Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would a little common decency have hurt?

549 replies

Weezapleeza · 22/02/2021 17:10

My nephew lost control of his R/C car and it went into the road. A few seconds later a woman in a Discovery ran right over it but apparently without batting an eyelid. She didn't slow down or stop either before or after. It was like she'd just flattened it in passing. Then the acknowledgement came. A couple of minutes later she pulled up outside the drive, wound down her window, and asked him the most incredible question. "Did you enjoy that?" She was furious, and rude, and he was in tears. That seemed to give her an answer but all she did then was drive off again. No apology, nothing. AIBU to expect better?

OP posts:
bourbonne · 22/02/2021 22:41

Sounds terrifying, @typicalvalues.

Hotzenplotz · 22/02/2021 22:42

Don't play with toys on the road!

IsThisNews · 22/02/2021 22:42

The driver being cross is not the worst thing that could've happened here. What if she'd been startled, swerved the car and hit someone? Toys like that shouldn't be played with on or by the road.

UrAWizHarry · 22/02/2021 22:43

@typicalvalues

Something like this happened to me many years ago. It was on a rural road, though a main road so to speak. It was dark and I was driving along. Suddenly, out of nowhere, there were 2 absolute MUPPETS walking along wearing dark clothes and no reflectors whatsoever. Thankfully there wasn't any oncoming traffic and my reaction was quick enough to swerve to avoid the pair of cunts. Well I beeped that horn for about half a mile. Only for I was running late for a meeting I would have stopped and told the pair of fools that they were lucky they hadn't killed me, themselves and maybe oncoming drivers/passengers. So ridiculous. I got such a fright, and that immediately turned into rage!
The phrase "suddenly, out of nowhere" usually means "I was driving too fast for the conditions".

If you can't stop in the distance you can see, you are going to fast. You have headlights, yes?

typicalvalues · 22/02/2021 22:47

Yes I have headlights and was driving at the speed limit, but they only became visible when they were caught in the headlights which meant I had seconds to react. About 1 second to react actually.

typicalvalues · 22/02/2021 22:48

If I had been remotely distracted, I would have killed them.

typicalvalues · 22/02/2021 22:49

This was also a road with a lot of articulated trucks on the route. If one of those had come up behind them, they quite simply would not have had the ability to avoid them.

typicalvalues · 22/02/2021 22:54

I hope me beeping the horn warned the pair how dangerous they were. I could have had an articulated truck coming towards us and wouldn't have been able to swerve. Or a few cars. Or someone behind me. It quite simply could have been carnage. I think beeping the horn to warn them was a very mild reaction. A completely unlit rural road, with no high vis anything, walking on the road! Not even in single file - side by side!!

Bluntness100 · 22/02/2021 23:00

To be honest,I don’t think “did you enjoy that” is that nasty. People are talking like she called him all sorts of profanities and offered to knee cap him or something. In fact I think she was rather restrained. I’d have had a lot more to say, but to the op. Confused

Sapho47 · 22/02/2021 23:03

@Weezapleeza

My nephew lost control of his R/C car and it went into the road. A few seconds later a woman in a Discovery ran right over it but apparently without batting an eyelid. She didn't slow down or stop either before or after. It was like she'd just flattened it in passing. Then the acknowledgement came. A couple of minutes later she pulled up outside the drive, wound down her window, and asked him the most incredible question. "Did you enjoy that?" She was furious, and rude, and he was in tears. That seemed to give her an answer but all she did then was drive off again. No apology, nothing. AIBU to expect better?
Yes you should expect better. Next time you should make sure your nephew apologises for doing something as stupid and dangerous as driving an rc car in traffic.

Lucky the lithium battery didn't hurt anyone

Sapho47 · 22/02/2021 23:06

@Weezapleeza

That's what I thought. He made a mistake and his car went in the road and the way it looked she just basically drove right over it. Even if she saw it late she could have been a bit nicer.
So what would have happened if instead of a 4x4 that had been a motorcycle?
WeAllHaveWings · 22/02/2021 23:08

OP, just be grateful the kid didn't react and run out in the road to try to save his toy.

Lesson learned, don't play with unpredictable toys near roads.

Mookie81 · 22/02/2021 23:10

@Haveyouallgonequitemad

What an absolute nasty bitch. So what if child was playing near road where he probably shouldn't thats what they do he could have been told off no need to flatten his toy and then gloat and bitch about it. I get she may not have been able to stop but to come back and do that she is no better than cruella de ville I would have taken her number plate and probably screamed at her and possibly kicked her car evil witch
Absolute trash.
Nith · 22/02/2021 23:33

But it was stationery for a good few seconds before she completely squashed it so it all looked a bit casual

I'm wondering why you think the driver should have reacted in time to avoid the toy, but don't think your nephew should have reacted in time to get his car out of the way rather than leaving it stationary?

BadLad · 22/02/2021 23:35

Looks like conclusion has been reached, so just one question left to ask you, OP.

Did you enjoy that?

Mittens030869 · 23/02/2021 00:05

Your nephew was completely in the wrong, OP, but I realise that you know that. It would have really been a shock for the driver hence her anger. I would have felt the same as she did, though I can’t imagine going back to shout at a young boy like that.

ArchbishopOfBanterbury · 23/02/2021 00:18

If it was stationary for a few seconds, why the hell didn't he back up? I can see her assuming that a 12 year old who drives his RC into the path of an oncoming car, and sits and waits, wants it run over. How long was she meant to wait?

If in fact, it wasn't that long, and she never stopped, maybe she really didn't see it in time. That's still the 12yo fault, not hers.

He was in the wrong, and his car got broken. It sucks, but he's old enough for consequences. It's a risk he took, driving it on the road.

dontdisturbmenow · 23/02/2021 07:55

Why are you so desperate to pass the blame if the situation on her when it is black and white that you were wrong all around?

Your lack of supervision could have caused a serious accident if I deed it had been a bike. Also the car could have triggered an instinctive reaction to try to avoid it making her drive into another car.

She stopped because the incident probably scared her to death and she had to find her bearings again.

She shouted at your nephew because I deed, his irresponsible actions could have caused a serious accident.

Yet somehow, your only focus is on her poor actions. You acknowledge that you didn't even apologise to her.

Tired of people causing trouble or harm to.othets yet putting all their mental efforts in trying to shift the blame on the victim.

Original poster
Weezapleeza · 23/02/2021 08:07

@BadLad

Looks like conclusion has been reached, so just one question left to ask you, OP.

Did you enjoy that?

I've had a lot of time to think about it. A day for discoveries. I thought maybe one or two people took it a bit far but I can see the anger and understand it. I've actually worked very hard with him on the subject of roads but I'm going to post separately about that.

Not enjoyable as such, no. And I thought I might get a handful of comments, not a couple of hundred.

OP posts:
Sunflowers095 · 23/02/2021 08:20

@User5768

It sounds like you lost control of your nephew.
Yep. Control your kid.

This could have been a motorcycle, a new driver, an older person, etc. Completely irresponsible so don't blame the woman for how she reacted to a dangerous situation caused by the child/parent with negligence.

It's the same when kids try to touch random dogs, no parent in sight, dog bites and then there's outcry. Control your kids and stop blaming other people. He should have apologized.

doublehalo · 23/02/2021 08:33

That's a great life lesson for a kid. Stay the fuck out of the road with yourself and your toys.

She did you a favour. Don't be a cunt about it.

nimbuscloud · 23/02/2021 08:36

I've actually worked very hard with him on the subject of roads but I'm going to post separately about that.

If he has an issue about roads and road safety at the age of 12 then seeking separate advice on that would be a good idea.

Chewingle · 23/02/2021 08:40

I've actually worked very hard with him on the subject of roads but I'm going to post separately about that.

Well that’s just odd. You’re his aunt. And he’s 12

Chewingle · 23/02/2021 08:44

* I knew the toy was in a bad place. When I saw her car coming I knew it even more. At that moment you're not really thinking.*

But given this OP, I think you need to spend a little time working hard on your own road safety approach

CherryRoulade · 23/02/2021 08:56

@nimbuscloud

I've actually worked very hard with him on the subject of roads but I'm going to post separately about that.

If he has an issue about roads and road safety at the age of 12 then seeking separate advice on that would be a good idea.

Absolutely. The issue is that you should have told him the pavement and road are not play spaces. He needs to leave the car at home. It’s not about ‘working with him’ it’s about saying no.

At twelve he should already know that.

Swipe left for the next trending thread