To not understand why some parents make such poor food choices for their kids?

[Quit4me]

I was standing behind a mum with 2 children in a queue the other day. One child was a baby laying almost flat in a pram aged about 3 months. The other was around 6. The baby was really sweet smiling out of the pram which is what drew my attention to them. Then she grizzled and the mum said ‘whopps sorry I took away the milk buttons didn’t I. She was feeding her (the baby) milkybar buttons. Quite a lot of them.
I then noticed that that the mum was overweight, the nan who was also with them was overweight and most sadly the 6 year old was very overweight /obese.
Why would any mum be feeding their 3 month old chocolate? Obviously the whole family and little girl could have had a medical condition but Barring that why don’t parents see that feeding them sugar and too many processed foods early on is creating so many health problems for their children?
It makes me actually quite angry and sad for the children and I cringe seeing it.
Yes I know it’s none of my business directly, but this is everyone’s business because it’s a huge problem for the UK and is going to increase multi fold in the coming years.

@Sunnysideup999

A baby was lying down eating chocolate buttons?!! Aside from the chocolate, and the fact that it cannot digest anything but milk at that age - the choking risk is shocking .

I did find it quite surprising as I don’t remember ever seeing a child so young eating anything, it’s played on my mind since and I guess that’s partly what’s led me to post about it here

Maybe you should mind your own business. I expect the baby was older than 3 months. Not ideal but my own mother was like this when me and siblings were babies and we turned out okay. Why are you taking a huge deal of notice to other people?

Today Ds had some money from the tooth fairy. He hasn’t lost a tooth for a while so was excited for the ££. I took him to co-op (for essentials too) and he chose a massive massive bar of dairy milk. My sons not overweight but I am would you have judged us too??

Chocolate for a tiny baby?? That's awful.
The issue of cheap food with low nutrition is a real one. It shouldn't be marketed in your face and on offer when you really have to look to find healthier options like lentils which are also cheap but all the ingredients you need to go with it are scattered all over the shop - not convenient for a busy parent with a hungry child or someone on a fast lunch break. Waitrose often do recipes with all the ingredients together on the shelf but I've never seen a cheap, healthy version. It should be harder not easier to buy bad food.

Sick of reading "stop fat shaming"; "stop judging" etc in response to posts like these. The OP was pointing out what's true - 3 month old babies shouldn't be fed chocolate buttons. While I'm on the subject, I'm also sick of reading how healthy foods are really expensive and junk food's cheaper etc. No it's not. A bag of vegetables and two chicken legs can make a decent pot of soup enough to feed a family of four. Kids should be taught the basics of cooking and budgeting in school. Eating junk food is expensive and feeding it to kids is lazy parenting.

I did find it quite surprising as I don’t remember ever seeing a child so young eating anything, it’s played on my mind since and I guess that’s partly what’s led me to post about it here

So, what are you going to do about it?

YANBU. Sweets, chocolate, crisps and fizzy drinks aren’t needed at all and certainly aren’t part of a healthy diet. They are absolutely not appropriate for babies.

I think the pandemic has made it harder for vulnerable people who need help to get to children’s centres and to see health visitors, where they would have hopefully been told that’s not a healthy food choice.

Poor baby, they don’t even need food until 6 months never mind chocolate! I generally don’t judge parenting choices, but I do when it’s so obviously age inappropriate and damaging.

I also agree with @Gil55

These conversations need to be spoken about though. Brushing the increasing levels of obesity under the carpet and shouting down anyone who dared have a discussion as ‘fat goading’ or similar is not the way forward

These conversations are being had. All the time. It's not like anyone is unaware of rising obesity levels or that eating loads of sugary, fatty foods is bad for you. Saying "eat less junk and more healthy stuff" does not magically make people do it. People make poor choices for all kinds of reasons, some of which are not their fault.

@Gil55

Sick of reading "stop fat shaming"; "stop judging" etc in response to posts like these. The OP was pointing out what's true - 3 month old babies shouldn't be fed chocolate buttons. While I'm on the subject, I'm also sick of reading how healthy foods are really expensive and junk food's cheaper etc. No it's not. A bag of vegetables and two chicken legs can make a decent pot of soup enough to feed a family of four. Kids should be taught the basics of cooking and budgeting in school. Eating junk food is expensive and feeding it to kids is lazy parenting.

So, what's the point of the thread then? I can't see what it adds to the site other than some sort of bizarre sort of 'wailing wall' where posters can spout off whatever they like about fat people.

It would be lovely if all the fatty posts could be relegated to a dusty corner of the site where posters can froth to their heart's content into an echo chamber with their like-minded chums.

Just as you're sick of hearing 'fat-shaming', I'm sick of reading it with such boring monotony.

Again, I'm curious about the purpose of this thread and ones like it? Other than a lecture/rant/judgement, does it actually have a purpose? It's not as if people are unaware that healthy foods are better for you any more than the OP is listening when people talk about feeding in poverty... it's a bloody awful thread and goady as they come.

Meant to add - if you can't think of what some of those reasons could be, OP, you must lead a very sheltered life.

Bluntness, why do you think that is out of interest? Why does mentioning the adults overweight being so much more vitriol?

Becayse peoole think you’re being goady and fat shaming.

@lazylinguist

These conversations need to be spoken about though. Brushing the increasing levels of obesity under the carpet and shouting down anyone who dared have a discussion as ‘fat goading’ or similar is not the way forward

These conversations are being had. All the time. It's not like anyone is unaware of rising obesity levels or that eating loads of sugary, fatty foods is bad for you. Saying "eat less junk and more healthy stuff" does not magically make people do it. People make poor choices for all kinds of reasons, some of which are not their fault.

What do those conversations achieve other than 'them and us'/bad feeling?

I agree with you, lazylinguist but your common sense just spoils things for the goady posters who just want to talk about fat people ad nauseum, dammit! It's not their job to educate (and they can't), they just want to talk, on and on, about fat people and how disgusting they are, with no self control... yada yada.

Agree with PPs about reasons being a cycle of poverty, lack of education, and poor engagement with health and social care.

Though I must say in response to the trolley police- we go to a greengrocer, butcher, and fish monger as we have really nice ones locally, so when I go to Sainsbury's my trolley is mainly nappies and wine

@Beep9724

Maybe you should mind your own business. I expect the baby was older than 3 months. Not ideal but my own mother was like this when me and siblings were babies and we turned out okay. Why are you taking a huge deal of notice to other people?

Today Ds had some money from the tooth fairy. He hasn’t lost a tooth for a while so was excited for the ££. I took him to co-op (for essentials too) and he chose a massive massive bar of dairy milk. My sons not overweight but I am would you have judged us too??

Tbh if I saw that I’d be so shocked it would register even if I tried to avoid looking. It is shocking and unusual to see a tiny baby being fed chocolate laid down!

Your DS is old enough to have grown and lost teeth, and old enough to select his own treat. I would think that makes him quite a bit older than a few months old baby, surely?

I was given one hollow, chicken egg sized, chocolate egg at 4 months, three months corrected. It was the first time I had chocolate and that was in the early eighties.

So I absolutely believe that a baby that appeared to be three months old could eat chocolate. I don't think it matters whether they were actually three months, or a premature 5 month old, they are still too young. I don't think anyone would be unreasonable at all to be shocked by that, especially if it was unlikely to be a one off based on the older child.

the choking risk is shocking

We've already done this. Several times.

this is everyone’s business because it’s a huge problem for the UK and is going to increase multi fold in the coming years.

There is no reason to suppose that more people are giving little babies chocolate nowadays than in the past, or that changes in the way most people feed little babies is contributing to the rise in obesity. Dietary advice and customs for little babies are very different from what they used to be, witness all these people amazed at the very idea of a 3 month old baby being physically able to eat chocolate buttons. Most parents aren't doing this now and they aren't going to do this in future either.

So whatever you might think of the family, you're looking in the wrong place for the "huge problem for the UK".

@Whatwouldscullydo

How were you close enough to see the baby? What happened to social distancing

Literally shut up 😂

they just want to talk, on and on, about fat people and how disgusting they are, with no self control... yada yada

No one is talking about fat people though are they? We are talking about obese children and babies being fed shite and the reasons behind it.

Plenty of overweight people on this thread have said they wouldn't dream of letting their kids eat rubbish all the time. But you want to shut down the conversation, why?

@Gil55

Sick of reading "stop fat shaming"; "stop judging" etc in response to posts like these. The OP was pointing out what's true - 3 month old babies shouldn't be fed chocolate buttons. While I'm on the subject, I'm also sick of reading how healthy foods are really expensive and junk food's cheaper etc. No it's not. A bag of vegetables and two chicken legs can make a decent pot of soup enough to feed a family of four. Kids should be taught the basics of cooking and budgeting in school. Eating junk food is expensive and feeding it to kids is lazy parenting.

Careful, people don't appreciate hearing the truth.

YANBU OP. I have family members (both slim themselves, not over weight) who let their 2YO child eat crisps all day and very little in the way of actual food.

I don't mean that they offer food and the child refuses - they simply say "oh he won't eat xyz" and give him more crisps.
These are educated "professionals" with letters after their names - I don't care which way you spin it, it's a form of neglect.

Literally shut up

So someone was somewhere so busy despite lockdown that had to queue outside for 20 mins and but spotted a baby lying flat in a pram with the hood fully down ( and prams usually have covers over the top not to mention its not exactly warm so blankets and coats too) but didn't even clock to "obese adults"

U think it makes any sense?

What you saw is shocking OP. I remember how I felt when I saw something similar - a toddler drinking coke from a bottle on the school run to drop his siblings. I thought maybe I was mistaken, but all the older siblings have black teeth. I then saw the same kid with a bag of haribo in his buggy early in the morning. The mum is a lovely person. But there are 7 kids and I don't think they are well looked after, certainly not their teeth anyway. And when she's been pregnant I have seen her smoking and drinking. It's shocking, but it does happen. And it's sad. And I wish the school could help the family more.

There's alot of competitive eating on MN. One look in most school playgrounds will tell you it has to be bullshit. But MN is full of kids who eat huge meals and drink several pints of milk a day who are all "beanpoles" and " really tall" , anyone who posts their kid had half a cheese sandwich some carrot sticks and a handful of popcorn is asked " wheres the rest of it". I dont think it helps anyone new who's posting for advice to be accused of starving their child when its a perfectly average lunch. Don't forget the "strapping" (😷) 6ft sons who either live off junk but are still so healthy or eat a handful of carrot sticks a week but are incredibly muscular. I think there's already been a 6ft, junk food eating, incredibly healthy son pop up in this thread already!

@CovidCrow

they just want to talk, on and on, about fat people and how disgusting they are, with no self control... yada yada

No one is talking about fat people though are they? We are talking about obese children and babies being fed shite and the reasons behind it.

Plenty of overweight people on this thread have said they wouldn't dream of letting their kids eat rubbish all the time. But you want to shut down the conversation, why?

Read the OP's first post again perhaps?

Nobody chooses to let their children become overweight and it happens for many reasons which posters have identified throughout this thread and the eleventy-million others that preceded it. How about a serious discussion about the obesity factors and the reasons for this to be perpetuated from generation to generation?

Not as much fun as a baby eating chocolate - accompanied by fat family though, is it? Just the same old, same old... knitting needles/pitchforks at the ready. It is shameful and achieves absolutely nothing.

Don't forget the "strapping" () 6ft sons who either live off junk but are still so healthy or eat a handful of carrot sticks a week but are incredibly muscular. I think there's already been a 6ft, junk food eating, incredibly healthy son pop up in this thread already!

Ha ha yes.

I mean it don't add up realky though does it. Only thickos with little education have the weight problems yet, school streets are clogged with 4x4s 40 mins befire schools starts lest the child has to walk more than 6 feet and it's not the poverty stricken at football/cricket club with piles of snacks at the ready ti counter act the 15 mins they had to run about a bit for.

I mean yes its a huge problem there's no getting away from it but we can't just shrug and blame one particular demographic when frankly if you are over weight it don't matter if its organic chicken wraps amd quinoa chips amd 2 gallons of raw milk you were downing or a tub of pringles.

Let's just admit it's probably all of us, especially now, when we are all bored, fed up, struggling to deal with everything and our kids have barely made a swim.lesson In.a year. It's easier ti point at sone situations because we know that's probably not us but there are bad habits we could all.probably pack in.