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AIBU?

To want a houseplants that just bloody lives

228 replies

Purplerayhan · 22/02/2021 22:41

That's all. No matter how much I read the instructions and follow them, source from proper garden centres, read up on the best plants for the room THEY JUST KEEP ON DYING. Even a sodding cactus went to the great compost heapnin the sky. I see other people's rooms with lush plants and I'm jealous.
And yes, I do have other things to be thinking about. No, I don't have much of a life. Yes, I talk to them but th singing might have finished them off.
Grrrrrrr!
YABU - clearly you're the Harold Shipman of horticulture, suck it up
YANBU - they are bottomless pits of promise and money, get over your hatred of plastic flowers

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

221 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
34%
You are NOT being unreasonable
66%
Burthistle · 25/02/2021 12:34

I don't suppose anyone can advise what I should do with this please or if it is in fact dead? Orchids and peace lilies I can do. Not this! Its a NW facing window. Thank you!

To want a houseplants that just bloody lives
BalancedIndividual · 25/02/2021 12:39

@Burthistle

I don't suppose anyone can advise what I should do with this please or if it is in fact dead? Orchids and peace lilies I can do. Not this! Its a NW facing window. Thank you!

Put your finger in the soil, all the way to the bottom. If its wet, then its a case of overwatering. Take the plant out and repot in fresh soil.

If its right next to the window, I wonder if its too cold?
Birchtwistle · 25/02/2021 18:31

Thank you, balanced, I'll check!

Mypathtriedtokillme · 26/02/2021 09:09

@Burthistle

I don't suppose anyone can advise what I should do with this please or if it is in fact dead? Orchids and peace lilies I can do. Not this! Its a NW facing window. Thank you!

It’s a Kentia palm?
It looks like it’s been burnt by the sun coming through the window plus too much water.
They like low light, cooler temperatures, sandy soil and water sparely.

They native Lord Howe island so think temperate extinct volcanic island off the Australian coast.
They are tough and a other that thrives on neglect and dislike being over watered.
BeastOfBODMAS · 26/02/2021 09:15

I have spider plants that an ex gave me about 5 years ago. They live on top of the dresser with a minimal amount of indirect light and get watered once in a blue moon and they Will Not Die.

Would you like them? I’ve no doubt the bastards would thrive in the post too.

moanieleminx · 26/02/2021 10:32

I am an avid houseplant collector/murderer. It's really hit and miss with me. Snake plants, papyrus and monkey mask... perfect.

Jade plants, peace Lily and monstera, absolutely not.

Plus I cannot resist anything reduced that looks as if it is on its last legs.

It doesn't help when I have to go away for 3/4 weeks at a time and DH and DC forget to water the plants. Despite reminders... my poor 7 foot ficus dropped so many leaves last autumn and they still have not fully recovered... it's quite sad. At least there are signs of new growth.

Purplerayhan · 27/02/2021 07:06

Such great advice on hereGrin
Ok, I'm going to take the plunge with a plant for the bathroom windowsill rather than the original room if anyone can advise me. It's a v bright, small South facing room that's gets quite steamy from the shower.
You've all inspired me to be a house plant mummy!

OP posts:
Bedsheets4knickers · 27/02/2021 07:53

I could of written this OP . I'm fine with garden plants but indoor 🤷🏻‍♀️

Purplerayhan · 27/02/2021 09:42

Not even fine with outside onesConfused

OP posts:
MrsBotibolsCruise · 27/02/2021 09:49

@Purplerayhan I am not an expert but I have a heart leaf philodendron on the windowsill in our downstairs loo - low-ish light levels which I thought would prove no good for it but it’s absolutely thriving! It’s been really easy to grow so maybe that could be an option? It’s trailing and looks gorgeous.

I know ferns are meant to be good for bathrooms but I think they like low light and lots of people here have said they can be temperamental to grow....:

PamDemic · 27/02/2021 09:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Soubriquet · 27/02/2021 09:54

My dh is brilliant with indoor plants

Can make them last ages, even delicate little orchids

I can keep a bonsai tree alive

But between us, we suck at outdoor plants

I planted a beautiful bee garden last year. Fucker died within weeks Angry

MrsBotibolsCruise · 27/02/2021 10:01

God we’ve had loads of garden plant disasters.

Our neighbour is a proper expert and has given us loads of plants, which I suspect are too advanced for our level of expertise (ie thicko level). Most of them have died. I’m absolutely dreading inviting him round in the summer as he’ll ask where they all are....... answer to that is the green bin 😂

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 27/02/2021 10:05

Wandering Sailor

Oh yes , when I had guinea-pigs as a child they managed to eat a load of these , like locusts they were Shock
Happily the guineas were ok and the plants grew back better than ever .

I really don't like houseplants but I did have a gorgeous Asparagus Fern , you could see the growth after 24 hours and the new shoots did look like asparagus .

2 cats now ,, houseplants would be knocked over or chewed , no I'm passing .

NorthernChinchilla · 27/02/2021 10:12

For a laugh, may I point you towards Classics, as there's a fairly recent thread on there about fugly plants That Will Not Die, despite the attempts of the owners- hilarious.

I'm green fingered outside and variable in. I wasnt well end of last year so plants got more neglected than is good for them. I now have a little hospital where I'm tending to the survivors! I had a load of spider plant babies in a pint of water by the sink for 6 months, which were very happy, have just shoved them in some soil so fingers crossed. My north facing, no direct light conservatory (it's about 2 inches sq, long story) seems to be the best place, got loads in there that are thriving!

Over watering is definitely the enemy.....

readit · 27/02/2021 10:20

I am a plant killer but felt my house looked like it was missing something.

Over lockdown I started a subscription to leaf envy and get a plant with a pot delivered every two months. They come with instructions on how to care for them and I have two months to learn do that before the next one arrives. I’m now on plant three and they are thriving and make me very happy. Also, they’re not plants I would have chosen for myself but I really like the variety I’ve been sent.

At £35 for a plant and pot it’s not cheap but the money has made me keen to keep them alive. I’m CEV so don’t go out but you could always to something similar by choosing a new plant from a garden centre every 2-3 months.

It’s a bit early to say my murderous tendencies have been cured, but it looks positive so far

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 27/02/2021 10:24

There is only one plant I have not murdered and that was a gift from my last employer when I left. Its a large jar garden, the cork has never been removed and it lives on and on. I've had it for three years now.
Apparently you are never supposed to remove the lid and they create their own ecosystem in there. There is a guy that has had them for years and years.

biologicperformance.com/sealed-bottle-terrarium-garden-watered-once-53-years/

nonevernotever · 27/02/2021 10:50

Am I the only person that kills peace lilies then? For many years the only plant I could keep alive was a weeping fig. I nearly killed it in the beginning, shoved it in an alcove out of the way and accidentally discovered that it will happily cope with all sorts of neglect re watering etc but just hates draughts. It's now 6 foot tall. The peace lilies are all dead, but the blue fern now seems reasonably happy in the bathroom and the spider plant has just had babies.

nonevernotever · 27/02/2021 11:03

@38Ridingthegravytrain if your weeping fig is normally happy but is dropping all of its leaves it may need repotting. That's what ours does when it wants a bigger pot. Otherwise they seem to like light, but not direct sunlight and no draughts and will then happily cope with lots of neglect

MrsBotibolsCruise · 27/02/2021 11:06

Does anyone else find spider plants revolting and creepy? I don’t care if they can survive a nuclear bombing, I hate the bloody things. They’re the only plant that gives me the complete heebie-jeebies 😂

pourmeanotherglass · 27/02/2021 11:11

DD is going through a plant phase, and the peace lily is the longest lived so far. Spider plants are also fairly unkillable. Succulents are far too easy to under or over water, so weve killed a few of those. Even cactii are not as easy as you might think.

ShinyMe · 27/02/2021 11:17

@MrsBotibolsCruise

Does anyone else find spider plants revolting and creepy? I don’t care if they can survive a nuclear bombing, I hate the bloody things. They’re the only plant that gives me the complete heebie-jeebies 😂

I used to hate them as a child. I hated the messiness and the droopiness.

Then I saw one recently in a garden centre that I really liked, and realised it was that particular one I'd disliked. My mum always had a standard typical variegated one, which was very droopy in shape and which she left with lots of babies hanging off, which I found messy. I got an dark-green one (variety is called 'lemon') which is very upright and looks like a fountain. I've been snipping off the babies and putting on, and now I have several which I really like.
MrsBotibolsCruise · 27/02/2021 11:19

Shiny me I’ll have a look! Thanks

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 27/02/2021 11:26

Whenever l buy a houseplant l just refer to it as a ‘planttokill’

I don’t like to get my hopes up😁

I’ve killed so many ivies

ShinyMe · 27/02/2021 11:34

Here's my big spider plant (on top of the shelves) and one of her babies below, plus my favourite baby on the second pic. You can also see a baby from my mum's spider plant on the 3rd shelf down. So far it's not too messy....

To want a houseplants that just bloody lives
To want a houseplants that just bloody lives
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