To want a houseplants that just bloody lives

[Purplerayhan]

That's all. No matter how much I read the instructions and follow them, source from proper garden centres, read up on the best plants for the room THEY JUST KEEP ON DYING. Even a sodding cactus went to the great compost heapnin the sky. I see other people's rooms with lush plants and I'm jealous.
And yes, I do have other things to be thinking about. No, I don't have much of a life. Yes, I talk to them but th singing might have finished them off.
Grrrrrrr!
YABU - clearly you're the Harold Shipman of horticulture, suck it up
YANBU - they are bottomless pits of promise and money, get over your hatred of plastic flowers

I’ve killed Peace Lillie several times

Ferns love lots of water as long as drainage good. And lots of misting

I'm the same OP. I research and buy only 'unkillable' plants - and I promptly proceed to kill them all. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong, I follow the instructions.

With succulents the trick is to put them in a shallow dish and put water in the dish.

I have as mentioned peace lilies which do well, and a radiator plant that seems to just keep going.

DH has declared the aloe vera has got to be moved as it's in the way where it is as it's got too big; I don't think I ever do anything with it 😆

Aloe vera.

It has grown massive. Multiple times and had loads of offshoots. They grow huge if you give them miracle grow, plenty of sunlight and tonnes of water.

I have split mine loads of times and its genes have propogated to multiple houses.

The biggest problem is finding a pot big enough to hold them.

I have killed two of these.

My top picks for not dying are:
Money plant
Chinese money plant
Air plant
Rubber plant
Grape ivy
Geraniums
All hard to kill. Put on windowsill. Water seldom. Make sure they are not sitting in water and allow to dry out between waterings.

Fromthegekko · 24/02/2021 20:02
ZZ plant. Only thing that has ever thrived under my watch.

Didnt realise this was a long running thread. I’ve just read through it. The above PP is me and I’ve since killed the sodding thing.

However the rubber plant and the snake plants I bought at the same time are still thriving so far and I’ve still got my two jade plants that I’ve had for 17 years. I’m thinking of getting a pothos and trying my luck with that.

I research and buy only 'unkillable' plants - and I promptly proceed to kill them all. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong, I follow the instructions.

This.
Just this.

I find that my plants thrive on neglect, I have a Christmas cactus that must be at least 25 years old, a Monstera that we bought one Easter because it looked dead and we thought it was a good time for resurrection and I have the most glorious orchid that just goes mad which is about 12 years old.
Overwatering on one of the biggest dangers for house plants and when we have good weather like this week I put them outside somewhere shady.

Try an aspidistra. They’re supposed to be un-killable.

I have a few that Ive managed to keep alive since just before the pandemic. In mu south facing window i have only succulents and cacti. (Mainly for space). All they really need is sunlight, lots of it. I water once a week, sometimes less and they're fine. If you forget they don't mind. I had a monstera there but it went all yellow so i moved it to my east facing bathroom and it totally recovered. I also have devils ivy in there, i think they like the humidity. My kitchen is also east facing so I've got more devils ivy, some jade, a Chinese money plant and this weird plant with red leaves that I'm not sure wants to live or die but is still going so I keep watering it. In my north facing living room pretty much everything has died cause it's so cold and grey so Ive got a snake plant in there which so far seems to be ok.

I think try to match the plant to the type of light/room you have, water once a week, not too often, better less than more because otherwise they get root rot & die faster. The Ivy and the monstera are the most 'sensitive' and will visibly wilt if forget to water so they kind of help you in a way.

Just realised this is an ancient thread!!

I'm terrible with houseplants, except I took over my MILs Christmas cactus when she died 6 years ago and it's still going strong! So I recommend a Christmas cactus.

My aloe Vera is a funny one! It sometimes looks a bit brown but then if I leave it in a shaded area it goes back to green. It doesn’t seem to grow though?!!!!!! Do you know why this would be???

You need some advice at the garden centre!

Trouble is I do listen to the advice but I’m clearly still doing something wrong 😑

As someone who kills plants, cacti and succulents are super easy as long as they're in the right position - they need to be on a windowsill (preferably south facing but mine are ok west facing) or in something like a conservatory. They're not right for a bathroom (and maybe kitchen) as it's too humid. They need watering (maybe with some cacti feed) once a week between April ish and October. They don't like sitting in water so always let it drain and if you need to repot them use free draining cacti compost. The worst thing you can do is over-water, they can easily cope with not being watered and don't need watering at all from Oct to April ish.

I have a spider plant in my bathroom, that seems pretty unkillable too.

My fern…

I have a Sansevieria 'Moonshine' that is unkillable. I nearly killed a peace lily over my holidays as 2 weeks with no water turned it yellow. That has come back. My 6 year old has succulents that are doing well. Neglect is the answer in her case.

Have you tried one of the smaller monsteras? I got one from Sainsbury's and haven't been able to kill it despite occasional neglect! If anything it's growing too well and seems to have a new bit each time I look at it, it used to sit on the radiator cover behind the sofa but has had to be relocated due to it's excessive growth, I must get it a bigger pot

@ILikeDinosaurs don’t worry I still need helping 🫣