To want to scream at the misuse of reflexives?

[Whatisthisfuckery]

ARGH!

Where did it come from? Why do people do it? I’m pretty sure it’s a recent thing where people are writing such abominations as ‘please contact myself on...’ or ‘I’d just like to invite x and yourself to...’ No, if you call me ‘yourself’ I’m not coming.

Do people think it makes them’ sound formal or something?

My DS’s form tutor has done it every time she’s emailed me, then today on a video catch up she did it in speech. I’m not sure my face didn’t give me away. I’m sure I visibly cringed, I might have even put my head in my hands. There is no polite or acceptable way to tell your child’s teacher that her incorrect use of language makes you want to repeatedly bang your head against the wall in frustration.

It’s entirely ridiculous and irrational, but AIBU to want to curl up in a ball on the ground and rock backwards and forwards when somebody uses a reflexive where they shouldn’t?

Recruitment consultants and estate agents. These are the people who do this.

It drives me insane.

It's a tooth-grinder BUT please let's excuse the Irish from this. What grates when heard in a call centre in Luton sounds oddly charming and perfectly acceptable from an Irish person. How can that be?

Fun fact of the day, studies show those who prefer strict inflexible language rules and dislike adaptive language have lower IQs.

saylordotorg.github.io/text_introduction-to-psychology/s13-intelligence-and-language.html

There there are different types of intelligence, of course. However, being able to speak and write well is definitely one of them. I love language and using it properly, while constantly looking for ways to improve, is a real source of pride for me.

@longwayoff no need to “excuse the Irish” from anything because I think Irish usage is distinguishable from what the OP is decrying.

Average recruitment consultant: “I was just calling yourself about this opportunity, which it occurred to myself might be of interest.” (Tends to be first or second person reference)

Irish - “Of course, herself (referring to an actual third person) wouldn’t be bothered picking a wet towel off a bed”.

The former is just gratingly incorrect grammar; the latter is, effectively, dialect.

publishup.uni-potsdam.de/opus4-ubp/frontdoor/deliver/index/docId/3922/file/CelticEnglishesIV_btr13.pdf

People have written papers on it and everything though.

Worse, is Haitch, for H, and allmond for almond.

🤣🤣🤪

@Piglet89

Recruitment consultants and estate agents. These are the people who do this.

It drives me insane.

Yes! Absolutely this!

I think rather than a case of sneering at peoples’ poor grammar...

Oops.

@notforonesecond

Can we add people who don’t know the difference between blond and blonde or brunet and brunette?

There isn’t a clear difference in U.K. English. Blonde is used for men and women; blond is rarely used for either.

One positive about Covid
I haven’t been on a plane and had to listen to frequent uses of Yourself etc by the flight attendants over the tannoy. Major offenders

@LadyCatStark

I think the annoying thing about it is that it’s used by people who are trying to sound better than everyone else.

I don't think they're trying to sound better than everyone else, they're just trying to sound as well spoken as they can do as not to show themselves up. Unfortunately it backfires in reality.

All language is constantly in flux. Nothing stays the same otherwise we’d still be talking like Elizabethans. I hate this Daily Mail static approach to language.

I have managed to turn my rage at the misuse of reflexives into a positive. I know see their misuse as an accurate tool to identify those who are not very good at thinking.

I recently spent an entire training day in the company of someone who pronounced hospital as 'hospickle'. I still haven't recovered and doubt I ever will.

As long as the person can be understood I can't get worked up about it.

Unless someone is using an incorrect spelling/grammar, use of a word that then becomes offensive in some way, 'madame' for example. Then let them get on with it.

My old boss used to bring up any spelling mistakes in meetings. It was usually something trivial and clearly overlooked by the person in question. He just came across as a bully.

I've skipped to the end of the thread, but has anyone noticed an increase in the often emailed expression of "Please may you..."?

"Please may you send me a copy of the letter."

"Please may you sign the attached and return it."

It drives my inner pedant crazy although I couldn't actually articulate why it sounds so hideous.

I thought "Can I get..." in coffee shops was bad enough, but that appears to be common vernacular these days.

The late and very great racehorse, Arkle, was universally known to those who loved him as 'Himself'. Even got letters addressed to 'Himself,Ireland', so I guess that could be an Irish thing and I'm happy to make an exception there.

But when you're trying to make a serious point,yourself is just going to make myself think yourself hasn't fully grasped the English language yet despite it being yourself's mother tongue.

@HandyBendySandy

I've skipped to the end of the thread, but has anyone noticed an increase in the often emailed expression of "Please may you..."?

"Please may you send me a copy of the letter."

"Please may you sign the attached and return it."

It drives my inner pedant crazy although I couldn't actually articulate why it sounds so hideous.

I thought "Can I get..." in coffee shops was bad enough, but that appears to be common vernacular these days.

I was in a coffee shop a while ago and the person in front of me asked “can I get a coffee” and the barista replied “no I’m sorry we aren’t self service, would you like me to get one for you?”

I call it "estate agent speak".

It's a cruel irony that these people are trying to sound educated to others, yet it's the educated 'others' who know they're grammatically incorrect.

The construction that irritates me (and I'm sorry I don't know the correct grammatical term) is, for example "I'll be in the living room if anyone calls". DH tends to do this and I always want to reply "where will you (or should I say yourself?!!!) be if no-one calls?"

@VettiyaIruken

It is irritating, yes.

As is misuse of I.

"X and I" is not always correct.

Not knowing when to use less and when to use fewer, although this is me being picky. 😁 It's not that big a deal, it just drives me nuts.

Yes , drives I mad 😬

Also knowing when to use number rather than amount.

I myself also find this awful.

@BonesJones

Haha PurplePi! I sing the Apprentice theme tune when I hear a misused yourself/myself . Agreed though op, I can let many things go, but not this. It gives me a similar feeling to the thought of touching my eyeball.

Brilliant! We sing it too, but instead of singing Tumpty-tumpty etc. we sing numpty instead. It just seems more appropriate.

Totally agree OP, it is one of my biggest pet peeves! I think of it as estate agent speak because they seem to be particularly prone to it.