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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you could go back in time, would you spend more or less on your wedding?

181 replies

IDKNABYBIF22 · 21/02/2021 21:09

Starting to plan our wedding and torn between potentially regretting not spending more on it in the future, or spending too much on it 🙈.

YABU = more
YANBU = less

OP posts:
shuuush · 21/02/2021 21:55

Yanbu

KihoBebiluPute · 21/02/2021 21:55

I'd do it pretty much exactly the same. We spent £3000 but that's probably about £5000 in today's money.

120 guests. Simple off-the-peg outfits. Homemade printing of invites, programmes etc, home made venue decorations & cake. Cheap venue. Simple buffet food rather than sit down meal. Plentiful beer and wine. Amateur entertainment/music who were happy to do it for beer rather than cash. We were lucky with a photographer as we got put in touch with a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend who wanted to be a wedding photographer and wanted to do a few weddings at cost-of-photography-development-materials price in order to build up a portfolio for marketing so that was cheap.

One thing I would do differently would be to spend more on thank you gifts for the lovely people who helped make it such a special day (maybe adding another £200-£300 to the budget) and we would have written the thank you letters earlier. But generally no regrets about being low-budget. All the best weddings of friends I have been to have been low budget, some way lower budget than ours!

Sausagessizzling · 21/02/2021 22:00

We spent a fortune and I'd do it all again.
Absolutely brilliant day. Best day of my life.
I think what made it for us was:

  • had everyone we wanted there for the whole day
  • gorgeous venue with lots of spaces/gardens for people to explore
  • everyone fed and watered throughout (not with water)
  • ceilidh at sunset
  • putting a lot of thought into playlist so dance floor was packed all night
Tempusfudgeit · 21/02/2021 22:06

Spent around £600 and it was perfect. Wouldn't change anything.

Blimeyoreilly2020 · 21/02/2021 22:08

Less!! If I could do it again I’d elope... and then a small family party and a small shindig with friends in the pub...could’ve put the cash to much better use!!

NeedToGetOuttaHere · 21/02/2021 22:11

The same or a little bit more, I’d like to have been able to provide more alcohol but we couldn’t afford it.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 21/02/2021 22:12

The same. We didn’t spend a lot compared to many as it made far more sense to save for a house deposit rather than what is essentially a party. Don’t regret anything. A marriage is about the vows and lifetime commitment, not the whole big day.

MustStopSnacking28 · 21/02/2021 22:15

I would do nearly everything the exact same (venue, dress, food etc) but spend more on a much better photographer (family friend who did an ok but not great job) and a videographer. I didn’t think I would care about a video but I do wish I could watch it now, especially as my dad recently passed away and I would like to watch his speech again.

purplebatbear · 21/02/2021 22:18

I'd have much less spent on my wedding. It was a beautiful wedding but was far far too expensive. I wanted a small one but my DF turned it into a huge show-off event for his friends and our family.

rosiejaune · 21/02/2021 22:20

I couldn't have spent less, as it was at the registry office, I wore normal clothes, and we walked there. Well, I suppose I could have not bought a ring, but that only cost a couple of hundred pounds.

I mean, if I got civil partnered in future (wouldn't marry again), I would probably spend more and have some people other than the two witnesses there, but it would still be very basic (like some simple decorations, and friends playing music and everyone bringing a dish of food to share, instead of a present).

Marinaloves · 21/02/2021 22:21

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Peccary · 21/02/2021 22:26

About the same (8k) but with some changes, less buffet but more photography for example

TwirpingBird · 21/02/2021 22:28

I got married in italy, 11 guests, on the rooftop of a 13th century fortress at sunset. I hired a wedding planner. I didnt know what I was eating for my dinner til 1PM that day. Had no input into decor other than saying 'make it pretty'. She sorted the legal stuff for me. I got a dress, rings, a photographer and picked some flowers. That's it. Best day of my life, not a moment of stress. No debt or borrowing. Paid it as we went along. Bought a house with our savings 6 months later.

InconvenientPeg · 21/02/2021 22:29

I would have spent an extra £1000 to get photos I can actually bear to look at. Our photographer was awful and I hate the photos. I thought it was a reasonable compromise at the time, but have regretted it ever since!

It was 20 years ago and we spent £10k, which we could afford at the time and people still occasionally say it was one of their favourite weddings. We had a great time and it was worth every penny.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 21/02/2021 22:32

More or less the same. We had a super small wedding ~35 guests, but had a proper cocktail hour and a nice sit down meal. All of this was in a beautiful Art Deco hotel and we had the full ballroom (not the bland ones at most US hotels. We spent US$5k.

I was surprised how nice our flowers were and how reasonably priced. About $300 for 3 bouquets, 2 mothers bouquets, 8 boutonnieres, and a coursage honestly I didn’t care too much about them when I was talking to the florist, gave him the list of what we needed and told him he was a professional and I trusted him to figure it out. He did a beautiful job with in season flowers that were really unique.

If you’re not fussed on the type of flowers I’d recommend this method.

Beforethetakingoftoastandt3a · 21/02/2021 22:32

I wouldnt have changed how much we spent. We could afford it no problem at the time and had already bought a house.

But i would have spent it differently. I wouldnt have wasted money on things that dont matter and would have spent it on different things. I had a jazz band in the evening. I would have also had things going on to entertain during the afternoon.

LibrariesGiveUsPower45321 · 21/02/2021 22:54

I’d spend £200 more to have the photographer stay to capture the first dance and wouldn’t change a thing else.

FlyingPandas · 21/02/2021 22:57

@Sausagessizzling

We spent a fortune and I'd do it all again. Absolutely brilliant day. Best day of my life. I think what made it for us was:
  • had everyone we wanted there for the whole day
  • gorgeous venue with lots of spaces/gardens for people to explore
  • everyone fed and watered throughout (not with water)
  • ceilidh at sunset
  • putting a lot of thought into playlist so dance floor was packed all night
All this but minus the ceilidh Grin

Loved every second of our wedding and nearly 20 years on there is not one thing we'd do differently. Remembering our day always makes me smile.

milienhaus · 21/02/2021 23:02

I would have spent a few extra £100s and invited a few more friends who I regret not having there. However, we have a lot more money now than we did when we got married so easy to say with hindsight, it felt like we were spending a lot (which we were obviously) at the time!

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 21/02/2021 23:03

Wouldn't change a thing so I can't vote.

thepeopleversuswork · 21/02/2021 23:21

If I had my time again I wouldn't have got married in the first place TBH. But as a general principle with weddings I would say less is more anyway. No one ever regretted not blowing more money on matching bridesmaids dresses....

VestaTilley · 21/02/2021 23:46

I’d have spent more on my dress. My dress was very nice and looked more £££ than it was (£112!) but I wish I’d been married in a beautiful gown, fitted for me in beautiful silk or satin.

I wouldn’t have spend over £1500 or anything mad, but I wish I’d had a nicer dress. Everything else was sensible; a large wedding but not money on ludicrous things like gimmicks or floral arrangements nobody cares about.

GardenGnomeParty · 21/02/2021 23:53

I had a job at a wedding venue. Because of the huge amount of 'extra touches' at other people's weddings I'd had to throw in the bin, ours was a pretty lean affair.

Most people, especially if you've served dessert don't eat wedding cake, no matter what they say. Forget favours, kids activities, weird sweet shop things, expensive chair covers, probably photo booths - big outlay to get only two decent pictures from.

Think about what is really key to you - sing in a choir, you need to include that. Viking re-enactor, bring your axes for an arch. Keen cyclist - arrive and leave by bike.

Wobbitcatcher · 22/02/2021 00:10

Ours was low key in the real world but probably really extravagant on mumsnet as we spent about 12k
We weren’t living in our preferred area when we planned it so saving for a Mortgage wasn’t on our minds.
We had a budget but lovely and suited us venue (a pub with wedding license and gorgeous views)
My dress was designer but ridiculously reduced.
But we did splash out on the photos and the band and I’m so glad we did for both of those

SkiingIsHeaven · 22/02/2021 00:13

I would have kept everything the same except I wouldn't have been persuaded to let Psycho Sarah come to the night do.