To be surprised how many parents can't afford children's footwear?

[moita]

I must have been living under a rock but: I recently started volunteering for a charity that donates coats to children who need one.

I live in a village just outside a deprived city and we have lots of requests for coats from struggling parents.

It was eye-opening. We then started having the same request: for footwear, most specifically wellies. We put out social media messages for used but good condition wellies. Lots of people donated and they were all pretty much snapped up.

I've got to say: I was surprised, naively so? I felt guilty buying my toddler wellies from the supermarket but here were parents happy to take used ones away. And a lot of the people who came to use are single mums who have fallen on hard times.

I don't know. I just feel so sad that our service is so needed.

I’ve never understood why people have children if they can’t afford to raise them - regardless of a pandemic

@CathyTurnbull

I’ve never understood why people have children if they can’t afford to raise them - regardless of a pandemic

You know circumstances can change, right? They have children when they can afford them, then something comes along like serious illness/disability/job losses and it all becomes a bit more difficult?

I’ve never understood why people have children if they can’t afford to raise them - regardless of a pandemic

Oh do pull your head out of your backside and have a good long think about the reasons why people could be struggling.

Circumstances change and children that were affordable when conceived suddenly can become less so due to death of a spouse, divorce, domestic abuse with financial abuse as a factor, redundancy, illness, disability, caring responsibilities, etc.

Not everyone has control over their reproductive choices, women in abusive relationships are often denied access to contraception and forced into pregnancy because a child is an additional means of control for their abuser.

Some people live incredibly chaotic lives to the point that it is in itself an impediment and the decisions that arise from the chaos are not always thought through.

Contraception can fail and abortion is not compulsory, babies are cheaper than children which can give the illusion that it will be more manageable than it actually is.

And there are a million other reasons besides.

Regardless of whose fault you think it might be, there is one person who is never to blame and that is the child.

I’ve never understood why people have children if they can’t afford to raise them - regardless of a pandemic

I know we should all figure out job losses, global pandemics, relationship breakdowns, disabilities, accidents etc beforehand and save accordingly before having kids.

Hope you managed to save up plenty before getting your head stuck up your arse

Perhaps direct your ire at inequitable government policies, systematic barriers to employment (most of which are caused by those inequitable policies), employers who rely on low-paid insecure employment practices that put profit ahead of people and leave employees in need of government top ups in order to afford "luxuries" like food and rent, and the punitive welfare system that keeps poor people poor.

@CathyTurnbull

I’ve never understood why people have children if they can’t afford to raise them - regardless of a pandemic

REGARDLESS of the Pandemic? Really? So you think only people who can afford to have children whilst not having a job because of mass business closures and not receiving benefits should have kids?

@CathyTurnbull

I’ve never understood why people have children if they can’t afford to raise them - regardless of a pandemic

Bingo! Where's my prize! FFS.

Never understood narrow-minded, mean-spirited people.

Oh dear what some very silly and inane comments

Oh dear what some very silly and inane comments

I agree, they were silly and inane, I'm glad you saw the light and changed your mind so quickly.

Oh dear what some very silly and inane comments

couldn't agree more.

This one below has to be the most ridicules, said by someone who is sitting on a very high horse of ignorance, superiority and glip.

I’ve never understood why people have children if they can’t afford to raise them - regardless of a pandemic

@CathyTurnbull

Oh dear what some very silly and inane comments

Please explain. You think no one should have children unless they can afford them regardless of what unexpectedly happens on the world. So only those with enough in the bank to never work again. How are other people being silly and inane?

@CathyTurnbull

I’ve never understood why people have children if they can’t afford to raise them - regardless of a pandemic

I couldn't agree more... I mean we all have the ability to look in a crystal ball to predict illness, redundancy, relationship breakdowns, recession, global pandemic, disability, the uselessness of CMS, and any other circumstance changes...

I mean who can't foresee all of those things

This brings back an awful memory for me. When I was 8 I remember playing at school and the heel/sole fell of my shoe - I knew my parents didn’t have the money and the embarrassment of it falling off infront of my peers :( I was the child whose parents could not necessarily afford a whole new uniform (I remember only having one shirt for school and my mum telling me not to mess it as they couldn’t afford to wash it everyday. As I got older I remember being paranoid about smelling :(
It’s sad that nothing seems to have moved on in 35 years.

If you click on children's shoes at Clark's the prices are expensive. Times that by x number of kids. Plus they get through them at school so fast, as well as growing out of them. Then times by the different pairs - School shoes, trainers, home shoes....it all adds up

Of course circumstances change, it’s a general observation obviously, I’m not talking about people going through a bad patch. It’s about people who don’t have any insight, have general poor judgment, then expect someone else to pick up the tab when things don’t pan out very well.
I think the current pandemic has really highlighted how entitled, idiotic and selfish people really are.
I think we all know people who fall into this category- as I say this is not about the many people who going through a bad patch because of the pandemic

I voted YABU as there are many charities on social media asking for donations of clothing and furnishings to support poorer families. With the cost of housing many people are struggling to survive hence we have a need for food banks. This poverty can happen to anyone through illness, redundancy or breakdown of relationships.

Sure some people are irresponsible. Some people make bad choices. But unless you favour enforced sterilisation, taking many more children into the care of the state or condemning children to grow up in abject poverty, what solutions are you proposing exactly?

CathyTurnbull

Your posts astound me, you lack such self awareness when posting.

It’s about people who don’t have any insight, have general poor judgment

I think the current pandemic has really highlighted how entitled, idiotic and selfish people really are

Look in the mirror.

@NewYearNewTwatName

CathyTurnbull

Your posts astound me, you lack such self awareness when posting.

It’s about people who don’t have any insight, have general poor judgment

I think the current pandemic has really highlighted how entitled, idiotic and selfish people really are

Look in the mirror.

It’s ok to disagree and have a different point of view, it’s not personal

CathyTurnbull

yes as stated earlier your points of view are glib.

I'm only pointing that out. nothing personal.

@Todaytomorrowyesterday . I hope grown up times have been better for you.

I must have been very lucky because I only recall dd growing out of shoes once - and that was over the summer holidays. But I still don't recall them having tons of shoes. School shoes, plimsolls; trainers and trainers lasted for ages. All the other shoes were handed around (football boots, wellies, cricket spikes, ballet shoes, character shoes, etc). My best playground friend had a girl ds's age and a boy dd's age and she never had to buy boy uniform and I never had to buy girl uniform. We swapped coats as well and then it all went to someone else's little brother or sister. Mine are 26 and 22 now and either things were better quality then or we swapped more.

What's sad is that we were all pretty well off. I once asked a mum very nicely who I thought might welcome their old coats and was told peremptorily that her dc only wore new things.

Of course circumstances change, it’s a general observation obviously, I’m not talking about people going through a bad patch. It’s about people who don’t have any insight, have general poor judgment, then expect someone else to pick up the tab when things don’t pan out very well.
I think the current pandemic has really highlighted how entitled, idiotic and selfish people really are.
I think we all know people who fall into this category- as I say this is not about the many people who going through a bad patch because of the pandemic

And why should we punish the children in these scenarios for choices that they have absolutely no control over? They're amongst the most vulnerable members of our society and they deserve to have their tab picked up so that they get the same basic opportunities as their peers, so that they have access to education, food, housing, and clothing.

@CathyTurnbull

I’ve never understood why people have children if they can’t afford to raise them - regardless of a pandemic

Oh for god sake !

Well done for volunteering and understanding that your eyes were being opened. I had a similar awakening when I moved from teaching in an affluent area to one of the most deprived towns in the nation.
When I started teaching, I was young, childless and rather naive. I didn’t have much tolerance for parents who didn’t read with their children, or cook, or enjoy crafts, or go on nature walks or... you get the picture.
Then I had children. 🙂

So true poverty is real and endemic in this country, and in the short term we need more people like the OP redistributing resources.
In the long term, we need fundamental change.

@ArmchairTraveller embarrassingly I was brought up in a deprived area and my parents were working class so I should be aware as we didn't have a lot of money growing up. I think I've just become to comfortable in my middle class bubble surrounded by friends who shop at Clark's for new shoes.

It's been a wake up call.

For those who I asked I'm in the Midlands