To ask nursery to cut their grapes into quarters?

[AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps]

So, DD14m attends nursery.

They give fruit snacks out each day.

They cut grapes in half lengthwise. (I know this for gross reasons 😷)

I tend to do quarters for safety, as per advice.

AIBU to ask them to cut the grapes into quarters??? Or am I being precious 🥺😳

You shouldn't say the child is allergic if not and besides, she's been eating them with no effects so far so nursery would know its a lie.

If you want grapes cut in quarters, provide them yourself, the staff have enough work to do without pandering to petty stuff that really makes no difference.

Maybe I'm mad, but surely if you cut them into quarters, a child is more likely to just swallow them and not chew them. Hence more likely to choke. In half they have to chew. (I was a CM for 40 years and only ever cut in half and never gave tiny grapes for this reason.)

@Boysnme ... my boss are 25 & 32 and I've NEVER cut a grape lengthways, halves, or any other way and never had a problem because clearly they're still here!

I still cut up grapes and cherry tomatoes.... youngest is 9 . It’s out of habit more than anything.

Yes. Make sure you ask for sausages to be halved too.

I never cut up grapes for my kids when they were small and certainly wouldn’t cut them up for school aged kids. Seriously, how much of a risk this there?

You are ABSOLUTELY NOT being unreasonable! I agree that grapes should be quartered for such young children (I continued to cut them small until my children were about 8, too). If they don’t have the time to do it, could you perhaps offer to help with preparation?

@Harmonypuss when I was a child I used to sit in the back seat of the car without a seat belt. I also remember sitting in the boot of hatchbacks when people were giving us a lift as there wasn't room in the back. Clearly wasn't a problem because I'm still here!

So many posts.
I agree with those who suggest no grapes.

I never cut grapes for little ones. I would just smash them between my

clean thumb and finger as I put them into a bowl. A piece of smoosh, safe and easy to eat.

The advice is halves. I think quarters is OTT

Just ask, if they say no and you feel uncomfortable, then request that your child is not given grapes.

No one is going to look out for your child like you do, there’s no point regretting not asking if the worst happened.

Mine are 13 and 12 and I make sure they break them in half first still*

At what age do you think they can manage to chew a whole grape?

Good grief it’s a miracle my children are still alive! Never cut a grape for any of them.

Half is better than whole but I agree at a young quarters are better. When they get to primary school they don’t usually cut them at all even for reception kids just turned 4!

@Peanutbuttercupisyum

Yep I used to say mine were allergic! I also tell them they aren’t allowed grapes at school. They know my worries about grapes so would never eat them unless I was there! And they are 9, 5,4

Normally with threads like this I will nod along with the sensible posts, roll my eyes at the hysterical and ultra-cool ones alike, and move on with my evening. This post, however, has stopped me in my tracks. Lying about fictional allergies to assuage your own anxieties is absolutely appalling behaviour.

The consensus of the thread is absolutely correct. The choking risk from grapes is small but real and it is sensible to take precautions by cutting them up. In comparison, if my son has even a trace of certain allergens then he could be left brain-damaged or dead. The risk is high and the consequences catastrophic. Know that if you have invented fake allergies for your children then you have personally undermined the daily precautions that we take to keep him safe. Shame on you.

You are absolutely right to ask them to cut them in quarters. A 6 year old girl who was on holiday in a nearby village in North Wales, died when a grape became lodged in her throat. Paramedics tried everything but they couldn’t dislodge it. If a 6 year old could choke on them, then toddlers easily could.

@PlumsInTheIcebox your reply is OTT and very defensive. Some nurseries refuse to chop fruit. If the parent has limited choice of nurseries and that they have to stick with this nursery that won’t respect the parents’ wishes, I can see why they would lie to keep their child safe.

I would ask if they can cut in quarters, if they can’t or aren’t willing to then just say you don’t want them giving her grapes as you’re worried about it. At the end of the day if you’re going to be sitting there in the back of your mind worrying about it a lot it’s worth saying something. I also still quarter grapes for mine, it’s a few extra seconds.

I’m not defensive. I’m fucking angry.

When mine were at playschool they actually requested that you quartered grapes.

And - just so we’re clear, @CovidHalloween - you rejected a nursery because they weren’t using plates but advocate that other parents should consider inventing life-threatening allergies rather than finding a backbone and holding the business of which they are a client to account? If a parent really has no choice of childcare and really feels that the nursery is actively ignoring parents’ wishes and endangering children then perhaps they might consider reporting the nursery to the council and to Ofsted before faking allergies.

How is that mum endangering other children? 🤣 she asked for her kids not to be fed grapes. You have issues.

And no I’m not advocating faking allergies. Please don’t assume things and put words in my mouth. I said I understand why she said it.

Parent tells nursery that child has severe allergy to grapes. Nursery takes it seriously.

One day a kid brings in a grape in their fist that no-one notices and drops it on the ground. Fake allergy child picks it up and before anyone can stop her, eats it. Nursery staff realise that she was never allergic.

Next time a parent tells them that their child is seriously allergic, a seed of doubt has been planted. It’s compounded by the parents who claim that their children have allergies when they’re really just fussy. I don’t think you understand how hard it is to get people to take severe allergy seriously.

It’s breathtaking to me that you tell me that I have issues in defence of a mother who has lied about a serious health condition to her children’s carers.

You don’t have to invent allergies. They either do as you ask with the grapes or your child is not to be given them. If they can’t follow those instructions, then they shouldn’t be in charge of children.