To be surprised how many parents can't afford children's footwear?

[moita]

I must have been living under a rock but: I recently started volunteering for a charity that donates coats to children who need one.

I live in a village just outside a deprived city and we have lots of requests for coats from struggling parents.

It was eye-opening. We then started having the same request: for footwear, most specifically wellies. We put out social media messages for used but good condition wellies. Lots of people donated and they were all pretty much snapped up.

I've got to say: I was surprised, naively so? I felt guilty buying my toddler wellies from the supermarket but here were parents happy to take used ones away. And a lot of the people who came to use are single mums who have fallen on hard times.

I don't know. I just feel so sad that our service is so needed.

People in the one of the worlds richest countries can't afford to dress their kids. And yet a hedge fund manager at a top 20 firm gets paid $500+ million dollars each year for manipulating the stock market. For overseeing a team of glorified gamblers pressing computer keys. Keep believing your vote counts!

There's class warfare, all right,” Mr. Buffett said, “but it's my class, the rich class, that's making war, and we're winning.”.

Lewisham Donation Hub posted recently (during the snow) about providing a mum with shoes as her little boy was only wearing 5 pairs of socks. So sad. Luckily I think they've managed to open up again, they were closed for a while due to a complaint to the council that their service was non-essential.

My dcs had ridiculously wide feet which limited us to just one brand. Our wonderful local independent shoe shop used to fit for length and then, because dcs both needed wider than a G width, they would work out what size was needed and then return them to Start-Rite who would stretch them to the required width. There is no way I could have bought supermarket footwear for my dcs! Even plimsolls had to be width fitted. It is so easy to damage children's feet with ill-fitting shoes, and the damage is not evident until many years later, when it is too late to do anything about it. We did struggle financially, so I completely understand how difficult it can be and we did sometimes end up having to use birthday money etc to buy shoes. Though dcs still have wide feet , it is much easier for them as adult men to buy wider shoes than it is for me. I am EEEEE width fitting and not only can I never find nice looking shoes, but I rarely find anything in my size that costs less than £70.
If only such a charity had existed when my dcs were young, I would have gladly donated their outgrown, but never worn out, shoes.

For those of you looking to donate your shoes theres a great charity called Sal's Shoes that you can post outgrown shoes to. www.salsshoes.com/

dontdisturbmenow I agree about the obsession of Clark's and the quality of Clark's had long gone down hill since my parents bought them for us when we were little.

But still having those vouchers took an awful lot of pressure of us.

I find it weird that British schools require shoes that are different to a child’s everyday shoes or trainers. Why would you do that?

@MizMoonshine

I'm genuinely shocked by this. As a single mum on minimum wage, I could always afford my son's shoes. That's his school shoes, plus two kinds for PE and a few pairs of trainers plus a pair of wellies and slippers. I got them from the super market and they'd come in anywhere from £3-£15 a pair. Are times really that dire now?

Neither of the supermarkets in my town sell shoes (both fairly small branches) and it would cost the best part of £10 to get to the nearest large supermarket and back by public transport.

The problem with the cost of shoes was really brought home to me when I was doing a home visit and the client's teenage son came home with the sole hanging off his school shoes. He was at a school with an absurdly strict uniform policy and she knew that if she sent him to school in trainers, they'd just send him home. And she didn't dare not send him, because of the risk of getting a fine. She was in tears and quite beside herself.

I gave her a lift to a local project where they have a charity shop and run the food bank, and one of the volunteers there let her have a pair of men's shoes for £1, and treated our visit as a food bank referral as well and gave her a bag full of shopping worth at least £5.

A couple of the schools in my area organise sales of outgrown uniform and shoes, and will give stuff foc to families that are really struggling.

Food banks are a great resource, not just for those in food poverty, but because their volunteers know what else is available locally.

Having said that, however, I don’t think it’s essential to buy kids wellies when living in cities unless you live somewhere where it snows a lot. I imagine there’s an uptick in demand for this because of the current weather but even I as someone who can afford it wouldn’t bother otherwise.
@GrumpyHoonMain, I live in a city suburb but we still visit parks and woodland at the weekend. Trainers would be sodden. What do your children wear on walking days out or visits to NT properties where they roam around gardens? I don’t see wellies as something for country kids at all. When mine were under 5 they wanted to jump in every puddle they saw. There’s less of that these days but I still couldn’t imagine a wet walk without us all wearing wellies. We put wellies on just to walk the dog if it’s wet.

I remember this. I worked but the choice every week was a bit more petrol, food or buying essentials like clothes

It’s partly because I’d get them new in September ( supermarket or online sale but still leather so they’d have stretch). They would also need outdoor trainers and plimsolls or trainers and studded boots depending on ordinary or secondary. Then wellies and everyday shoes for home and a more substantial pair in the winter.
That’s a lot of footwear if they grow more than a size between then and July.
It’s also having the time to buy them especially having to drag DS along too to try them. I found whatever size he was that was the size never in stock in the style we wanted.

Shoes should be a priority your feet need to support you a lifetime.

Food is a priority. Rent. Heat & light. Those are priorities.

Clothing is a priority over good shoes. If you have enough left over from all that, then you buy the good shoes. But it is also worth mentioning that shoe technology has moved on a lot in the past decade or so. Most of the cheaper shoes still provide pretty decent support for growing feet.

@Littleoakhorn

I find it weird that British schools require shoes that are different to a child’s everyday shoes or trainers. Why would you do that?

It drives me mad, we have to buy them school shoes and plimsolls and trainers. Why on earth they need 3 pairs of shoes for school I don't understand?

Though with covid they stopped getting them to change into plimsolls (still made us buy them of course).

I'm just amazed that some families replace plimsolls, slippers, wellies for 4 children at a time - aren't they things that are handed down?

Not if they're too trashed, DS is really hard on his shoes so they're normally fit for nothing but the bin by the time he outgrows them. My DC don't grow at convenient rates either and they're different sexes as well as different builds so DS's outgrown size 3 trainers in wide fitting will be too big for size 13 narrow fitting DD and also for size 11 standard fitting DS and are no good to put away for size 8 extra wide fitting DD.

School jumpers can't be handed down as jumpers have to have the child's name embroidered below the school badge. You can unpick it but because of the holes from stitching and the difference in wear on the dye you can still see it, it would then need to be embroidered with the new child's name and the school uniform supplier won't embroider second hand jumpers.

A few of us actually asked school of uniform rules could be relaxed for the remainder of this school year to help support nay parents currently struggling and because its unfair on people having to replace uniform outgrown during lockdown if we then go back into lockdown and it doesn't get worn. School came back and said no. I wrote to my MP to ask if this is something the government could ask schools to do as part of their reopening guidance and he wrote back with a generic "education is important to me, UC claimants are getting an extra £20 a week, money for school meals (that he voted against)" reply that didn't actually answer the question.

@FoxyTheFox uniform that can't be handed down should be the most unbelievable thing on this thread but unfortunately I can believe it. Environmentally and financially, it's one of the most stupid things I've heard about school uniform.

All these people making disbelieving comments to the OP about how surprised you are that she's only just discovered the extent of this, give her a bit of room, eh?

Everybody learns about it somehow, and OP's learning about it because she's actually engaging with it and DOING something about it – not just knowing about it and thinking that's enough, as so many mumsnetters do.

You knew earlier, good for you. OP's stepping up to the plate and learning by getting her hands dirty – she doesn't need anyone stepping on her neck while she does it.

If you're truly interested in changing society, you should be supporting people who are learning for the first time, not sneering at them for being later to the party than you.

OP, it is shit. And seeing it first-hand is completely different to understanding it in theory. It does change how you think about your own life, and it can feel really uncomfortable at first – and you'll find a way to navigate it as time passes.

I'm not surprised because they are very expensive for the amount of time they fit!

I'm currently forced to use Clarks for my younger DC as one had very narrow and the other very wide feet. We are lucky that we have a factory outlet to make it cheaper, but sometimes they don't have all the width fittings available and I have to pay full price which can be well over £100 for two children knowing I'll be back again in 6 months or so.

I'm just amazed that some families replace plimsolls, slippers, wellies for 4 children at a time - aren't they things that are handed down?

I feel like the quality of clothes etc was better back in the day, even the cheaper brands. I had older brothers and (unfortunately) the clothes were always still in good condition when I was the right size for them, the only stuff I got 'new' was from the charity shop, and all was still mostly okay to be donated afterward. It was absolutely the done thing then, but I did grow up in a community which was very poor, as were we, so might not have been the case everywhere. I genuinely think some of the jumpers and shoes will survive the apocalypse and be left with the Nokia's and cockroaches! Now though a lot of clothes, aside from the expensive ones which aren't always affordable are fine for one child, at a push 2, maybe, but won't last longer than that. Plus I do think there's more pressure with social media etc, I would be absolutely trashed as a child now wearing boys clothes all of the time, but wasn't such an issue then it seemed.

Again, just my experience. Coupled with the fact though that uniforms are often embroidered, and you need so many pieces adds to the issue.

It makes sense for us as society to reuse children's shoes. They are rarely damaged by the time the child has outgrown them.

They are so expensive so I’m not surprised. They outgrow them so quickly aswell. I routinely spend £40 on Clark’s shoes for my toddler. It’s crazy - I can afford it but I do resent it.

I did get some wellies from matalan for £5 a pair. I got him two so he has one to keep at childcare too. It’s worth shopping around for wellies.

@DinoHat the quality of both the soles and outed of George shoes is the same as clarks imo, and last more than long enough for toddlers to outgrow. I was worried that they wouldn't offer the correct support, or that they would be too narrow (DS has wide feet), but they have been great!

Clarks also has a seperate outlet website to their main one which has some cheaper ones on, just in case you weren't aware as many people don't seem to be.

Thanks for the tip @Plutoh my DS has a wide fit too. I always feel compelled to buy Clark’s because I’ve been brainwashed into thinking they must be a certain fit, style and quality. My mum used to say that you shouldn’t buy cheap flats soled shoes as it affects your gait and foot growth/development, I’ve no idea if that’s true!

It drives me mad, we have to buy them school shoes and plimsolls and trainers. Why on earth they need 3 pairs of shoes for school I don't understand? Even if they allowed black leather trainer style school shoes or plain black trainers then these could be worn as school shoes, trainers, and out of school. Our secondary insists on proper office shoes though.

@ladybee28 well said

@Thehop

I wish there was a scheme near me I have so much to donate. Can you advise a Yorkshire contact?

I see the OP hasn’t been back so I don’t know which charity she works for, but this one is close to me in Yorkshire.

www.uniform-exchange.org/

A lot of the problem is that you need so many different types of shoes because schools won't your children in without them. If we could just buy trainers and be done with it and a pair of wellies now again it would be much easier.

@Walkerbean16

One of my daughters has been in adult trainer size since she was 9, they are twice the price of children's sizes.

I have four kids, a pair of school shoes each is over £200. then they need plimsolls football boots and trainers as well as regular shoes, boots for winter and wellies.

We can afford this but I can easily see how anyone could struggle even with just one child.

My ds is 15 and has been in adult shoes since he was 11. He has slowed down a bit now but up until this year outgrew them every single term. Same with dd. We can afford them but it does make a huge difference to the costs when they are in adults shoes and I can easily see how people could struggle to afford them. You can buy clothes a bit bigger but can’t leave as much growing room in shoes unfortunately. Ds has recently been selling his old footy boots on eBay for a bit of extra cash. We have accumulated loads over the years and I haven’t wanted to get rid as they are still like new. After reading this I’m going to nab the rest and donate them.