To be surprised how many parents can't afford children's footwear?

[moita]

I must have been living under a rock but: I recently started volunteering for a charity that donates coats to children who need one.

I live in a village just outside a deprived city and we have lots of requests for coats from struggling parents.

It was eye-opening. We then started having the same request: for footwear, most specifically wellies. We put out social media messages for used but good condition wellies. Lots of people donated and they were all pretty much snapped up.

I've got to say: I was surprised, naively so? I felt guilty buying my toddler wellies from the supermarket but here were parents happy to take used ones away. And a lot of the people who came to use are single mums who have fallen on hard times.

I don't know. I just feel so sad that our service is so needed.

23MissMarpleDarling

I can afford them but if free wellies were advertised to single mums I'd go take a pair. Why not if your advertising.

Oh absolutely but a lot of the people coming to us literally don't have wellies for their kids because they can't spare the money.

@FoxyTheFox

I've written to my MP to request that he asks the education secretary to include a temporary relaxation of uniform rules in the re-opening guidance that will be issued to schools.

Not holding my breath that he actually will but worth a try if anyone else feels like writing to their own MP?

Good idea, but be bette writing to the HT and governors as they set the uniform policy.

The school mine go to have had a relaxed uniform policy since the summer. The Head advised people to buy black/navy joggers or trousers, white/black/navy polo shirt or t-shirt and a black or navy jumper or hoodie rather than uniform as it was unknown how much time would be in school. She set that from summer to Christmas. Then before Christmas said it would continue until summer. Two other heads followed suit after parents put pressure on them saying “X school has done this”. The one school that insisted on full uniform (inc for online lessons) has a lot of very unhappy parents as it showed a clear sign of of little they listened.

moita I didn't even know Clarks sold wellies to be honest. Who 'drummed it into you' that idea?
I used to work for Woolworths and I would say 90% of the towns population got their kids wellies from there. With Woolworths gone it's supermarkets or Shoe Zone. That's like.... normal. I still don't understand the 'guilt'.

I pass all my children’s outgrown shoes, wellies , slippers etc onto to friends’ children and nieces and nephews. There are a few pair of wellies that have been worn by about 5/6 children and are still circulating.
I’d recommend buying Dunlop wellies for your children as they last for years and because they’re green / black they are gender neutral.

When I was little it was quite an event to get new shoes . We had one pair of shoes which we wore everywhere , the girls got sandals for the summer. I never owned a pair of trainers until I went to ‘big’ school. We had wellies because we lived on a farm but these were Dunlops and passed down through us all. One would think that 40 years later, some things would have improved.
Primary schools should really just allow children to wear a pair of trainers to school . They spend all their time outside running around.

I'm waiting for the 8th March headline "child sent home from school for wearing non regulation shoes". It really wouldn't surprise me even though the shops are shut!

At a comp local to our old house, dc were often sent home for wearing non regulation shoes; whilst the head failed to listen to complaints about behaviour pertaining to: assault, pyromania, theft, foul language and constant disruption. Then a girl was sensually assaulted on the premises and there were several high profile expulsions. And teachers tell children off for not listening...........

It does sometimes feel as though those in charge of schools have slightly skewed priorities.

Your surprised that people are poor ? Where have you been !

I suspect alot of your families are struggling with the closure of charity shops. Our big one is everything for £3 pretty much so you could get coat and wellies for two for just over a tenner. Super market prices would maybe get you one pair of wellies.

Shoes really add up, they need school shoes, PE shoes and home shoes, we used to struggle with this. I often managed to get wellies in charity shops, and coats occasionally. When they’re young sometimes they grow out of them in a few months!

@Skyla2005

Your surprised that people are poor ? Where have you been !

Tbf to op, there's understanding that money can be tight and then understanding what that actually means. So many posts of places like here about families living the high life on benefits, saying everyone could afford everything if they just tried harder, it's easy to get a squewed perspective. O mean someone didn't understand not everyone has a walk in wardrobe the other day...

I have done myself whilst at uni and on working tax credits but I’ve never had to put used shoes on my child! I think it’s all about priorities.

Our household income is over 6 figures, I don’t think I’ve ever bought new wellies for my DC - they have a mix of hand me downs and charity shops boots. Obviously we can afford it, we just don’t prioritise it. Does that make me a bad parent? Is a single mum on UC who picks up free boots from a children’s centre and uses the saving to treat their kids to a happy meal a bad parent? Or more likely is prioritising paying the rent and bills.

Children’s shoes are particularly tough on the budget if you’re on a low income as they’re an unpredictable expense - it’s Sod’s law they’ll have a growth spurt when you can least afford it. If you have a child with unusual feet that means you can’t rely on supermarkets and primary it’s particularly tough.

Good ol' working tax credits that didn't take your student finance as income. Long gone, it's UC now. Get with the programme, times have changed. 6m are on UC now. 8m are furloughed. But you're surprised people are poor?

Are you aware of how many foodbanks the UK has?
If there are families who can't afford food then it doesn't seem outrageous that they would struggle with clothes and food.

@kowari

It drives me mad, we have to buy them school shoes and plimsolls and trainers. Why on earth they need 3 pairs of shoes for school I don't understand? Even if they allowed black leather trainer style school shoes or plain black trainers then these could be worn as school shoes, trainers, and out of school. Our secondary insists on proper office shoes though.

I think we were very lucky with DS's
Schools as this is exactly what he had, even in secondary school plain black trainers were fine as long as there was no obvious logo or stripes .

We were also lucky with uniform , in primary school the embroidered sweatshirt was optional so uniform could all be got in Asda and in secondary there was just the tie abs the embroidered jumper (which would last 2 years if you were lucky). No blazer and supermarket shirt/trousers were fine.

Is the thing about leaving one set of shoes/wellies/clothes something around Covid so things don't come in and out of school , or is that general nowadays ? (DS left school 4 years ago for context )

Children’s shoes are particularly tough on the budget if you’re on a low income as they’re an unpredictable expense
Sorry but how can it be unpredictable? You might not know when the child will have a spur growth but you know it will happen in the year.

Nothing wrong with getting hand be down wellies from a charity, however it is wrong to budget with that expectation in mind.

Lockdown is ridiculously hard for me and I'm not coping financially at all. I have three dcs and tried to buy wellies for them last week and it was over £50 I jist can't stretch that at all so we had to just go out in canvas trainers in snow which wasn't as fun

Last August I donated 4 outgrown coats, a school, bag, 4 pairs of school black trousers, 5 white tops with logos and 5 navy sweatshirts with school logo to a church group trying to kit out kids going back to school in September. I offered 2 pairs of school shoes and two pairs of trainers but was told they were not taking shoes. I thought at the time I bet some family would be glad of them as not worn much. I ended up putting them in Salvation Army collection point.

I have always bought my kids shoes from cheap shops , never had clarks etc as too expensive.
I have put kids shoes on free round here and had no takers.
Always think schools should have a box for coats and shoes etc for donations as they know who would benefit , and mine have often had decent coats they have outgrown .
I tend to give them away to someone or put them on facebook for free if decent.

Mind you when mine were in primary and rule was no trainers some used to send them in claiming couldn't afford school shoes but kids were in £60 trainers

As a Mum and a teacher I can believe this, I don’t know if it’s an English thing but in Scotland specific school uniform from certain shops isn’t the norm. Most pieces of uniform can be bought quite cheaply from Asda, Tesco etc. In primary not many children have blazers as you don’t get much wear out of them due to the weather. Secondary schools do insist on blazers which I’ve always disagreed with. Yes they look nice but October to March they are rubbish protection against the weather and there’s no lockers to hang outdoor jackets so young people would have to carry bulky waterproof jackets around all day and what teenager wants to do that so you see teenagers with blazers getting soaked in torrential rain.

Anyway I digress, I’ve had children come to school in one pair of heeled boots all year, no gym shoes, no change nothing. Totally impractical for school. I just went and bought a pair of gum shoes from Asda for year (said I found them) they were £3/4. I’m not alone in doing that. Another boy said his Mum wouldn’t buy him gym shoes yet he had a designer tracksuit so sometimes it can be priorities. I’ve seen children come back from holidays abroad and come to school with shoes with holes in them with their toes sticking out. Teachers are feeding children they are also clothing children.

We have a “buy nothing” and “clothing bank” local
Fb groups and any kids shoes and clothes advertised are promptly collected. Kids shoe prices are eye wateringly expensive. They should really be half of adults shoes but they are not. Bet most Clarks profits are from kids lines.

@Kokapetl

My Grandad said that he couldn't go to school everyday because he and his brothers didn't each have a pair of shoes. I thought he was joking but the family was poor with several boys close in age.

Mine too. He was the eldest of 8, the youngest born when he was 12. My great grandmother took in washing and ironing to make ends meet.

dontdisturbmenow

Thing is when money is proper tight you can't budget for shoes expense, because there is no money, everything is accounted for. When you need to buy shoes for the DC money has to be found, eg smaller food shop or delaying a direct debit ect... So if you have a month of other extrea expenses going out there is no wriggle room.

It is unfortunately very common, like I said DH and I were both working, (DH middle management at time) but with childcare and everything else we still struggled and that was well over 10 years ago, cost of living has gone up dramatically since then, plus chuck covid into the mix. People just do not have the money in the pot to budget for shoes. it's that simple.

@dontdisturbmenow

Children’s shoes are particularly tough on the budget if you’re on a low income as they’re an unpredictable expense Sorry but how can it be unpredictable? You might not know when the child will have a spur growth but you know it will happen in the year.

Nothing wrong with getting hand be down wellies from a charity, however it is wrong to budget with that expectation in mind.

Can you predict exactly how many new pairs of shoes your DC will need and exactly what month they will need them?

In reception year my DS got through three pairs of school shoes (trashed one by using it as a brake when scooting, bought replacement in same size, then he had a growth spurt). The following year he wore the same shoes through the entire year. That’s £80-£100 difference in budget for school shoes alone (DS has very wide feet so buying cheap in the supermarket isn’t an option). £80-£100 is no biggie for us, but I’m under no illusion that for many households that’s significant.

Add in all the other unpredictables that make a difference when you’re on an incredibly tight budget (fridge breaks down, car insurance renewal higher than you expected, DC invited to a birthday party and you need to buy a present, hospital parking for a trip to A&E, it goes on...) and it’s hardly surprising people don’t have money waiting in the bank when new shoes are needed.

I've always worked in social work or related roles so not surprised at all, no. It bothers me a lot when in spaces like this forum so many people insist there is no real hardship in the UK. There is. There really is. Poverty is exhausting, hard to escape, and expensive.

Things are particularly bad atm. Most supermarkets are doing a lot less value/ basic brands and special offers. When you're budgeted tightly, a £5 rise in your weekly grocery spend is a big deal. Charity shops are closed. I've only been into a Primark once in the last year and they didn't have the usual rail after rail of massively discounted items. And on and on and on.

State schools should not be permitted to have strict uniform policies. They are barriers to participation. Dress codes are fine, strict uniforms are ridiculous. Schools need to be less image focussed and remember the role of state education. If I had the power, no state school would be permitted to insist on a strict uniform as opposed to a sensible dress code they could evidence could be easily adhered to by families in the lowest income decile.