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AIBU?

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Original poster

Help - Pregnant or Menopause?

118 replies

Oneeata · 23/02/2021 09:36

Advice/insight needed...
I'm 42, periods as regular as clockwork and I'm 10 days late. Have never used contraception for well over 15 years (withdrawal) I know, I know, I know it's not impossible and really need to take a test but it's just I suppose I'm just kind of in a not knowing/denial state of mind. I've had my usual pre period issues, felt crampy but no sore/achy boobs (which is my main symptom) I'm not stressed out out, have no health issues, have put a little weight on during lockdown - who hasn't 🤷🥰, only issue I'm having at the moment is broken sleep.
I haven't told DH I'm late (it's his birthday today anyway so don't think that would go down well as he blows out his candles) I just don't know if I'm too old to get pregnant or too young to be the start of Menopause. It's 24 years since my last pregnancy and I can't recall my early symptoms at all. Any kind words of encouragement or comfort appreciated 😌

OP posts:
AdditionalCharacter · 23/02/2021 13:33

I've heard peeing on your phone while using the MN app will help people on the internet tell you if you're pregnant or not.
Or do it the old fashioned way and pee on an actual pregnancy test.

giletrouge · 23/02/2021 13:35

My mother was 42 when I was born and they hardly ever had sex (yes, I do know this!). Of course you could be pregnant OP. But there's only one way to find out...and it's not asking mumsnet.

ittakes2 · 23/02/2021 13:36

Menopause doesn't come on that quickly but permenopause does and you are the right age.
But you need to be even more careful at this age as your body can get dodgy and release two eggs so best you sort another form of contraception! My friends step mum fell pregnant naturally at 54!

hollieberrie · 23/02/2021 13:40

@Ellpellwood

You are pregnant, with a boy called James, who will grow up to become an oncologist living in Milton Keynes.

HTH.

Grin
SpiderinaWingMirror · 23/02/2021 13:45

Defo pregnant. I can feel it.

Nsky · 23/02/2021 13:54

My menopause was sudden at 45, two periods close righter then none

Tootsey11 · 23/02/2021 13:59

For those saying too young for meno. Nonsense. I'm through meno at 43. Was in peri from thirties.

Could be meno symptoms, could be pregnant. Get a test.

Hopeful201 · 23/02/2021 14:02

Get a test. I got pg at 46 (I was so embarassed). So yes it happens more than you think!

SnackSizeRaisin · 23/02/2021 14:02

Withdrawal method does work actually..it's on a par with condoms if done consistently. The reason it's not advised is that people tend to not actually withdraw!

Porcupineintherough · 23/02/2021 14:03

That's hardly the norm though is it @Tootsey11?

1WayOrAnother2 · 23/02/2021 14:04

What age did other relations have menopause - and what is the oldest any have conceived?

... the only way to tell is a test.

TheyIsMyFamily · 23/02/2021 14:08

I had my last one in my early 40s. Easily. Imagine that's too early for menopause for most women...?

brassmonkeywife · 23/02/2021 14:27

Hello OP - I'm genuinely sorry you've got this worry. When we had sex ed classes in secondary school, I've always remembered that Miss Eldridge told us that using if we used the withdrawal method we could come to a sticky end ......

Tootsey11 · 23/02/2021 15:17

@Porcupineintherough no not the norm, but doctors could find no reason for it to happen to me at 43. My mothers was at 56.

So sometimes it does just happen early.

emwithme · 23/02/2021 15:23

As my granny always said: "What do you call someone who uses the withdrawal method? Parents"

warmandtoasty2day · 23/02/2021 15:24

sorry to be blunt but why ask ? take a test it's no big deal tbh. unless there is back ground to this.

dontdisturbmenow · 23/02/2021 15:24

Menopause doesn't come on that quickly
You mean by starting to have longer and/or shorter cycles? It's very much the start of the perimenopause and 42 is not that unusual for it to start.

As said, it took me another 6 years to go into full menopause.

Youllbeoldertoo · 23/02/2021 15:25

Good luck with whatever the outcome is x

Somethingsnappy · 23/02/2021 15:46

Pregnant!

Plus, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that, since you've been using the withdrawal method, you have done it with the idea of a possible pregnancy being not unwelcome,... In which case may I wish you tentative congratulations? Smile. Please come back and update us!

doublehalo · 23/02/2021 15:57

@dontdisturbmenow

Menopause doesn't come on that quickly You mean by starting to have longer and/or shorter cycles? It's very much the start of the perimenopause and 42 is not that unusual for it to start.

As said, it took me another 6 years to go into full menopause.

OP said her periods are regular as clockwork and she's 10 days late.

Menopause doesn't come on in a fortnight. Perimenopause is a different matter but even that doesn't come on in a fortnight.

Cinderellashoes · 23/02/2021 16:08

Please come back and update us? Sorry you’ve had some snarky replies. Hope you get the result you want x

TinyTear · 23/02/2021 16:11

I was 42 when i had my youngest

RelaisBlu · 23/02/2021 16:21

Average ago for menopause is 10 years older than you are.

Pregnancy is a far more likely explanation.

CutePixie · 23/02/2021 16:26

@AryaStarkWolf

At 42 you're more likely to be pregnant than be starting Menopause I would think
I know someone who started the menopause aged 23. But I agree with PP, she should’ve used contraception.
endlesswicker · 23/02/2021 16:35

You're not too old to get pregnant. Nor are you too young to be starting perimenopause - I started mine in my late 30's. It could be either. If a pregnancy test is negative, then make an appointment to speak to your GP.