To want to scream at the misuse of reflexives?

[Whatisthisfuckery]

ARGH!

Where did it come from? Why do people do it? I’m pretty sure it’s a recent thing where people are writing such abominations as ‘please contact myself on...’ or ‘I’d just like to invite x and yourself to...’ No, if you call me ‘yourself’ I’m not coming.

Do people think it makes them’ sound formal or something?

My DS’s form tutor has done it every time she’s emailed me, then today on a video catch up she did it in speech. I’m not sure my face didn’t give me away. I’m sure I visibly cringed, I might have even put my head in my hands. There is no polite or acceptable way to tell your child’s teacher that her incorrect use of language makes you want to repeatedly bang your head against the wall in frustration.

It’s entirely ridiculous and irrational, but AIBU to want to curl up in a ball on the ground and rock backwards and forwards when somebody uses a reflexive where they shouldn’t?

Can I say yoursen instead?

And as I mentioned on another thread last week or thereabouts, the trend to remove the word "about" from the English language.

We no longer say we are excited "about" something, we are excited "for" it, and we no longer talk "about" a topic, we talk "to" it.

Totally reasonable.

I always think it makes them sound like a candidate from The Apprentice.

@Whatisthisfuckery

People who do this, can’t they see how U they’re being?

No because they think they're right.

For what it's worth, I would tell the teacher. If you don't they will continue to impart their incorrect ways to their students.

I once had the embarrassment of telling a year 6 teacher that my son was correct that there are 720⁰ in a hexagon (she thought there were 180) and then having to explain how you work out the number of degrees in each of the shapes.

what should they be saying

In the context of call centres it would be something like:

"we are writing to yourself to explain the discrepancy with your bill. Please contact ourselves/myself if you would like to discuss further".

The correct form would be:

"We are writing to you to explain the discrepancy with your bill. Please contact us/me if you would like to discuss this further".

You scream away, OP. It's one of my major bugbears too. You're going to attract the sneery crowd though; the 'whataboutery' from people who feel you're acting in a privileged manner for daring to speak and write properly. I have ASD and I really wish I didn't have to waste so much time on rewriting emails, posts and documents in my head so that I could interpret the actual meaning hidden betwixt the reflexive pronouns.

@SpringisSpinning

what should they be saying? I only realised what is wrong with could of, from a MN thread !

Should be could have - should have - I did not realise.

"Please contact me."

‘I’d just like to invite X and you"

Doesn't bother me at all. 😇

@BobbinThreadbare123

You scream away, OP. It's one of my major bugbears too. You're going to attract the sneery crowd though; the 'whataboutery' from people who feel you're acting in a privileged manner for daring to speak and write properly. I have ASD and I really wish I didn't have to waste so much time on rewriting emails, posts and documents in my head so that I could interpret the actual meaning hidden betwixt the reflexive pronouns.

You are the sneery crowd.

“Betwixt”, indeed! Get over yourself!

YANBU. An ex-colleague seemed to think it was more professional and formal. It made her sound like an idiot.

In fact, it made her sound like Arthur from Cabin Pressure: "In concluding, it’s been a privilege for ourselves to conduct yourselves through the in-flight experience today, and I do hope you’ll re-favour ourselves with the esteem of your forth-looking custom going forward"

I like proper SPAG, but I think many people aren't trying to sound fancy. They really do not know what is correct. It would be good if TV included broad general education for adults

“Betwixt”, indeed! Get over yourself!

There is nothing wrong with the word 'betwixt'.

Almost all linguistic and grammar mistakes are caused by people trying to cover up their lack of confidence by using what they think of as "formal" language and generally overthinking things.

It is cringeworthy.

But I can't help thinking that the grammar police have helped create this monster by being so pedantic about this stuff.

Part of the reason people who are not well educated feel so insecure about this sort of thing is the complete hysteria it generates, of which this is an example (and I plead guilty because I loathe the over-formalisation of language). It's a vicious circle and it doesn't support encourage people to write and speak plain English.

Do people think it makes them’ sound formal or something?

Yes. I think it can also be misapplied politeness, as "you" can sound pointed (e.g. one might ask "What went wrong?" rather than "What did YOU do wrong?")

Myself isn't a fan.

Me, myself and I agree. Them’s 3 of ourselves.

Most grammar things don't particularly bother me but this one sends me into a rage too. My theory is that it started as a sort of sales thing. It's often said in that context and then continued eg, "I'd like to talk to yourself about my fabulous new product" and I absolutely think it's because people think it sounds posh/differential.

DH used to use it sometimes (I'm not going to lie, it had a negative impact on how viewed him a few times while we were dating).... and it was after he'd been doing a few sales jobs. He's been out of sales for 10 years or so and it's largely disappeared from his speech. I'm convinced there's a link here!

Aargh!!! Me too 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ I actually cringe when my boss says things like ‘can you send the email to Bob and I’ I’m like FFS you wouldn’t say ‘can you send the email to I’ IT’S NOT DIFFICULT.

And breathe 🧘‍♀️

@MsMarch

Most grammar things don't particularly bother me but this one sends me into a rage too. My theory is that it started as a sort of sales thing. It's often said in that context and then continued eg, "I'd like to talk to yourself about my fabulous new product" and I absolutely think it's because people think it sounds posh/differential.

DH used to use it sometimes (I'm not going to lie, it had a negative impact on how viewed him a few times while we were dating).... and it was after he'd been doing a few sales jobs. He's been out of sales for 10 years or so and it's largely disappeared from his speech. I'm convinced there's a link here!

Argh, I meant deferential. Not differential.

YABU if you are feeling the same about the standard use of reflexive pronouns in Hiberno-English abitirish.tumblr.com/post/30621748487/twas-himself-that-was-in-it

I totally see why the reflexive use in English English (Anglo-English?) is annoying.

My personal hate is the over-correcting to "and I" instead of "and me".

Also call centre staff often get themselves tied up in knots with ‘yourselves’ and ‘myself’. I just snigger at that because it just sound ridiculous.

It makes me wince. I live in Essex and hear it a lot, also misuse of singular/plural; 'we was most grateful for the lovely gift from yourself and DHname'. They think they are being posh.

Oh God yes! Drives me mad. It's call- centre speak. I think people think it makes them sound posher. It does the opposite. Also as PP said, using "I" instead of "me" eg. "She asked Paul and I to go with her" - arrgghh! Oddly when it's the other way round it doesnt bother me - eg. "Me and Paul went shopping" - I know it's grammatically wrong but I still say it because I feel like a wanker saying "Paul and I...." maybe it's a northern thing.... Also the "less" and "fewer" thing doesn't bother me tbh. It's become so commonplace that I think less is acceptable now.

@MasterBeth oh dear; touched a nerve have we?

Yes I hate it too. Along with using I when it should be me, eg "Would you like a lift with Sarah and I?"

I like them used in speech when said in a Yorkshire or Irish accent. If the person then puts them in writing, I read it in their accent, so all is forgiven.

They are often used because, 'you/me' seems too blunt.