To be surprised how many parents can't afford children's footwear?

[moita]

I must have been living under a rock but: I recently started volunteering for a charity that donates coats to children who need one.

I live in a village just outside a deprived city and we have lots of requests for coats from struggling parents.

It was eye-opening. We then started having the same request: for footwear, most specifically wellies. We put out social media messages for used but good condition wellies. Lots of people donated and they were all pretty much snapped up.

I've got to say: I was surprised, naively so? I felt guilty buying my toddler wellies from the supermarket but here were parents happy to take used ones away. And a lot of the people who came to use are single mums who have fallen on hard times.

I don't know. I just feel so sad that our service is so needed.

If you are in or close to the Lothians, www.kidsloveclothes.co.uk/ are always looking for donations.

Schools won't let your children in without them, I mean.

If you are in or near Kirklees, Uniform Exchange collects and redistributes coats, shoes, trainers, football boots and so on, as well as school uniform.

I saw a thread on FB yesterday, a mother asking for opinions on buying £2 plimsolls to use as everyday school shoes. It's all she could afford. It shouldn't be happening. It's Dickensian bullshit that belongs in the last century.

@blissfulllife

Those asking what charity...look up your local women's refuge, they are always massively grateful for kids clothes

Are you sure that a women's refuge is something you can just look up? Surely addresses are confidential . Or do you mean to just contact women's aid?

Definitely not surprised.
There is a voucher scheme at our school for £30 for clarks/shoe zone for every term for any child on free school meals.
It's not ran by the school but the small village charity.

blissfulllife

I've donated to a refuge before. There is usually a telephone no. I've rung then they arrange for someone to collect from your house! I donated a pushchair, cot, lots of bedding and baby clothes before. I gave them some god quality women clothing too

One in three children in the UK live in poverty. One in two in many areas, considering we have a low birth rate that is staggering. The cost of living in this country is a joke, and dodgy employment laws mean too many people are screwed over too easily. I literally have three jobs and can barely even support myself let alone another life. Factor in the pandemic and how that's impacted people's earnings and yeah I'm not surprised at all people can't clothe their kids.

My strict all girls school in the 70s insisted we had indoor shoes on arrival at school - soft suede laceups with crepe soles to keep noise in corridors down. They didn't care what we wore en-route and most of us wore them all the time, I don't recall them being expensive but they were very hard-wearing and then desert boots took over.

Seems blissful looking back.

Children grow at different rates - so my DC either need replacement shoes in the same size having destroyed them through lots of wear (over six months, checked in shop 3 times) or blow through a size in 6 weeks...

Wellies go the same way, either get passed down through both children with no signs of wear...

Depending on children's sex and build hand me downs don't work for that long. My 2 (5 and 2) will be basically the same size very soon - I handed down a coat that would have still fit DC1 because she had a new one we bought in the sales waiting. Her usual school coat is age 3-4 and passed on from her 9 month younger cousin (who is a bigger build all around).

We tend to use hand me downs from family for environmental reasons, but I lack the patience for eBay and charity shops (because I hate shopping in general). I do pass on wearable stuff what little there is - both DC are very active and very hard on clothes mostly dresses and smarter clothes.

YABU

You must have been living under a rock or maybe just a little tone deaf to the reality of poverty in the UK. The stats show it's been rising for the last 10 years. The pandemic has just accelerated the rate at which it's happening.

Kids shoes are expensive. I've seen a difference in price rise in Clarks shoes from when my eldest was younger and now. The costs have risen with inflation but earnings aren't in line with the rise, factor in everything else that's risen, housing costs, utilities, ctax, childcare, oh and food and you can see how easily it is to find yourself in a position of not being able to afford wellies for your kids.

Add in a 0 hour contract, and the poverty trap is well and truly sealed.

My Grandad said that he couldn't go to school everyday because he and his brothers didn't each have a pair of shoes. I thought he was joking but the family was poor with several boys close in age.

YABU

You must have been living under a rock or maybe just a little tone deaf to the reality of poverty in the UK. The stats show it's been rising for the last 10 years. The pandemic has just accelerated the rate at which it's happening.

Kids shoes are expensive. I've seen a difference in price rise in Clarks shoes from when my eldest was younger and now. The costs have risen with inflation but earnings aren't in line with the rise, factor in everything else that's risen, housing costs, utilities, ctax, childcare, oh and food and you can see how easily it is to find yourself in a position of not being able to afford wellies for your kids.

Add in a 0 hour contract, and the poverty trap is well and truly sealed.

I've written to my MP to request that he asks the education secretary to include a temporary relaxation of uniform rules in the re-opening guidance that will be issued to schools.

Not holding my breath that he actually will but worth a try if anyone else feels like writing to their own MP?

Charity shops being closed also makes it harder. Other second hand stuff like eBay works out more expensive with postage costs.

@Plutoh

I'm just amazed that some families replace plimsolls, slippers, wellies for 4 children at a time - aren't they things that are handed down?

I feel like the quality of clothes etc was better back in the day, even the cheaper brands. I had older brothers and (unfortunately) the clothes were always still in good condition when I was the right size for them, the only stuff I got 'new' was from the charity shop, and all was still mostly okay to be donated afterward. It was absolutely the done thing then, but I did grow up in a community which was very poor, as were we, so might not have been the case everywhere. I genuinely think some of the jumpers and shoes will survive the apocalypse and be left with the Nokia's and cockroaches! Now though a lot of clothes, aside from the expensive ones which aren't always affordable are fine for one child, at a push 2, maybe, but won't last longer than that. Plus I do think there's more pressure with social media etc, I would be absolutely trashed as a child now wearing boys clothes all of the time, but wasn't such an issue then it seemed.

Again, just my experience. Coupled with the fact though that uniforms are often embroidered, and you need so many pieces adds to the issue.

One of the unexpectedly depressing things about volunteering at the kids clothes charity was seeing how many clothes just don’t last well enough to be handed on anymore.

I've just passed on a load of coats, clothes, shoes and wellies in toddler sizes on my local Facebook page...they were snapped up in minutes!

Where I live there are no supermarkets within easy reach unless you drive, a lot of mums don't! Town is easily within reach but we don't have a supermarket in the town!

My son grew out of his Clarks last lockdown so I bought his next pair from Aldi...he's due a new pair now (school shoes!) but struggling to find any plus he needs his feet measured! So I'll buy him a supermarket pair in the next size up as I am not buying an expensive paid online that he can't try on (and without having his feet measured!).

As it happens I save my child benefit for coats /shoes/uniform however when my husbands wages were cut with covid but we were still paying childcare fees to keep the place we had to dip into them! Luckily only 2 months until we get the 30 hours!

Fwiw I'm on a fairly decent salary, DH not on much more than minimum wage but with nursery fees being astronomical (luckily now just one!!) we hardly live the high life!

I can afford them but if free wellies were advertised to single mums I'd go take a pair. Why not if your advertising.

Schools now require multiple pairs though. School shoes, football boots and indoor trainers at our secondary

Back in the stone age, when I was at secondary school, we had to have outdoor shoes (lace up), indoor shoes (not lace up), black plimsolls for netball and something else, white plimsolls for gym and tennis, and hockey boots.

My parents were skint back then and my mother was mightily relieved when I stopped growing at 11-12 and she never had that outlay again.

Wow - slightly off topic but I'm gobsmacked at the amount of shoes children need nowadays especially for school.

I HE my children and now they HE my Grandchildren so its my school days 50 years i can remember and we had one pair of shoes and plimsoles for PE were optional . If you lived in the country you had wellies which were always handed down - no school would have dreamt of asking for special shoes or even shoes of a particular colour.

I'm not sure the issue is the price of shoes but the unrealistic demands for specific shoes for specific activities.

@FoxyTheFox

I've written to my MP to request that he asks the education secretary to include a temporary relaxation of uniform rules in the re-opening guidance that will be issued to schools.

Not holding my breath that he actually will but worth a try if anyone else feels like writing to their own MP?

That's an excellent idea!

I'll email my MP now, but I think uniform might well be a matter delegated to school governing bodies/HTs.

I have just had to kit out my two dd age 5 and 6 for going back to school Monday the uniform I bought just before Christmas is far too small ,coats and shoes included so I gave them away on Facebook they were taken within 5 minutes.

I also had to buy my toddler ds new shoes he's been walking since 9 months and went from a size 4 to a 9 and he's not even two yet! It's very expensive to keep replacing everything . I was £450 that was for the uniform,kickers shoes x2 ,wellies ,gym trainers and a new coat eac, sometimes you buy cheap you buy twice hoping I can make this last longer.

Will most likely need to replace again after Easter holidays and I am certainly not well off but il go without to make sure they have the essentials

Why did you feel guilty buying wellies from a supermarket? I don't understand that.

I had it drummed into my head that it was Clark's or nothing which I realise is silly.

@Basecamp65

Wow - slightly off topic but I'm gobsmacked at the amount of shoes children need nowadays especially for school.

I HE my children and now they HE my Grandchildren so its my school days 50 years i can remember and we had one pair of shoes and plimsoles for PE were optional . If you lived in the country you had wellies which were always handed down - no school would have dreamt of asking for special shoes or even shoes of a particular colour.

I'm not sure the issue is the price of shoes but the unrealistic demands for specific shoes for specific activities.

School uniform demands are often ridiculous imo. The obsession with having school logos embroidered on everything, so that parents all have to buy inferior quality, overpriced shite from the approved supplier, is absurd.

You could completely kit out a child on stuff from Asda for the price of just a jumper for one of the local primaries.

One of the reasons my DIL chose the primary school she did was because they don't have a uniform.

I'll email my MP now, but I think uniform might well be a matter delegated to school governing bodies/HTs.

I was thinking that but it was to give schools a steer on considering it rather than a mandate. I've also emailed the chair of governors for my DC various schools.