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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would a little common decency have hurt?

549 replies

Weezapleeza · 22/02/2021 17:10

My nephew lost control of his R/C car and it went into the road. A few seconds later a woman in a Discovery ran right over it but apparently without batting an eyelid. She didn't slow down or stop either before or after. It was like she'd just flattened it in passing. Then the acknowledgement came. A couple of minutes later she pulled up outside the drive, wound down her window, and asked him the most incredible question. "Did you enjoy that?" She was furious, and rude, and he was in tears. That seemed to give her an answer but all she did then was drive off again. No apology, nothing. AIBU to expect better?

OP posts:

CrazylazyJane · 23/02/2021 17:25

Good lord! I don't blame the woman for shouting at your nephew. When something catches your eye, as it crosses the path of your car, you don't have time assess what it is. You either drive over it or swerve and possibly cause an accident. I'd be raging. Perhaps not best directed at a small child but I'd be cross with you as the adult supervising said child.

ferretface · 23/02/2021 17:29

I wouldn't have apologised if I were the driver. I would probably have been angry also, as much out of shock as anything, because I'd have had the experience of something shooting out and feeling it being run over which is not a nice thing even if she saw it was a toy car, and she may not have done. It could have been hard to control the impulse to swerve which would have been even more dangerous. She was maybe harsh but it is totally understandable and so imo it's unreasonable to have expected a different response.

knockles · 23/02/2021 17:32

Silly cow! These things happen with children. Miserable woman.

Itgetsthehoseagain · 23/02/2021 17:37

I don't like her passive-aggressive stance, but I understand her annoyance. You let him play with a toy that, if he lost control, could be dangerous. Kids are kids, so it's up to us to guide them. Are you sure she wasn't aiming the "Did you enjoy that?" at you? I think I might have...

ferretface · 23/02/2021 17:38

Re the people getting angry at other people using rural roads, the difference is that pedestrians, cyclists, horses etc are allowed on roads and should follow the highway code relevant to them and exercise caution. This includes for pedestrians facing oncoming traffic if the road is a single carriageway, which is so you have better visibility and can chuck yourself into the verge if a vehicle is approaching too close/too fast.

It's not even slightly the same as operating a remote controlled vehicle on the roads which is not allowed anyway.

numberoneson · 23/02/2021 17:39

@EarringsandLipstick

Some of you just aren't reading the OP's posts.

My nephew lost control of his R/C car and it went into the road.

He didn't deliberately send it out onto the road. It sounds like he was playing with it eg on the path & it went on the road accidentally.

She didn't slow down or stop either before or after.

If it was in a residential area, she presumably would have been going slowly to begin with. Maybe she couldn't have stopped / slowed down in advance, but she could have afterwards.

"Did you enjoy that?"
I'm not saying she shouldn't have been a bit cross but being nasty to a child isn't on. Why couldn't she have said 'look, that was dangerous / gave me a fright / in future please do x or y'?

Yes OP and / or child should apologise. No the driver shouldn't have been needlessly rude & made a child cry.

Absolutely this.

isadorapolly · 23/02/2021 17:41

The remote controlled car shouldn’t have ended up in the road BUT her driving up and being nasty afterwards was out of order and I’d have knocked her out tbh.

nimbuscloud · 23/02/2021 17:42

and I’d have knocked her out tbh.

No you wouldn’t have. Stop being silly.

Localocal · 23/02/2021 17:44

Depends how old your nephew is. If he is over 10 or so and she might have thought he did it on purpose her anger is understandable. Some kids might think it would be funny to do that, and if I were the driver I would be startled and stressed by it. It sounds to me like she thought he did it deliberately. But if he is little then yes, she was being horrible.

nimbuscloud · 23/02/2021 17:46

He’s 12.

Jaxhog · 23/02/2021 17:49

He shouldn't have had it in the road. But her attitude was utterly wrong.

If his car was there, presumably so was he. Drivers are supposed to note and avoid hazards. She could have run him over. Stupid woman.

oakleaffy · 23/02/2021 17:51

Range Rovers are known as Cnutmobiles for a reason, @Weezapleeza

Not proper Landies, but the ones people have in Cities.

nimbuscloud · 23/02/2021 17:51

If his car was there, presumably so was he

No he wasn’t. He drove it out into the road. The op eventually agreed that he may have done it on purpose.

swelchphr · 23/02/2021 17:53

I’m shocked that 2/3 of the voters are siding with the driver. No, he shouldn’t have been playing with it in the road, but it was an accident. The VU part was her pulling over to taunt him over it and then driving away. What a nasty thing to do.

LouJ85 · 23/02/2021 17:55

"Did you enjoy that?"
I'm not saying she shouldn't have been a bit cross but being nasty to a child isn't on. Why couldn't she have said 'look, that was dangerous / gave me a fright / in future please do x or y'?

Totally agree. The response is bizarre and passive aggressive.

VinylDetective · 23/02/2021 17:56

@LouJ85

*"Did you enjoy that?" I'm not saying she shouldn't have been a bit cross but being nasty to a child isn't on. Why couldn't she have said 'look, that was dangerous / gave me a fright / in future please do x or y'?*

Totally agree. The response is bizarre and passive aggressive.

Not even very passive. She was a bitch.

nimbuscloud · 23/02/2021 17:56

No, he shouldn’t have been playing with it in the road, but it was an accident.

The op did admit that her 12 year old nephew may have deliberately driven it into the road. Was he trying to frighten drivers? Cause an accident?

Cadent · 23/02/2021 17:57

@GirlInterruptedAgain

Little ladies in big cars. Nuff said.

ODFOD, 99% of the dickhead drivers I meet are men and they're sexist o boot.

LouJ85 · 23/02/2021 17:59

@VinylDetective

Well... yeah.

Hesma · 23/02/2021 18:01

Her comment was out of Oder but the child shouldn’t be playing near a road if the can’t control their toys... could have been very dangerous

Hereiam2 · 23/02/2021 18:02

R/C's should never be anywhere near a main road, nor should a child, you where very lucky it wasn't him, please take more care in the future, toy cars can be replaced a child can't.

longdressed · 23/02/2021 18:02

I think it's highly unlikely she deliberately decided to run it over after seeing it - she had no way of knowing that it wouldn't turn into a significant accident.

Tessabelle74 · 23/02/2021 18:03

It was mean to provoke him when he was upset, but he shouldn't have been playing with it on the road, what if it had stopped and he'd run out to check it and she'd hit him instead? Luckily this time it WAS just a toy

Shimmyingmetacos · 23/02/2021 18:03

@oakleaffy

Range Rovers are known as Cnutmobiles for a reason, *@Weezapleeza*

Not proper Landies, but the ones people have in Cities.

Think you’ll find it was a Discovery -which is a Land Rover

Shimmyingmetacos · 23/02/2021 18:05

Off topic but

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