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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you could go back in time, would you spend more or less on your wedding?

181 replies

IDKNABYBIF22 · 21/02/2021 21:09

Starting to plan our wedding and torn between potentially regretting not spending more on it in the future, or spending too much on it 🙈.

YABU = more
YANBU = less

OP posts:
RoseMartha · 22/02/2021 00:27

I wouldn't have gotten married to who I did for starters. So would have saved all I spent.

Could it have been cheaper? probably not because we kept it on a fairly tight budget that was not extravagant by any means.

Cautionsharpblade · 22/02/2021 02:01

I’d spend more on photography. It’s not often you get so many friends and family together and I regret that I didn’t get more photos of them.

Bainne · 22/02/2021 02:06

@Juo

Could hardly spend less, we didn't have "a wedding " just got married. A big wedding seemed like a waste of money and I have never regretted it. I was older (33) and had worked with so many wedding bores I would have hated the whole process.
This. I think ours totalled at about £300 and most of that wasn’t the register fees, it was taking our witnesses out for lunch afterwards.
namechangetheworld · 22/02/2021 02:12

Our parents paid for everything but yes, I do regret how much was spent. The wedding itself wasn't too outlandish (country pub reception, semi-pro friend took photos for free, lots of homemade decorations, very small wedding party, super cheap honeymoon) but I would have been happier with a super cheap registry office affair because I hated all of the attention and spent most of it hiding in the loo. My dress was £2500 though and I still looked a mess which was a HUGE waste. I could have bought something from Monsoon for about £50 which would have been much nicer.

LunarCatAndDaffodils · 22/02/2021 02:19

I wanted to spend about £5-10k, DH wanted to spend £30-40k. We ended up spending about £23k.

I remember the budget in my head being £1k clothes, £1k food, £1k booze, £1k rings, £1k everything else like flowers, invites etc. and thinking that was generous and we’d have the capacity to go a bit over if we saw something we really liked.

Weddings are such a racket. If we were doing it again I’d be like “£2k max”- and maybe let myself get pushed to £2.5k.

TBF though if ai was doing it again I just wouldn’t marry him, so there is that.

M0rT · 22/02/2021 02:37

I would love to have spent more for the numbers, we couldn't afford to invite everyone we would have liked to.
I would have cut corners on other things if possible but my dress, flowers and photography were gifts as it was. We didn't have cars, seat covers, favours.
But I'm in Ireland so we needed an indoor venue, an outdoor party is more expensive here as you need marques and flooring, there is no way you could rely on weather.
It was a lovely day though and more people is all I would change.
I wouldn't have bothered with seat covers, favours etc anyway I don't think. I'm not creative so would just have found it stressful.
Best of luck with your wedding Flowers

bumblingbovine49 · 22/02/2021 02:53

Less on my first, more on my second

C0RAL · 22/02/2021 02:57

@MotherForker

Well, if I could go back I'd not marry him 😂. But yeah less.
This.
SEE123 · 22/02/2021 03:00

Yanbu less, much less!

MyDisposableUsername · 22/02/2021 03:06

A tiny bit less. We wouldn't have invited MIL and BIL. That would have saved the cost of a couple of meals and a hell of a lot of stress when they tried to ruin the whole day... Angry

MyDisposableUsername · 22/02/2021 03:22

Meant to say that DH is of the same opinion. It's not just me being harsh. Basically, I was the wrong religion and the two of them were only attending to find something to kick off about...

But the rest of the wedding was perfect. Nothing overly extravagant, but not stingy either, and everyone (other than MIL & BIL) had a great time.

mumofone2019 · 22/02/2021 03:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Graciebobcat · 22/02/2021 03:42

Exactly the same.

PutItInNeutral · 22/02/2021 03:49

We got married at the Court House, $40, and had a family dinner with about 25 people for about $750.

We have have 3 kids, and wish I’d bought a new dress, as my daughter was disappointed in the photos.

I’m happy about everything else though, we had just bought a new home, and I got pregnant right after the wedding, so we needed the money for more important things.

camelfinger · 22/02/2021 03:56

I would spend less if I was to get married now, but have a smaller family and fewer friends so could afford to make the money go further. 10-15 years ago we were invited to a lot of big weddings so it seemed the done thing to reciprocate.
We saved on quite a few areas and didn’t bother with a lot of things mentioned but the costs still seemed to add up. It was my hobby for about 10 months though, researching and planning, so didn’t mind spending money in that respect.
Given all the CF wedding threads on here, I think people do expect a decent party if they have travelled from afar. I’d like to be able to relax and provide our friends and family with a good meal and drinks so wouldn’t want to scrimp on that.

CatCup · 22/02/2021 04:34

Best day of my life, around 16k. Wouldn't have changed anything but perhaps a cheaper dress if I had more time to look for one (just under 2k, was beautiful but probably could have spent half that).

MyOtherProfile · 22/02/2021 04:36

Another one who would do it all the same. We spent way below average at the time and had a brilliant day with all our friends and family.

MyOtherProfile · 22/02/2021 04:37

PS we spent 8k nearly 20 years ago.

Peridotty · 22/02/2021 04:40

I spent £1600 on my wedding dress which was a bit ridiculous! I would spend more on the entertainment (hire a better DJ, get a magician, get a band). I would probably spend about the same but more on the entertainment than my dress.

Chunkymenrock · 22/02/2021 04:53

Much less, in fact zero as I wouldn't have done it at all.

Insert1x20p · 22/02/2021 04:58

A bit more, because although it was a great day in the end, my choice of venue was a blank canvas, which meant the organisation/ coordination between all the different suppliers was a tonne of work and I didn't really have time for it - therefore in hindsight I should have had a proper wedding planner rather than just an "on the day" coordinator.

noonieroonie · 22/02/2021 05:07

We spent a lot on the wedding and the honeymoon but we've both discussed it and wouldn't change a thing! We hired a country house for 3 days and had about 50 guests stay for a full weekend (plus extra guests on the actual day). I wish we could go back and do it all again!

Caramelwhispers · 22/02/2021 05:34

I'd have spent less, scaled it all back and got on the property ladder sooner.

readingismycardio · 22/02/2021 06:01

Exactly the same. some would say we spent a lot, but it was beautiful and worth every penny. We had 83 people guests, absolutely beautiful venue, beautiful flowers, and we had so much fun with the people we love and cherish!

PurpleFlower1983 · 22/02/2021 06:11

I wouldn’t change anything. Ours was quite expensive but the money went on the venue, food and drink mainly so our guests had a great time. My dress was a sample so a quarter of the price. Photographer was expensive but worth every penny.

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