To think it's very rude to ring somebody at 7.30 in the morning

[ImNotAMorningPerson]

Unless it's particularly important or an emergency?

@therealteamdebbie

Thing is, your perception of manners isn’t necessarily universal. Plenty here don’t think it’s rude calling someone at 730.

really?

Start a thread about your MIL calling you at 7:30 and see how that goes...
or the neighbour starting a loud car at 7:30.

Some posters are contrary for the fun of it. The majority of people do think it's rude.

Read the thread. There are plenty of posters on both sides.

Bit naive to claim people who disagree with you are doing it to be contrary!

See my works theory is we are more likely to speak to people at 8am as they're heading to work rather than ringing at 9am when they're working
But we ring any time between 8am - 6.30pm

YANBU. My colleague is an early riser and will happily call clients at that time. Clients then call back and moan at me about it like I made the call.

You didn’t miss it
The op steadfastly ignored questions re what the actual purpose of the call was
And hasn't said whether their DH was down as the primary contact vs they told nursery that they want them to call DH in the morning because they don't want to be disturbed.

Essentially, the two reasonably important pieces of information have been left out.

Read the thread. There are plenty of posters on both sides.

Bit naive to claim people who disagree with you are doing it to be contrary!

i have read the thread, my point stands.

There are also many of us who are easily up until midnight or later. We still accept that it's considered rude to call someone at 11pm.

So people who are "up" at dawn do not change the rudeness about phone calls at unsociable hours. It's just basic manner.

Some posters will tell you that there's nothing wrong with ignoring RSPV or using your cutlery wrong. Still rude...

YANBU I think that is a crazy time to phone someone. Yes, I am awake at 7.30am. I would never phone someone before 9am or after 9pm.

I think 8 is the earliest that would be reasonable.

But these threads complaining about schools calling the 'wrong' parent do my head in. It's the parents themselves who fill in the contact form, which is clearly set out in priority order.

The person you put in the number one row will be the person called first. So FFS think it through when you fill it in.

It's ridiculous to think that any school can keep tabs on who drops off which child (and that arent might not be the one available for the rest of the day anyway). And even if the child's teacher or key worker knows, it's usually office staff that call, and they refer to the contact form.

But these threads complaining about schools calling the 'wrong' parent do my head in. It's the parents themselves who fill in the contact form, which is clearly set out in priority order.

The person you put in the number one row will be the person called first. So FFS think it through when you fill it in.

You must have missed the posters who have stated they did put their child's father down first, yet still got the call.

You must have missed the posters who have stated they did put their child's father down first, yet still got the call.
She didn't say that.
She said nursery have his number and that she had asked them to call him because he does morning drop offs.

That isn't the same thing as having her husband as primary contact, and the OP hasn't been back to confirm whether he was primary contact or not.

@therealteamdebbie

Read the thread. There are plenty of posters on both sides.

Bit naive to claim people who disagree with you are doing it to be contrary!

i have read the thread, my point stands.

There are also many of us who are easily up until midnight or later. We still accept that it's considered rude to call someone at 11pm.

So people who are "up" at dawn do not change the rudeness about phone calls at unsociable hours. It's just basic manner.

Some posters will tell you that there's nothing wrong with ignoring RSPV or using your cutlery wrong. Still rude...

I told you to read the thread because you responded ‘really?’ to my point that plenty of people think it isn’t rude. You’d have known that was the case if you’d read the thread. Your own opinion either way isn’t really interesting to me to be honest.

These posts make me close my eyes and shudder at the sleep deprivation days. I drafted a text to my neighbour when ds was about 8 months asking if they could not hover between 11 and 1 as ds was napping. I couldn't get the words quite right and thankfully got less tired as time went on so didn't send it.

I think this is fine. This is within their opening hours. YABU.

Office hours are still a thing. Personally I wouldn't ring someone before 8.30 (9 ideally) unless it was really important.
I would also think that nurseries do notice who is dropping off a child each day. Surely there's some kind of handover?

@LolaSmiles

You must have missed the posters who have stated they did put their child's father down first, yet still got the call. She didn't say that. She said nursery have his number and that she had asked them to call him because he does morning drop offs.

That isn't the same thing as having her husband as primary contact, and the OP hasn't been back to confirm whether he was primary contact or not.

In all the threads I've seen where someone complains about the 'wrong' person getting called, I don't remember a single time when the OP has answered the obvious question they've been asked "Who did you put down as first contact on the form?". They've always gone quiet.

@MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously

Office hours are still a thing. Personally I wouldn't ring someone before 8.30 (9 ideally) unless it was really important. I would also think that nurseries do notice who is dropping off a child each day. Surely there's some kind of handover?

What if the parent handing over is doing so on the way to work?

Contact forms exist for a reason.

Obviously if it's important then you ring whatever parent you can get hold off. But if it isn't urgent, then nurseries could call the first contact after 8.30.

We get text messages at 7.30am if school is closed. If you don't want to get important calls from nursery at 7.30am the leave your phone downstairs

You are not being unreasonable OP. This is rude and would piss me off too!

@bruffin

I never put my phone on silent at night in case someone does try to phone me for an emergency I wouldn't want to miss it - don't understand the posts saying they can't understand why someone wouldn't put their phone on DND or silent over night🤔

Because you can select who is able to contact you when dnd is on. I have dh and dc set up.

My DP works away in a job that can be dangerous, I'm his emergency contact, it isn't a set number that can be added.
When my DGD died a couple of years ago, my DG phoned off a friends number as she was in a panic, again not a number I could have added

Yes that's inconsiderate. The last time I got a call that early was to be told my father had died so I would assume it's an emergency

Anything after 10:30pm and before 8am is "dead persons reservation hours", or so it's known in my circle. I can guarantee if I've ever received a call between those times, it's to tell me someone is either dead or dying. I already know it's bad news before I answer the call, and i take a long look at the phone before I pick it up. So I'd be miffed to receive a general call at that time.

saraclara
You're right.
Contact is generally made in the order of contacts listed on the form and parents get to decide who the primary contact is. If someone doesn't want to be called first then they can put the other parent first.

Early days, I once had to remind our nursery to call DH first and they were great. Sometimes places do make mistake, but like you say most threads about the wrong person being called tend to lack information about who was primary contact (and usually that is crucial to saying if someone IBU).

As it’s a nursery then that time is fine - as they probably wouldn’t have time to ring later on with the children there but other things I would be annoyed about as even if most people are awake they are usually getting ready for work/driving there etc.

@ColdBrightClearMorning

Also baffled that anyone would panic if they were called at 730am!

3am, sure.

But 730am!?

It would be extremely unusual for anyone to call me this early! The only time I've ever received a call that early it was bad news, so yes I would panic.

In all the threads I've seen where someone complains about the 'wrong' person getting called, I don't remember a single time when the OP has answered the obvious question they've been asked "Who did you put down as first contact on the form?". They've always gone quiet.

I wasn't talking about other threads. There are posts in this thread where it's happened.