To ask nursery to cut their grapes into quarters?

[AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps]

So, DD14m attends nursery.

They give fruit snacks out each day.

They cut grapes in half lengthwise. (I know this for gross reasons 😷)

I tend to do quarters for safety, as per advice.

AIBU to ask them to cut the grapes into quarters??? Or am I being precious 🥺😳

I wouldn’t, they’ll be busy enough and following safety guidelines which is to cut them lengthways. It wouldn’t go down well

I still cut grapes for my six year old. If any child was going to choke, he'd be the one. He's a walking accident book!

I stopped giving them to the kids when I discovered my three year old had been trying to kill my favourite dog by feeding them to him. £200 of vets bills later and the only grapes allowed in our house are fermented.

Eek.i stopped cutting my 4 year olds grapes a few months ago.

I think it's more of a risk with toddlers who arent given table foods and are used to blended/soft food. DC who are used to chewing their food properly know how to chew grapes just like any other food.

YANBU - you're paying for your child to be in nursery so if you would prefer they cut the grapes in quarters, it's not exactly much extra effort for the nursery team to do?

My DC is 17 months old and I still quarter her grapes & tomatoes. It's a habit now, I've been doing it since she was about 7 months old!

Having had to resuscitate a child who choked, taking a few seconds to cut grapes for any child in my care doesn't seem too much of a burden. Choking happens in the blink of an eye and is often pretty silent, grapes are a perfect 'plug' for the windpipe and do not easily budge or dissolve, why take the risk.

No, but you can easily say your child shouldn’t be given their fruit snacks and the ones you provide and then cut them into quarters yourself.

I must admit it never occurred to me to cut grapes for my children until I started working in nursery. They are teenagers now and know to bite grapes in half.
We have an 8 month old and he hasn't tried grapes yet but when he does I'll be slicing them.

They're slippery buggers and the right shape to cut off an air supply.
I bite my own grape in half before I pop it in. I'm accident prone and could easily swallow without chewing properly.

I would ask the nursery to cut them into quarters OP, I do the same with grapes and sausages. I’m also horrified by the person saying that nurseries let the children eat off other children’s plates. Especially since my DS has allergies.

True at 9 mine could bake cakes and prepare pasta meals from scratch.

From scratch as in from flour, egg and water or as in putting some dried pasta in hot water? @minniemoocher

@TheChippendenSpook

Even adults can choke on grapes. At our first aid refresher every year at work, we get told that ideally everyone should cut them in half before eating them.

That’s what we were told in our first aid at work course too. The trainer worked at a local secondary school and made sure that grapes in fruit bags were halved. Even teenagers are at risk if they cramming in grapes and talking / laughing / messing around at the same time.

Choking is silent and it can be hard to spot straightaway. I know of a five year old that died from choking on a grape.

Anyone can choke on anything. Adults regularly choke on steak. So what?

Either no grapes, or quartered grapes.

There's not much I fussed about when the DC were little, but grapes were on the 'fussing' list.

I even told my 17 yr old to start cutting them up again after she had a minor choking episode with a grape yesterday.

@Ohnomoreno

Anyone can choke on anything. Adults regularly choke on steak. So what?

Have you thought it might be because grapes have particular qualities that make them more dangerous than a lump of steak?

A grape is larger than the airway, will lodge at a point where it causes complete airway obstruction that is rapidly fatal, has a smooth, deformable surface allowing it to form a tight seal, and is very difficult to dislodge with first aid manoeuvres.

The official advice from the NHS is halved lengthways. Children can and do choke on all sorts of food. I remember a case at a nursery when a child choked on a piece of apple.
It's more important to ensure that all the staff are trained on how to deal with a choking incident.
Lots of nurseries now insist on all staff being first aid trained and, of course, nannies and childminders are all trained, too.

@Ohnomoreno

Anyone can choke on anything. Adults regularly choke on steak. So what?

Round foods such as; grapes and sausages are a hazard for small children due to their shape and size of their airway. It’s not comparable.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2020/11/17/girl-2-dies-after-choking-on-piece-of-sausage-at-nursery-13606030/amp/

I think people who say ‘you can choke on anything’ are missing the point.
Even with the equipment paramedics have grapes are almost impossible to dislodge.

So it is NOT about mindful eating or learning to chew. It’s about remembering that IF you choked on a grape versus a piece of pear, the former is significantly more dangerous. Even if the ambulance did get to you on time.

Interestingly, there's actually no evidence that cutting grapes etc. makes them less of a choking hazard. It's just one of those things people say because it seems to make sense. So yes, YABVU.

So long as people are cutting them in half lengthways then it is fine..I was once at a toddler group where there was a mini party and the grapes were cut in half the wrong way and I felt too embarrassed to say anything (a young childcarer) I wish I did now! I personally cut them in quarters but I am in the minority I tbink.

I'm another who never knew about this when the DCs were younger (teens now). I have, since finding out, tried to drill into them to bite grapes in half but I don't know if they still do, not even sure I do TBH, it's so easy to pick them up and pop them in your mouth as you walk past the fruit bowl. Time for another reminder I think.

@Ohnomoreno

Anyone can choke on anything. Adults regularly choke on steak. So what?

Some things are a higher risk than others. When something is proven to be a higher risk and there's a really simple way to mitigate that risk, most people do so.

I find it so odd the way people are competitive about how laid back they are.
There are loads of things that are now advised that weren’t previously(babies sleeping on backs, no bumpers etc) people don’t compete over those. It doesn’t make you look laid back it just makes you look ill educated,

@Emeraldshamrock

in my childs nursery they eat around tiny little shared tables and they all pick up each others food (even when one of them has spat it out or dropped it etc) 🤮 even throughout Covid 😳 I'd prefer quarters too. If it got lodged at an angle it would be a disaster. I never gave the DC grapes. I'll never forget the wee boy in pizza hut.

Basic physics means your quarter grape preference to avoid lodging is irrational. It is precisely quarter grapes that have an angle! Half grapes cannot get lodged as they are tapered at both ends.

I'm very relaxed about most things, and have never raised an issue with that nursery that DD has been going to full-time for two years. I trust them and their expertise, and I actively want DD to take sensible risks and learn to moderate her own behaviour.

I would raise it if they were halving rather than quartering grapes. I quarter them for DD who is nearly 3 and have no plans to stop any time soon.

You could approach it in a "I thought you were supposed to quarter, is halving ok?" kind of way, as they will have more training than the average parent and may be able to reassure you.

Basic physics means your quarter grape preference to avoid lodging is irrational.
It is precisely quarter grapes that have an angle! Half grapes cannot get lodged as they are tapered at both ends.

I thought it was more to do with reducing the size so they can't block the windpipe. It's the cylindrical shape combined with the thick, slippy skin that is the problem I thought.