To be surprised how many parents can't afford children's footwear?

[moita]

I must have been living under a rock but: I recently started volunteering for a charity that donates coats to children who need one.

I live in a village just outside a deprived city and we have lots of requests for coats from struggling parents.

It was eye-opening. We then started having the same request: for footwear, most specifically wellies. We put out social media messages for used but good condition wellies. Lots of people donated and they were all pretty much snapped up.

I've got to say: I was surprised, naively so? I felt guilty buying my toddler wellies from the supermarket but here were parents happy to take used ones away. And a lot of the people who came to use are single mums who have fallen on hard times.

I don't know. I just feel so sad that our service is so needed.

Also your snide habit of posting my username wrongly says a lot for you.

And how other people in this thread have explained to you that abusive relationships, redundancies, job-loss, spousal loss ect ect ect happen every single day - even before we were in a global pandemic. Just remember that karma is a thing that teaches us growth through lessons... your narrow minded, prejudice thoughts towards situations of other people that you’ve never personally experienced can become a reality for you very quickly. Think before you speak, you sound un-educated.

@AnitaB888 Oh dear
I live in a mixed area with luxury apartments and hard-core high poverty wc class housing, these feckless parents do exist though they are in a minority.
The majority go without food to dress their DC if necessary, after groceries, heat, electric, rent, there isn't always money for an ice cream never mind shoes.
The ones that don't their neighbours step in and provide.
DS little friend never stops climbing he puts holes in his trainers constantly his DM is on the breadline.

Sorry havent read the thread, but I shall be sending my teenagers outgrown school shoes (std black leather, worn for just under 2 weeks, and cost over £60 from an independent shoe shop) to Sals Shoes. www.salsshoes.com/

They run a school shoe campaign in the UK and overseas.

I offered them locally for free back in the autumn and had no takers. The schools second hand uniform shops wont take shoes. I live in a fairly well off area, but with hidden poverty (mostly due to housing costs), so was sure a family could find them useful. But sadly not. I have been determined to find a good home for them so have kept them for months. But I appreciate not everyone can.

@spongedog It must be harder to take hand outs in an affluent area and admit poverty.
Some properties around here at worth a fortune, they are falling apart from lack of maintenance rotted windows etc.
I wonder why they don't bloody sell for a few million, they could afford a warm dry home and have money but the shame would be huge.

Plenty of help here;

www.ftct.org.uk/grants-for-childrens-clothing

www.familyfund.org.uk/clothing

www.family-action.org.uk/what-we-do/grants/

www.buttleuk.org/other-charities

@JustLyra

^^^ is wasn't 'snide' it was a typo.

After you've taken that chip off your shoulder maybe you'd like to take the piece of fried fish off the other ?

Sapphiree,
'your narrow minded, prejudice thoughts towards situations of other people that you’ve never personally experienced'

You haven't a clue as to what I have/haven't experienced, so stop making such presumptuous allegations.

[quote AnitaB888]Plenty of help here;

www.ftct.org.uk/grants-for-childrens-clothing

www.familyfund.org.uk/clothing

www.family-action.org.uk/what-we-do/grants/

www.buttleuk.org/other-charities[/quote]
Plenty of help? Hardly...

The first is only open to families where one has worked or currently works in the fashion and textile industry.

The second is only available to families where a child has significant needs due to disability or illness.

The welfare grants from the third are closed due to a lack of funds. Their education grants are for over 14s and there are currently only 5 affiliated establishments.

Only a support worker can apply to Buttle for anything other than a boarding school grant.

So hardly “plenty” of help to buy shoes in that wee list...

@Emeraldshamrock,
I take your point in part.

My church is in an area that's not particularly affluent and has a lot of young families.
We set up a clothes/shoe bank and kept it very discrete to spare the feelings of those might want to use it. (So discrete in fact that some of us didn't know about it! )
Clothes were kept at the Rectory and apparently even though people could come to access it and leave by another door on the other side of the building, there wasn't much uptake. So eventually the clothes went to a charity shop.
Some people 'didn't want charity' it seemed.

@JustLyra

"Plenty of help? Hardly..."

Well aren't you just a little ray of sunshine?

It seems that this is an issue to you, so why not start your own 'clothing exchange' and then you will be in a better position to criticise those who try to help.

[quote AnitaB888]@Emeraldshamrock,
I take your point in part.

My church is in an area that's not particularly affluent and has a lot of young families.
We set up a clothes/shoe bank and kept it very discrete to spare the feelings of those might want to use it. (So discrete in fact that some of us didn't know about it! )
Clothes were kept at the Rectory and apparently even though people could come to access it and leave by another door on the other side of the building, there wasn't much uptake. So eventually the clothes went to a charity shop.
Some people 'didn't want charity' it seemed.[/quote]
Having run a uniform and baby bank for a while now two things I’ve learned along the way (genuine points)

A church venue puts a small number of people off as they’re worried about being seen (our uptake almost doubled when we left the church hall for a different storage space). It feels very obvious to them that if their friend/neighbour/relative sees them at church when they know they’re not religious that they’re there for a “handout”.

A third party referral system works wonders because it adds a layer of anonymity. At ours people are referred by school, brownie leaders, childminders, social workers. Stuff is out together and collected/delivered and the person feels that the person they know in their community doesn’t know they’ve had to ask for help.

[quote AnitaB888]@JustLyra

"Plenty of help? Hardly..."

Well aren't you just a little ray of sunshine?

It seems that this is an issue to you, so why not start your own 'clothing exchange' and then you will be in a better position to criticise those who try to help.[/quote]
Well if you read what I’ve posted next you’ll see I did...

There was no help in your posted links. Part of the issue is that people often think there is more help out there than there is, but when you scratch the surface of it it’s either no available, closed or extremely difficult to access.

Also another good tip for increasing people’s comfort level with accessing a clothing bank is to hit the recycling angle.

People feel less ashamed to take a second hand school jumper to save it going to landfill than they do taking it because the are skint.

@JustLyra,

"A church venue puts a small number of people off as they’re worried about being seen (our uptake almost doubled when we left the church hall for a different storage space). It feels very obvious to them that if their friend/neighbour/relative sees them at church when they know they’re not religious that they’re there for a “handout”"

I take your point.

That's why it was only the Priest and a couple of other church members who knew who accessed the facility.

It was felt that we could give more immediate help by offering a free 'light tea' at the Mother & Baby/Children's club once a week. That works well as DCs can bring their friends, (with parents' permission).
There is no requirement to attend church to attend the group and we have a safe play area with toys available. That is very popular as it gives mums a break.

We do have a 'foodbank' administered on a referral system and again that's in the Rectory for discretion.

I take your point.

That's why it was only the Priest and a couple of other church members who knew who accessed the facility.

It was as much (from our feedback) about been seen by people they knew entering and leaving the building. One person put it quite bluntly saying "If someone saw me near one of the church buildings they'd think one of three things... I'm getting a handout, I'm robbing the place, or someone is dead".

As well as people being worried that gossip would get round the church (we had the same problem when we were based in the school for a while as well) and then filter out to people they knew. It's one of the most difficult things to get round.

Your foodbank system would probably give you good access to the exact people who could refer for clothes (especially school uniform) if you ever started it again. We started small enough that we had a list of some stuff we had that we emailed to a few people we knew knew people who could make use of it. Within five years the uniform and baby bank got so well known and build up so much it's now got a paid member of staff (god bless yearly funders!) and a volunteer rota of 15. If the need is there in your area people will come eventually, it will just take a lot of time for the trust to build.

JustLyra,
"Your foodbank system would probably give you good access to the exact people who could refer for clothes (especially school uniform) if you ever started it again"

Possible it could and I have no doubt it could be implemented as you say. However, the whole set-up is 'staffed' by volunteers so we rely on the goodwill of people to do this.

@AnitaB888

JustLyra, "Your foodbank system would probably give you good access to the exact people who could refer for clothes (especially school uniform) if you ever started it again"

Possible it could and I have no doubt it could be implemented as you say. However, the whole set-up is 'staffed' by volunteers so we rely on the goodwill of people to do this.

Yeah I get that. We were the same until this time last year when we got funding for one staff member. Everything else (playscheme, before and afterschool care and foodbank) is all volunteer run.

JustLyra
"Yeah I get that. We were the same until this time last year when we got funding for one staff member. Everything else (playscheme, before and afterschool care and foodbank) is all volunteer run."

I'm glad we agree on something, in principle.

However, school and church situations are different.

@AnitaB888

JustLyra "Yeah I get that. We were the same until this time last year when we got funding for one staff member. Everything else (playscheme, before and afterschool care and foodbank) is all volunteer run."

I'm glad we agree on something, in principle.

However, school and church situations are different.

We're not a school run operation.

None of the groups are linked to the schools I worked in. Even the school that we run before and afterschool care from aren't actually involved operationally. We just rent space from them.

Church situations are very different, granted.

@JustLyra

'We're not a school run operation.'

OK

'Church situations are very different, granted.'

OK

@Misssugarplum12764

YABNU to be up to now unaware (especially as your reaction when made aware was to show empathy and to reach out to find out more) but objectively it’s fairly odd to be exposed to statistics about child poverty, including working poverty, and then be surprised about it.

I think that is because second-hand shoes are not ideal for healthy foot growth. Whereas second-hamd clothes are absolutely fine.

I doubt if things have changed since the thread started three months ago, perhaps just as much as winter coats and footwear have been needed for longer than usual with the wet May weather.

This thread is so sad sad I’ve just looked for women’s refuges locally and can’t find any info. Just charity shops that are shut.

Have a look on Olio, they are about keeping food out of bins but local charities sometimes use them. I found this out when I had excess pears, they went to a charity that feeds homeless people locally.

Children's centres can often identify families in need. One of my friends works in a Children's centre and they have various schemes in operation but they are always one grant away from closure.