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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would a little common decency have hurt?

549 replies

Weezapleeza · 22/02/2021 17:10

My nephew lost control of his R/C car and it went into the road. A few seconds later a woman in a Discovery ran right over it but apparently without batting an eyelid. She didn't slow down or stop either before or after. It was like she'd just flattened it in passing. Then the acknowledgement came. A couple of minutes later she pulled up outside the drive, wound down her window, and asked him the most incredible question. "Did you enjoy that?" She was furious, and rude, and he was in tears. That seemed to give her an answer but all she did then was drive off again. No apology, nothing. AIBU to expect better?

OP posts:
MyLittleOrangutan · 22/02/2021 21:26

I'd be pretty pissed off if I ran over a kids remote control car tbh. Could have punctured her tire or scratched her car. But i certainly wouldn't be trying to avoid it at the risk of more damage.

EarringsandLipstick · 22/02/2021 21:27

Bobbidy so little if what you wrote makes sense, I won't bother trying to engage.

I'll just say that where I was being sarcastic, I wasn't being personally offensive, as you were. Further, I only did so in response to your comment about 'Oh I don't think DN is on the thread'. You do invite it.

EarringsandLipstick · 22/02/2021 21:30

Sorry Bobbidy I actually do owe you an apology - it wasn't you that said about DN being on the thread! Another poster.

Probably a sign for me to leave it there for tonight.

BobbidyBob · 22/02/2021 21:33

Yes, probably Hmm

Girlonit · 22/02/2021 21:35

Yes @Hepsie.
I can get being cross, but there’s adult ways to deal with things. Its like those drivers who have to rant and swear if someone’s pulled out in front of them even when they’ve acknowledged they were in the wrong. There’s just no need. Yes I might mumble to myself they should pay attention but I’d accept the apology and that’s that. Driving brings out the worst in a lot of people.

BobbidyBob · 22/02/2021 21:37

P.s. English isn’t my first language, so if I’ve made myself unclear then definitely don’t bother trying to understand, for goodness sake.

Summerdayshaze · 22/02/2021 21:46

Regardless, hate to think of a 12 year old boy crying. Hope he’s ok now.

typicalvalues · 22/02/2021 21:52

Something like this happened to me many years ago. It was on a rural road, though a main road so to speak. It was dark and I was driving along. Suddenly, out of nowhere, there were 2 absolute MUPPETS walking along wearing dark clothes and no reflectors whatsoever. Thankfully there wasn't any oncoming traffic and my reaction was quick enough to swerve to avoid the pair of cunts. Well I beeped that horn for about half a mile. Only for I was running late for a meeting I would have stopped and told the pair of fools that they were lucky they hadn't killed me, themselves and maybe oncoming drivers/passengers. So ridiculous. I got such a fright, and that immediately turned into rage!

typicalvalues · 22/02/2021 21:53

It was a road with just one lane either direction and a grass verge. They were ON THE ROAD, walking side by side, in the fucking DARK.

NoCherryNoDeal · 22/02/2021 22:01

Some people seem very ‘cold’ when under stress.

I was in the queue for self-check yesterday when a young woman asked me why I using a (small) trolley in self-check out. I responded quietly saying I don’t think it matters. She responded very passive aggressively saying ‘oh that’s strange, I kind of think it does’. I then looked at her, fake smiled and said quietly ‘What’s it to you?’. It shut her up.

To be honest she did stress me out because I wasn’t expecting to be challenged for something that is allowed (there is a sign saying baskets and small trollies allowed).

So whilst I appeared very cold and calm, I was actually doubting myself inside.

My point is that we don’t know how this driver was affected by what happened. Maybe she didn’t know how to react.

user1471538283 · 22/02/2021 22:02

That is really mean. But there does not seem to be any common decency around at all.

YowMyHead · 22/02/2021 22:03

@TheChip

If I was the driver, I'd of been raging too. A child easily could have followed the RC car. It could have been far worse than just the RC being flattened! It also could have damaged tyres, caused her to swerve or anything. The child shouldn't have been playing close enough to a road for that to happen.
Haven’t RTFT, but I agree with this

I’m a relatively new driver (1 year) and imagine that I might not know what I see in peripheral vision but see movement and think ‘animal’ so I’d swerve to avoid

Objects in road are dangerous and the adult supervising this child nearly caused an accident: I’d be upset too

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 22/02/2021 22:05

Wow,are you on glue? What an asinine question. Not clever,certainly not funny

Jackie2022 · 22/02/2021 22:06

I don’t think she purposely ran it over. It may have been unavoidable eg she couldn’t swerve out of the way, only slow down to a crawl but hit it anyway. The closer her car got to it, the less visible it was for her. If it made a loud noise, chances are she both heard and felt the impact too and she may have even felt scared - wondering wtf that was and if her car/tyre was damaged.

When she realised it was a toy, yes she got angry and took it out on your nephew with a bitchy comment. Maybe she felt like she had to lecture him that his actions were dangerous as from her perspective you weren’t doing anything about it and so you didn’t see an issue

bridgetreilly · 22/02/2021 22:14

I did work on the principle that she saw it and still quite deliberately ran it over while then just carrying on along regardless. That clearly wasn't true.

That is what she should have done. The highway code is really clear. You aren’t even supposed to swerve for animals, let alone toy cars. YWBVVVVU

funinthesun19 · 22/02/2021 22:15

Well judging by the poll and the fact that there are so many comments on this thread, I can guess there have been people falling over themselves to justify her behaviour.

Even if it was an accident, the nasty comment was unnecessary and rude, and actually it probably just confirms that it wasn’t an accident at all.

DonnaHaywood · 22/02/2021 22:17

@Ohnomoreno

More jealousy about the fact a stranger was driving a nice car and was therefore in the wrong because there was an obstacle in the road...admittedly she didn't have to be rude, but I'd be pretty shocked to run over, or even into, a remote-controlled car in the road. People are constantly "othering" anyone they perceive as rich.
Oh yes, the rich are constantly being othered. Spivak should have foregrounded that.

This thread is wild - although not least because the OP graciously admitted that she had rethought in the light of it. Credit to her.

VinylDetective · 22/02/2021 22:22

Jesus @typicalvalues, do us all a favour and get some anger management help. Half a mile? That’s fucking bonkers. I hope I never encounter you on the road.

Mrgrinch · 22/02/2021 22:25

I can't believe you're shocked that she drove over it. You do realise it's very dangerous to randomly swerve in the road don't you?

LAgeDeRaisin · 22/02/2021 22:27

If my daughter drove a toy into the path of an oncoming car she would be made to apologise and we would have a very serious discussion about how completely unacceptable it was and that she could have caused the driver to swerve and kill someone.

I've seen 12 year olds near my place of throwing sticks and cans off a dual carriageway footbridge at car windscreens and reported to police. It makes it very different to a 5 year old whose ball rolled into the street.

I think the lady was rude, but I can also imagine how upset and shaken she must have been. Sometimes people are rude when they are angry or have had a fright. In this situation I think it was understandable, despite being rude.

LAgeDeRaisin · 22/02/2021 22:29

*place of work

AlternativePerspective · 22/02/2021 22:29

?I read the OP and saw the comment “did you enjoy that?” As her asking whether he was enjoying playing with his car, not her being rude. Yes maybe the timing was off, But she had nothing to apologise for. In fact she didn’t even have to stop. It’s just a toy.

LAgeDeRaisin · 22/02/2021 22:32

Have just now seen the OP has rethought the situation. Sorry!

typicalvalues · 22/02/2021 22:37

@VinylDetective

Jesus *@typicalvalues*, do us all a favour and get some anger management help. Half a mile? That’s fucking bonkers. I hope I never encounter you on the road.
Can you not imagine the sheer shock of potentially having killed two people on the road? It was an absolute near miss - a fatal near miss. I was beeping the horn out of fury but also to warn the pair of idiots that they were not visible to traffic until about 50 yards away so that they'd move onto the grass verge before the next car encountered them. If you have a tail-light out on your car, police will rightly stop you as you're not as visible and might be assumed to be a motorbike with drivers overtaking. That pair should have been arrested. They could have cost me my life or I could have had to live with having killed two 'pedestrians'. I had every right to be furious.
typicalvalues · 22/02/2021 22:39

And beeping my horn for half a mile certainly does not require anger management. I nearly killed them and myself. It was a very mild reaction.