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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Help - Pregnant or Menopause?

118 replies

Oneeata · 23/02/2021 09:36

Advice/insight needed...
I'm 42, periods as regular as clockwork and I'm 10 days late. Have never used contraception for well over 15 years (withdrawal) I know, I know, I know it's not impossible and really need to take a test but it's just I suppose I'm just kind of in a not knowing/denial state of mind. I've had my usual pre period issues, felt crampy but no sore/achy boobs (which is my main symptom) I'm not stressed out out, have no health issues, have put a little weight on during lockdown - who hasn't 🤷🥰, only issue I'm having at the moment is broken sleep.
I haven't told DH I'm late (it's his birthday today anyway so don't think that would go down well as he blows out his candles) I just don't know if I'm too old to get pregnant or too young to be the start of Menopause. It's 24 years since my last pregnancy and I can't recall my early symptoms at all. Any kind words of encouragement or comfort appreciated 😌

OP posts:
memememe · 23/02/2021 11:35

only a test can tell you.... that or bloods from the drs. a bunch of strangers on the internet wont know!

Rollerboots · 23/02/2021 11:52

A friend had a surprise pregnancy at 45, thought it was the menopause.
First she knew was she felt movement.. she was 18 weeks.
Get a test!

MaryShelley1818 · 23/02/2021 11:56

Well you're definitely not too old!

I'm 42 and currently have my 3wk old baby asleep on my chest.

MrsTulipTattsyrup · 23/02/2021 12:13

You have periods. You have regular unprotected sex. Of course you’re probably pregnant. Take a test. Hiding from it won’t make it go away.

And if it’s negative, get contraception sorted pronto tonto. Women have been having ‘menopause babies’ for generations. If you don’t want one you have to take charge to make sure you don’t.

GrandTheftWalrus · 23/02/2021 12:19

Get a test.

BrumBoo · 23/02/2021 12:22

@HeidiHaughton

Pregnant, with twins.
Yes, probably already 7 months gone as the usual MN way....
Snowymcsnowsony · 23/02/2021 12:24

I had ds at 43.2....

lubeybooby · 23/02/2021 12:25

of course you're not too old, go and get a proper digital test now so you have no quibbles over line/no line etc

VestaTilley · 23/02/2021 12:30

Go and get a test today. Tell DH tomorrow. And don’t delay thinking about what you’ll do if you are pregnant.

Cinderellashoes · 23/02/2021 12:33

Op I hope you get the result you want either way. Defo get a test today.

Ellpellwood · 23/02/2021 12:46

You are pregnant, with a boy called James, who will grow up to become an oncologist living in Milton Keynes.

HTH.

pumpkinpie01 · 23/02/2021 12:48

I'm shocked that the withdrawal method has worked for 15 years!

lockdownalli · 23/02/2021 12:50

What do you call people who use the withdrawal "method?"

Parents Grin

CecilyP · 23/02/2021 12:52

On the balance of probabilities, it is more likely that you are pregnant! The majority of women are still fertile in their early 40s, and the menopose does not usually start till late 40s. Happened to a friend of mine, thought it was the menopause but then had her second at 42 which was 21 years after her first. Best to get a test!

TheVanguardSix · 23/02/2021 12:53

It would be unusual, with a 24-year gap since your last pregnancy and 15 years of withdrawal method, to totally bypass the 'prime 30s' and get pregnant now at 42. It happens. It's possible.

Cloudyrainsham · 23/02/2021 12:54

I’ve no idea when I started peri menopause but my periods stopped completely at 44. I only missed one and no other symptoms. It could well be peri menopause but only a pregnancy test will say for Sue but you know that xx

Hazelmazel · 23/02/2021 12:59

I started perimenopause at 42 having been regular as clockwork. It took months and months and months and tests, scans, appointments etc to convince GP that's what it was because it IS early to start menopause at that age. Much more likely to be pregnancy if you are having sex without contraception.
Don't put it off, that won't change whether you are pregnant or not. Go and get a test - or order one from Amazon if you need to. Then you can deal with what you do next once you know.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 23/02/2021 13:03

I asked Mystic Meg for you and she says you're pregnant. Oh, and your lucky lottery number is 17 and you should watch out for a yellow car bringing a gift from a long lost friend.

Arrierttyclock · 23/02/2021 13:05

Oh god I'd test soon! good luck OP

GettingItOutThere · 23/02/2021 13:06

get a test lol. not impossible!

Mellonsprite · 23/02/2021 13:19

@pumpkinpie01

I'm shocked that the withdrawal method has worked for 15 years!
Yes me too, pretty gobsmacked !
SlothMama · 23/02/2021 13:26

Why ask the internet when you could just take a test?

Amummyatlast · 23/02/2021 13:28

I’m perimenopausal at 39 and have been for a few years, so it’s not unheard of. Also not used contraception for over 10 years, but that’s unexplained infertility for you.

doublehalo · 23/02/2021 13:28

Menopause doesn't come on that quickly.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 23/02/2021 13:31

I'm amazed you've been so cavalier with contraception for so long and got away with it.