To expect my 11 year old to be able to a watch strap on?

[SeldomFollowedIt]

So I lost my temper this evening.

My son bought a Fitbit out of his Christmas money (the one suitable for kids) and he can’t put it on. It’s just a watch strap, so AIBU to expect at age 11 he should be able to do this?

As far as I know he hasn’t got dyspraxia or anything but he was trying for hours today (and I mean hours). I’ve showed him how to put it on, but he’s all fingers and thumbs and honestly it looks painful to watch.

I refuse to put it on for him. Surely I am not asking for too much? Why can’t he do this?

Sorry OP, crossposted! Hope tomorrow is better.

Tried different ways etc as I know people do things differently.

I guess people struggle with different things. He has a tendency to give up quickly so letting him crack on and practise can work but today he just couldn’t do it.

I’ve read all your comments and took them on board. Thank you all.

Hours of practice at what age to tie shoe laces OP? That would be about right and normal at age 5. Hours of practice at age 10 to get the same skill would be odd, though.

Persist a bit longer with good old fashioned patient, step by step teaching of the watch strap while keeping an eye out for other possible red flags. You’d probably have to go private since he’s functioning pretty highly otherwise, so you’d want evidence that there’s issues elsewhere, in case he does just have some odd isolated watch strap motor planning issue.

You are absolutely being unreasonable to watch your child try to do something for hours and lose your temper when he can’t . He sounds like a hard working, determined kid.

@nevertrustaherdofcows

My ds (20) cannot tie a tie, or shoelaces, or buckle a watch strap. he is dyspraxic.

I still can't tie mine and am late 30s. could do a watch strap but actually telling the time really difficult until I was at s secondary school. Can't read maps, drive a car, maths very difficult.

No diagnosis. Just very bad at anything requiring spatial awareness. School did want me tested because of my maths issues (suspected dyscalculia) but parents refused said they would try discipline instead. They never knew about the shoelaces, I was terrified of them finding out in case I got punished, physically or verbally.

I do have a degree so I suspect am not lacking intelligence completely but I did really struggle at school massively and have always thought I have something!

Nobody knows about my shoelaces. I will take it to my grave!

Yeah I totally misread the title about getting your 11yo to watch a strap-on.

I didn’t physically watch over him the whole time. I have been unreasonable though.

@ElphabaTheGreen

It took him hours of practise at age 10. He really wanted to do it himself as his football coach refused to do them for him, and I am not always at training with him, hence why he tried for days himself.

@AndeanMountainCat

Yeah I totally misread the title about getting your 11yo to watch a strap-on.

Lol! So did I, hence why I clicked on it!

Christ alive I thought this was about something else entirely. That’ll teach me to skim read titles.

Oh dear..... yes not a great title 🤦‍♀️

Crikey, I thought that this post was going to be about dodgy TV viewing!

Sorry I’m actually pmsl at the title and so glad others thought the same as me. My DH is asking what’s so funny and the confused look on his face is making me worse. I don’t have anything constructive to add but thanks for the giggles

DD took till she was 11 or 12 to do her laces properly. She could do them but they'd be loose. Some people aren't great at these things...others find it easy.

Ok so he can kick a football in a straight line. He's in a pro academy. Is he a) being lazy cos sooner or later mummy will do it. B) believes that mummy should do it or c) really can't do it.

As a man my vote is B. He's been bought up to believe that he is better than other boys so rules don't apply to him. I expect that dad is filling his head will billions about how he w will support the family....

Stand behind him and using your hands put the strap on him. Tell him to watch your hands while you fit it on his wrist.

Could he practice the doing the strap up around a toilet roll tube or something? Then when he's figured out how it closes try on himself.
He sounds like a persistent child but it must be frustrating for him. Go easy on both of you tomorrow.

@Userg1234

Ok so he can kick a football in a straight line. He's in a pro academy. Is he a) being lazy cos sooner or later mummy will do it. B) believes that mummy should do it or c) really can't do it.

As a man my vote is B. He's been bought up to believe that he is better than other boys so rules don't apply to him. I expect that dad is filling his head will billions about how he w will support the family....

He is 11! Bit young to have an attitude like that!

Why would he think he is better than others? He likely got into a good school due to being bright or working hard.

Af that age I'd been wearing a watch every day for two, maybe three years (I'm old, it was normal to have a watch when I was a kid) but if hes not used to it then he needs to practice. Just give him time

@Userg1234

Ok so he can kick a football in a straight line. He's in a pro academy. Is he a) being lazy cos sooner or later mummy will do it. B) believes that mummy should do it or c) really can't do it.

As a man my vote is B. He's been bought up to believe that he is better than other boys so rules don't apply to him. I expect that dad is filling his head will billions about how he w will support the family....

I actually think that the current generation of children has lower self esteem than previous generations. No one feels that secure today, in the socio-economic climate we are in...

@Symbion

Can you not just be a bit nicer to him? Break it down into smaller steps for him. Help him figure it out.

My thoughts. You seem angry he cant do it. My son 13 finds things like that hard but its the way he is, lots of encouragement and kindness.

Rofl, so glad im not the only one who misread the title.

DD (9) is a leftie, as am I. . Like me when I was young she wears her watch on her right hand as it is easier. As a adult, I wear mine on my left wrist but it's a bracelet strap. Might be an idea to change wrists.

Tbh, I could out my own watch on when I was around 7.

I agree with a PP - what wrist is he trying to put it on? He might see you wearing you watch on your left wrist and be trying the same but really should be trying it on his right (as a left hander). I'm not dyspraxic but am still horrible at performing fine-motor tasks with the wrong hand.

It's painful watching ds to anything like that. He's same age. I have learned to bite my tongue, because he gets there eventually, but there is a lot of space between a and b.
I let him make cheese on toast. He cut the bread into strips first. Why? 'Cos that's how it comes. '
"Now turn the gas off. "
"I can't. It's stuck, it won't turn. "
"Turn it the other way then. "
"But it's stuck! What other way?"
blank look of incomprension/despair
"The opposite. Way. Turn your hand left. "