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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To reduce grandparents contact?

99 replies

Hard2Find · 21/02/2021 10:32

Our dd (7 months old) adores her grandparents on my side. She gets so excited when she sees them and typically sees them on a regular basis. I recently found out that they are considering moving across the world soon for a job opportunity. We would be lucky to see them in person once a year if they do move. Would IBU to start reducing contact now? I don't want dd to continue to grow her attachment for them to just disappear.

OP posts:
Aprilx · 21/02/2021 10:33

Yes of course you would be unreasonable.

MarthasGinYard · 21/02/2021 10:33

She's 7 months old

Stop being ridiculous

ApolloandDaphne · 21/02/2021 10:35

No, absolutely not. Surely you want them to see each other as much as possible before they go? Once they are gone you can use a photo book and do zoom calls to keep the relationship going. You can talk about her grandparents and make sure she remembers who they are.

ApolloandDaphne · 21/02/2021 10:36

I mean you are absolutely not right to stop any contact soon.

NewScone · 21/02/2021 10:38

I wouldn't. Seems a bit mean to both. How regular is regular?

user18467425798532 · 21/02/2021 10:38

Wtf? That's ridiculous.

Brieminewine · 21/02/2021 10:39

Sounds like you want to punish them for considering moving away.

TierFourTears · 21/02/2021 10:40

Build up the relationship now. From a strong foundation relationships have a chance. From a weak foundation, cracks start showing.

FuckyouBrennan · 21/02/2021 10:40

How old are you? This is stupid

NewScone · 21/02/2021 10:40

They haven't even said they are moving yet

Dimpley · 21/02/2021 10:41

Are you losing some support with this move?

bonfireheart · 21/02/2021 10:42

"Adores her grandparents on my side"...you mean your parents?
Anyway, yes YABVU.

PotteringAlong · 21/02/2021 10:42

What if they don’t move? Also, why would you want to lessen the bond? There are children all around the country who haven’t seen their grandparents for a year this year and they’re all still maintaining relationships.

VinylDetective · 21/02/2021 10:43

Sometimes I wonder what on earth goes on in some people’s heads.

Suzi888 · 21/02/2021 10:44

No I wouldn’t reduce it, I’d increase it. Hmm Build a strong relationship now.

Atalune · 21/02/2021 10:45

Bonkers. Totally crazy town thoughts.

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 21/02/2021 10:57

WTF

TheyIsMyFamily · 21/02/2021 10:57

What the hell is wrong with you!

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 21/02/2021 10:59

Wow. Poor kid.

roxyk0303 · 21/02/2021 11:01

Absolutely do not reduce contact. My brother and sister in law emigrated 3 years ago now and there are so so many ways to keep contact going. We actually have a closer relationship with them now than we did when they lived in the next town.

It's absolutely possible

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 21/02/2021 11:02

Its like saying 'Hey your grandparents will die eventually so we'll cut contact now so you're not so bothered" Confused

judgingcat · 21/02/2021 11:02

A child is not a weapon. Of course YABU.

bonfireheart · 21/02/2021 11:07

My grandparents lived abroad, we saw them rarely but the little we did still sticks with me now at the age of 41.

JemimaTiggywinkle · 21/02/2021 11:07

I would be upset if my parents were considering moving across the world when I’d just had my first child and I needed their support/wanted them to want to be around.

If this is what you mean, just say it...

LastRoloIsMine · 21/02/2021 11:08

You must realise YABU?

Is it possible that you are angry with your parents/feel abandoned by them so want to punish them and are using DD as an excuse?