dyspraxia then.

If he can't do it he can't do it. It's not like he hasn't tried, he's tried for ages.

He's really struggling to do it, it's not his fault.

Maybe he does have dyspraxia but also everyone has some things they just randomly find harder than other people.

I refuse to put it on for him. Surely I am not asking for too much? Why can’t he do this?

I find it nasty your attitude when he genuinely can't do a thing.

I totally read that title wrong

@TheMoth

It's painful watching ds to anything like that. He's same age. I have learned to bite my tongue, because he gets there eventually, but there is a lot of space between a and b. I let him make cheese on toast. He cut the bread into strips first. Why? 'Cos that's how it comes. ' "Now turn the gas off. " "I can't. It's stuck, it won't turn. " "Turn it the other way then. " "But it's stuck! What other way?" blank look of incomprension/despair "The opposite. Way. Turn your hand left. "

Oh, god, this could be our house!

Is it because he's never had a watch before? I remember it taking me a while to get it as a kid.

@Userg1234

Not true although I know exactly why you would think that. We have told our son the statistics of him “making it” are something like 0.5 percent. He knows his first priority is his school work. Not all boys who play in academies fit your stereotype.

I simply mentioned it because I didn’t know if he was being lazy or if it was possible to have dyspraxia whilst also being good at sport.

[quote SignOnTheWindow]@SeldomFollowedIt My daughter sounds very similar to your son, so I'm watching this thread with interest. She has extremely neat writing and can draw very well, but some things (doing up a stiff buckle, tying shoelaces, putting on a watch or badge) have taken so much longer for her to do than others. Her balance seems to be slightly off, too - teaching her to ride a bike was painful and took, literally, years. She gets wobbly legged climbing over a gate.

We've found that demonstrating the stages and talking her through an action before she tries it herself helps as she becomes very panicky and tearful if she feels she's getting nowhere.

DD is now 13 and has been flagged as possibly on the autism spectrum, which I believe is often comorbid with dyspraxia or balance issues?[/quote]
Sorry - I wasn't trying to diagnose your son, though that's how it seems to read!

@dementedma

I can’t tie shoelaces in the “normal” loop way. I have to do two loops and tie them in a knot. I’m 57.

I do that too. I never mastered it. There’s a way around most things.

@SignOnTheWindow

No don’t worry, thank you for responding to me :)

I found your post interesting.

My 11 could not do this. I bought a special pull on band from the start because I knew it was going to happen. She does have a diagnosis.

He can’t do it. It must be frustrating for him too. It’s not ok to get annoyed by that really.

@SoulofanAggron

Yes I could have been kinder today. Bad day. Tomorrow is going to be a better day.

@TheMoth

That sounds very familiar.

DS plays academy level footie but has never mastered things like this. Had no patience for Lego because it's too fiddly. I think maybe they're so used to using their feet they haven't developed skills with their hands?

[quote SeldomFollowedIt]@peach1234

Because kids need to learn to do things for themselves surely? I totally get what you’re saying but my son would literally let me do everything for him if I took that stance.[/quote]
If it went on for hours you should of helped him. It’s a bit cruel.

I simply mentioned it because I didn’t know if he was being lazy or if it was possible to have dyspraxia whilst also being good at sport.

I'm sure someone can have ok gross motor skills and still have difficulties with manual dexterity.

You were effectively pulling faces at him for not being able to do a thing. It's not someone's fault if they aren't able to do a thing at some point, or get something wrong. Sorry but it smacks of when my dad yelled 'YOU STUPID GIRL!' for accidentally dropping the coffee jar.

How do you think how you reacted made him feel about himself?

How do you think it made him feel about whether you are someone he can turn to for emotional support?

@converseandjeans

Funny you should say that, as me and DH just said he would never touch the Lego sets family members would buy him. Never had the patience for it either.

It is hard when you have a kid who really can't seem to do the most basic of things, yet is sharp in other ways.

Ds read fairly early and takes an interest in the news etc. Dd is not a reader and cares only for talking shit with her mates.

But I know which one will survive a zombie apocalypse, whilst the other one is still wandering about with odd shoes on and their clothes inside out and back to front.

@SoulofanAggron

I simply mentioned it because I didn’t know if he was being lazy or if it was possible to have dyspraxia whilst also being good at sport.

I'm sure someone can have ok gross motor skills and still have difficulties with manual dexterity.

You were effectively pulling faces at him for not being able to do a thing. It's not someone's fault if they aren't able to do a thing at some point, or get something wrong. Sorry but it smacks of when my dad yelled 'YOU STUPID GIRL!' for accidentally dropping the coffee jar.

How do you think how you reacted made him feel about himself?

How do you think it made him feel about whether you are someone he can turn to for emotional support?

What you said about your dad, that was the kind of thing that went on in our house a lot. I hid the fact that I could not do many things at school or struggled with them because we were all terrified of his anger, so I do sympathise.

Velcro is your friend. I'm sure fitbit do other straps.

@LordOfTheOnionRings

Phew. I misread the title. Carry on.

Me too. I was like who thinks watching a strap on is OK for a child.

Eh so yeah maybe would expect her to be able to do this.

@SoulofanAggron

I get where you are coming from but I did not call him any names, and these days are few and far between in my household (thankfully). I’m not perfect but thankfully I am able to reflect on my behaviour, and do better. I am sorry you were shamed as a child. This was just one bad day for us.

He’s my oldest and I am trying to get the balance right.

I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it or pathologise him, with time and patience he will likely get the hang of it. I struggled with using a knife and fork and left and right etc as a child as well as shoelaces and although I never overcame the shoelaces thing I use utensils normally and know my left and right pretty well...

As pp mentioned, suggest he tries the other wrist. I'm right-handed yet wear my watch on my right wrist. I can do the strap up with my right hand, if I concentrate, but it's much easier with my left.