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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask nursery to cut their grapes into quarters?

310 replies

AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps · 24/02/2021 23:32

So, DD14m attends nursery.

They give fruit snacks out each day.

They cut grapes in half lengthwise. (I know this for gross reasons 😷)

I tend to do quarters for safety, as per advice.

AIBU to ask them to cut the grapes into quarters??? Or am I being precious 🥺😳

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 25/02/2021 03:11

I would cut them in quarters for a child that age.. I have witnessed a small child almost choke on a half cut grape.

Lullaby88 · 25/02/2021 03:12

Id just say she has trouble eating grapes even when halved and request they quarter them. Put ur mind at ease and just tell them. They will listen.

HoppingPavlova · 25/02/2021 03:33

Think it needs to work on common sense.
If grapes are modest then in half lengthways is fine. If grapes are huge then quarters.

Can’t believe doing this for some of the ages described here unless the kids have special needs.

Oblomov21 · 25/02/2021 04:28

I never did. Cut them at all. It was only years later of being on MN that I read this was even a thing.

But I understood it to be only necessary to half?

But I put Ds1 in his own room in a cot after a week because he was so 'noisy'. And I make cubes of potato and cubes of carrots in ice cube trays, to wean. I'd never heard of BLW. So best not I give advice, because some of the things I did, now sound like they were from the dark ages.

NoSausageRoll · 25/02/2021 04:29

I would ask that she isn’t given them. I’m surprised they give grapes at nursery tbh as there are so many easier fruits without the fuss of chopping fiddly grapes.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 25/02/2021 04:45

I used to cut grapes into half only, until DS1 managed to swallow one round side on, which meant it got just as stuck as if it had been a whole one. Got it out ok, he didn't suffer much from it, BUT I always quartered them after that.

I think it's one of those things that people don't think about much until it DOES go wrong - it did for me, so I'm more careful than some people might think is warranted, but that's my experience.

cunexttime · 25/02/2021 05:25

My 7 year old choked on a grape the other night. I'd stopped cutting hers up as I thought it would be ok due to her age. Back to cutting them up now, that was a very scary experience.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/02/2021 06:35

@cunexttime

My 7 year old choked on a grape the other night. I'd stopped cutting hers up as I thought it would be ok due to her age. Back to cutting them up now, that was a very scary experience.
Seriously your 7yr old can’t chew? Sorry for what must have freaked you but seems a bit extreme to go back to cutting all their food again.
BorisandHarriet · 25/02/2021 06:46

I think in our nursery the younger room has them quartered and then the older room which is for at least 2.5 year olds upwards has them halved.

Showers3 · 25/02/2021 06:53

I think you could say that even though you know half is fine, you are very anxious about this, could they do quarters for your child? It’s a nicer way of asking them I think - would put them less on the defensive of ‘precious parent’. You could also have a laugh about how you know about the halves!

peak2021 · 25/02/2021 06:54

If you can point to a specific recommendation, then this would support your asking the nursery. From a medical source.

Tumbleweed101 · 25/02/2021 06:56

We cut them into quarters in baby room 0-2 and in half for the older rooms. Children are discouraged from touching each other’s food as a way to start table manners. Children with allergies will have a tray away from the main table if there are foods with their allergy that day and they go to play after the other children are cleaned up and food cleared from the area but we are able to separate the food area if needed.

Five67Eight · 25/02/2021 06:56

Seriously your 7yr old can’t chew?
Sorry for what must have freaked you but seems a bit extreme to go back to cutting all their food again.

Confused

Even adults accidentally choke on food sometimes.

SandysMam · 25/02/2021 06:57

Our old nursery had a no grape policy. Grapes are such a huge choking hazard for little ones that they decided there were plenty of other fruits and it was safer just not to serve them at all. I think it’s only sensible. Half is fine in terms of choking though. If you don’t want her to have half then just ask for no grapes at all.

IHaveBrilloHair · 25/02/2021 06:59

I didn't know you were supposed to cut grapes at all!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/02/2021 06:59

@Five67Eight

*Seriously your 7yr old can’t chew? Sorry for what must have freaked you but seems a bit extreme to go back to cutting all their food again.* Confused

Even adults accidentally choke on food sometimes.

I 100% agree that’s why I don’t get the knee jerk reaction that the foot must be cut up again
MotorwayDiva · 25/02/2021 07:03

At three I stopped cutting grapes, but encouraged DD to crunch the grape as soon in her mouth and she only gets to eat them sat next to me

Itsamess8456 · 25/02/2021 07:03

@onlyfoolsnMothers
Lord I’m a bad parent, nearly 4 never cut my LOs grapes

This. I have 3 children - I have never cut up a grape for any of them. I know it has a choking potential but so does lots of foods - I just wouldn't leave them alone to eat. I never knew how popular this grape chopping practice was Blush

Why do it for a 9 year old - at that age he should be knocking up his own lunch?

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 25/02/2021 07:05

I still cut my DS's if I can't supervise him eating them - he's 7. If I'm there in the room with him he has them whole, but I watch him like a hawk.

I would ask for quarters for a small toddler. Definitely not an unreasonable request.

Oysterbabe · 25/02/2021 07:11

I think halves are fine.

Inthevirtualwaitingroom · 25/02/2021 07:15

i dont think it could face the embarrassment of asking them to quarter the grapes, but if you can, go for it op

HazeyJaneII · 25/02/2021 07:22

Any age can choke - I choked on a grape in my 30s, Heimlich manoeuvre and everything...less about not being able to chew, more about being distracted when eating and accidentally inhaling food (something kids are even better at!)

I'm surprised by the comment about eating each other's food and drinking from each other's bottles on a nursery - in the preschools and nurseries I've worked at, this would be strictly monitored and prevented due to allergies.

Grapes should be cut lengthways, and big ones quartered. This goes for other foods that are easy to choke on - cocktail sausages, cherry tomatoes etc. Everyone who has done a first aid course (necessary for working in an early years setting) would be told this.

ShowOfHands · 25/02/2021 07:25

[quote Itsamess8456]@onlyfoolsnMothers
Lord I’m a bad parent, nearly 4 never cut my LOs grapes

This. I have 3 children - I have never cut up a grape for any of them. I know it has a choking potential but so does lots of foods - I just wouldn't leave them alone to eat. I never knew how popular this grape chopping practice was Blush

Why do it for a 9 year old - at that age he should be knocking up his own lunch?[/quote]
Grapes are different from other foods. It's not about being there. If they do get stuck in the throat, it can be impossible to dislodge them.

www.theguardian.com/society/2016/dec/20/lack-of-awareness-of-grape-choking-hazard-putting-children-at-risk-say-doctors

HazeyJaneII · 25/02/2021 07:26

Grape threads on mumsnet always turn into one of those, 'I am considerably more laid back than you' type threads.

Pinchmybun · 25/02/2021 07:28

I am so shocked at the amount of posters here who have said halved grapes are fine!

Trust me - they’re not! Grapes are one of the worst choking hazards for children. Please ensure your nursery adequately quarters them and sausages which are another huge choking hazard.

I would pull my child out of nursery if the nursery failed to adopt safe cutting of food throughout.

It is not worth the risk and I hope everyone on here who doesn’t take the seconds required to adequately cut up their food for their child never suffers a child bereavement like our family has.