To want to scream at the misuse of reflexives?

[Whatisthisfuckery]

ARGH!

Where did it come from? Why do people do it? I’m pretty sure it’s a recent thing where people are writing such abominations as ‘please contact myself on...’ or ‘I’d just like to invite x and yourself to...’ No, if you call me ‘yourself’ I’m not coming.

Do people think it makes them’ sound formal or something?

My DS’s form tutor has done it every time she’s emailed me, then today on a video catch up she did it in speech. I’m not sure my face didn’t give me away. I’m sure I visibly cringed, I might have even put my head in my hands. There is no polite or acceptable way to tell your child’s teacher that her incorrect use of language makes you want to repeatedly bang your head against the wall in frustration.

It’s entirely ridiculous and irrational, but AIBU to want to curl up in a ball on the ground and rock backwards and forwards when somebody uses a reflexive where they shouldn’t?

Yep!

And 'we was' as in 'we was at the park'.

NO!

Totally agree ..... and don’t get me started on the use of “sat” and “stood” instead of sitting and standing .....

As in ......”I was sat on a bus .....” ....... AARRGHH .....

Try this then: a text...

'Hi Jay and Ani,

I hope you're all well and not too bored during lockdown.
I was just wondering if I could borrow a couple of eggs from yourselves. I was going to make pancakes, but find I have run out.

I was also wondering if you could kindly print me one photocopy of a document.

Thanks so much!'

Works much better and matches the friendly, but appreciative and not taking for granted style of the text.

Much nicer than all those thoughtless ( though correct 'yous').
Your good selves can also sound thoughtful.

@MrsExpo

Totally agree ..... and don’t get me started on the use of “sat” and “stood” instead of sitting and standing .....

As in ......”I was sat on a bus .....” ....... AARRGHH .....

You've never been, "Stood there, standing, when…"?

As for OP, neither

Me, myself, I

nor Joan Armatrading understand your problem, OP. Your goodself is BVVU.

I know someone who refers to her male partner as 'himself'.

Baffles me

@Diverseopinions

Try this then: a text...

'Hi Jay and Ani,

I hope you're all well and not too bored during lockdown.
I was just wondering if I could borrow a couple of eggs from yourselves. I was going to make pancakes, but find I have run out.

I was also wondering if you could kindly print me one photocopy of a document.

Thanks so much!'

Works much better and matches the friendly, but appreciative and not taking for granted style of the text.

Much nicer than all those thoughtless ( though correct 'yous').
Your good selves can also sound thoughtful.

Why not just say....'I was wondering if I could borrow a couple of eggs.' No need for 'from you'...nor grammatically incorrect 'from yourselves'.

I myself, personally speaking, would look upon this as a sad state of the educational system and up with it I would not put.

I don't get it either
Although it's interesting the people who said it's call centre speak 🤣
The first time I came across it was at work (I work in a call centre) although to be fair just a couple of people do it, not everyone

yes, @ifitpleasesandsparkles past tense of to jump

see also

the quick brown fox jamped over the lazy brown cow

it is very area specific though, as I said. ...well, so far!

It's annoying yes, but I can think of more annoying habits (bad spelling comes to mind)

Fun fact of the day, studies show those who prefer strict inflexible language rules and dislike adaptive language have lower IQs.

It makes the speaker sound like an Apprentice contestant.

It makes the person sound like they have been failed by successive trendy attempts to educate children. Maybe they should sue for the

" education" they never had.

It's annoying yes, but I can think of more annoying habits (bad spelling comes to mind)

I have massive trouble spelling in spite of being an early reader age 3. I was also sent to a shit hole school with over 40 in my class where I sat in classrooms completely dislocated from the learning, sometimes sat with my back to the black board and teacher.

My dd has massively struggled to spell and learn and now from private not school investigation we feel she may have dyslexic tendencies . From private help and tips, we have managed to un lock her learning with the help of a relatively cheap tool to help her.
It was only someone dedicated to SEN who told us this info and it worries me how many dc can't spell through trad routes but would understand spelling our hugely complex language with simple tools.

These dc will be cast as stupid and fail because we - as a society in the UK do not teach our teachers about SEN and simple tips on how to un lock learning for those dc. So do not sneer at the poor speller sneer at the UK.

Haha PurplePi! I sing the Apprentice theme tune when I hear a misused yourself/myself . Agreed though op, I can let many things go, but not this. It gives me a similar feeling to the thought of touching my eyeball.

Tell you what is annoying me today - people saying 'reply back'. You don't need the back! Reply will do.

Argh

@toomanycremeeggs

I know someone who refers to her male partner as 'himself'.

Baffles me

My mother refers to the cat this way. I have taken to calling baby DD "herself" when she's being extra demanding. It's a jokey way of saying "important one".

I'm a big believer in language evolving and generally think that if a grammatical construct is used in a standardised way (i.e. in the same format for the same purpose each time), then it is valid even if it's not formally recognised. In time, such constructs can become so prevalent as to become broadly accepted. It's a bit like the use of "you" to mean a person, generally - historically "one" would be more correct, but "you" is now much more widely used.

"Yourself", in the context OP described, generally seems to be used to convey deference or respect on the part of the speaker towards the listener. It may be that in a hundred years, "yourself" is the standard second person object pronoun in respectful speech.

There is nothing wrong with the word 'betwixt'.

Indeed. It's a perfectly cromulent word.

There is no polite or acceptable way to tell your child’s teacher that her incorrect use of language makes you want to repeatedly bang your head against the wall in frustration

Oh, I dunno. You could maybe send in a note pretending that you think something she has written was in fact written by someone else,, and politely say something along the lines of "I'm sure you will agree that it is so important that we don't model such bad grammar to the children, so maybe you could have a word with the person who wrote this?"

Or maybe contact her line manager and suggest some emergency English Language lessons.

Of anonymously send her a copy of "Eats, shoots and leaves" with highlighting on anything dealing with reflexive misuse.

I am struggling to see past the fact you have misspelt 'echoes'.

@MrsExpo

Totally agree ..... and don’t get me started on the use of “sat” and “stood” instead of sitting and standing .....

As in ......”I was sat on a bus .....” ....... AARRGHH .....

Yes, this is another horror.

It's everywhere now.

Unfortunately, because it is everywhere, I rather suspect that very soon it's going to be deemed perfectly acceptable.

@Sapho47 yes, none of the people I know who studied English or linguistics to degree level care a fig about strict grammar, in fact they actively dislike it and tell me it's not how language is supposed to work.

If you know what someone means, then policing their grammar is nothing but snobbery. Perhaps people should remember that not everyone has the same opportunities or education and be a bit less judgemental.

Ha, I've never heard anyone say this before. But if I did, it would drive myself potty.

@toomanycremeeggs

I know someone who refers to her male partner as 'himself'.

Baffles me

Marian Keyes, the novelist does that. I think she knows she's doing it to be funny, and so do her editors and publishers.

I had to type a letter for a manager once who had written 'do not hesitate to contact myself on..' so I corrected it. She made me change it back. She was a right cow on many levels and she was putting me in my place.
I hope the recipient judged her.