Would a little common decency have hurt?

[Weezapleeza]

My nephew lost control of his R/C car and it went into the road. A few seconds later a woman in a Discovery ran right over it but apparently without batting an eyelid. She didn't slow down or stop either before or after. It was like she'd just flattened it in passing. Then the acknowledgement came. A couple of minutes later she pulled up outside the drive, wound down her window, and asked him the most incredible question. "Did you enjoy that?" She was furious, and rude, and he was in tears. That seemed to give her an answer but all she did then was drive off again. No apology, nothing. AIBU to expect better?

He's 12! Fucking hell. He's at secondary school. He is more than old enough to learn that when he does something careless like that, it has consequences and people will react. He could have caused an accident. Being briefly shouted at by a rattled lady, as a result of his actions, is not something that a boy of 12 needs to be shielded from.

You are not doing him any favours by acting like he has been greatly wronged here. What sort of man do you want him to grow up to be?

It was unkind of her.
However, you are being unreasonable to expect her to be anything other than livid.

She probably had a massive fright.
Driving straight over small things in the road is really the only sensible thing to do, hard braking or swerving to avoid would be even more dangerous and could cause a serious accident.

The woman’s response probably gave him the shock he needed tbh, and taught him a lesson that could well save his life. Playing with balls, kites, remote control vehicles etc by roads is extremely dangerous.

Jeez @EarringsandLipstick, drop it. Even the OP has admitted she was in the wrong, you don’t need to fight someone else’s side when you weren’t even there and they’re telling you that, upon reflection, they understand the driver’s reaction.

All these posts about "a child" and "his toy", like we are talking about a toddler....

He is TWELVE.

I think that salient fact has got lost in this long thread!

@BobbidyBob

Jeez *@EarringsandLipstick*, drop it. Even the OP has admitted she was in the wrong, you don’t need to fight someone else’s side when you weren’t even there and they’re telling you that, upon reflection, they understand the driver’s reaction.

Hilarious Bobbidy

You seem unaware of how MN works 😊

Anyone can post their opinion - me, you ...

I've read OP's posts. I've also read some of the bile here tonight & I'm happy to continue to call it out. You're actually not in charge of who posts what.

Posters who repeatedly know that it was reasonable to make a child cry need to look at themselves.

@bourbonne

All these posts about "a child" and "his toy", like we are talking about a toddler....

He is TWELVE.

I think that salient fact has got lost in this long thread!

I don't think so? Is there a magic age where it's ok to be nasty to someone? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m very aware of how AIBU works thanks!

OP asks, majority say yes, she concedes they’re probably right, and the odd nutter takes it all to heart and posts repeatedly to the contrary! gasps Are you DN?

So good you’ve never reacted poorly while in shock, your medal must be in the post. Meanwhile, in the real world, most people have conceded that the shouting wasn’t ideal but probably explicable. Including, crucially, the person who was actually there!

I’m also wondering what you’d think if we knew for sure whether DN had actually done it on purpose? We don’t know, he’d probably never admit it now, but even OP has conceded it was a possibility.

@BobbidyBob

What a nasty post. Makes it easier to understand why you agree with the driver's behaviour.

Actually that's not how AIBU works. How any thread works is that posters give viewpoints. On any side. I've never read the 'rule' that requires certain posters to stop at a point in time.

Unlike you, my posts have been reasoned, far from 'nutter' style posts. I've empathised with the driver's position but stand by my point that assuming the boy did it deliberately, and being mean to him, is NOT ok.

A few others have made the same point, will you move on to attack them now?

Of course I don't always react well. But I am fairly certain I'd never jump to conclusions about someone, and be nasty. It isn't even the shouting (did she shout?). It's the fact that she said 'did you enjoy that'. Ffs, the boy's toy was just destroyed.

@BobbidyBob

I’m also wondering what you’d think if we knew for sure whether DN had actually done it on purpose? We don’t know, he’d probably never admit it now, but even OP has conceded it was a possibility.

If it was on purpose, I'd have a different view, only a bit though.

I'd absolutely agree that the driver would have been right to be annoyed. But I'd still argue there are ways of expressing that annoyance, to the adult, not the child.

"Did you enjoy that" is an odd thing to say.
I'd have said (sternly and angrily), "you need to be more careful and keep away from the roads" or words to that effect. But "did you enjoy that" is a bit childish / passive aggressive IMO.
That said, I don't think the lid should have been playing anywhere near the road in the first place obviously.

*kid obviously, not lid

Unbelievable thread, I can’t believe he’s 12 and was using this car next to a road. He could easily have caused a serious accident. No wonder she thought it was done on purpose. Any driver with an ounce of sense would have been furious.

He’s lucky she didn’t call non emergency police for their behaviour in endangering traffic. Which is an offence. And includes putting anything on the road which causes danger to a vehicle, trailer or cycle.

Which is exactly what they did, any reasonable person would know not to use a remote control car next to a road.

Sorry op, I get you’ve said you were wrong, but this ones a bad one. Fortunately no one got hurt , they could easily have done so.

I'm starting to think there's some socky action on this thread.

He did not lose control. He was in the wrong.

End of discussion.

I think we’re in the minority @EarringsandLipstick. I just don’t get people saying she was in shock. If running over a toy car has you in shock I’m not sure you should be driving. Also seeing a toy come into the road should actually cause you to stop or at least prepare to stop, as a toy is very often followed by a child. And even if it’s their fault for running out I’m sure no one is suggesting to just run children over.

Some sock action makes sense. There can't be this many of a certain low calibre of person, all congregated together surely.

I think so @Girlonit 😀

I agree with you, I think your points are very well-made.

What surprises me is that I'm not saying, oh, poor boy, awful driver etc

I get that the boy (and OP) should have been more careful. And OP agrees.

I also understand the driver got a shock, and may have been entitled to be angry.

I don't understand how she could be so nasty to the boy, who was crying, instead of voicing her concerns to the other adult.

But reading the vast majority of responses here, most people vehemently disagree & see no issue with being mean to ... well, anyone.

Do you drive Girlonit?

Put it down to experience. I understand why the woman acted the way she did she was probably shocked, it could have been a kid or a cat or something. You dont know her background she may have been in a very serious car accident in the past. I have sympathy for you too though you didnt expect this to happen, probably feel bad about it all and your nephew getting upset. The positive thing is you apologised and no harm was done. Live and learn seriously we all fuck up its life.

[quote EarringsandLipstick]@BobbidyBob

What a nasty post. Makes it easier to understand why you agree with the driver's behaviour.

Actually that's not how AIBU works. How any thread works is that posters give viewpoints. On any side. I've never read the 'rule' that requires certain posters to stop at a point in time.

Unlike you, my posts have been reasoned, far from 'nutter' style posts. I've empathised with the driver's position but stand by my point that assuming the boy did it deliberately, and being mean to him, is NOT ok.

A few others have made the same point, will you move on to attack them now?

Of course I don't always react well. But I am fairly certain I'd never jump to conclusions about someone, and be nasty. It isn't even the shouting (did she shout?). It's the fact that she said 'did you enjoy that'. Ffs, the boy's toy was just destroyed. [/quote]
“Reasoned” with about 17 eye rolling emojis and sarky comments like “I think you get the point? Let me labour it a bit though just in case” Not jumping to conclusions, but I’m apparently “nasty” and as bad as the person you’re criticising. Cool. Oh and all your comments judging all the people with an opposing view to yours. Don’t pretend you’re not dishing it out too

Interesting that you admit the driver’s reaction might be partly explained if DN has done this on purpose. I guess it doesn’t really matter whether he did, if she believed he did in the moment and that’s why she asked (because when I read the OP that was my first thought - not that she was asking whether he enjoyed the toy being destroyed but whether he’d enjoyed frightening her). It’s not just whether her behaviour was “right” or not, but some of it is to do with it being an understandable reaction, which is what the OP has admitted she now sees even if you can’t.

@Hepsie

Do you drive Girlonit?

Didn't you read Girlonit's posts?

@MarmedukeDuke

I'm starting to think there's some socky action on this thread.

Me too.

Poor kid
Not her fault for breaking his toy but nasty bitch for rubbing it in

Would she be able to see a toy car in a Range Rover? They’re huge and her seat would be higher off the ground, so I can imagine her missing something small like that. He shouldn’t be playing with his toy in the road like that, you can’t expect the general public to accommodate him